Tweet
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to one of GOD'S
Favorite People!
to one of GOD'S
Favorite People!
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Hutchins!
Happy Birthday, Brother. I hope you enjoy the box of wine I sent over from my cellar. See you on the links tomorrow. T-time is 10am, Capt. Portaway will fly us over to Hunter's Ridge for a quick 18 holes.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!! -
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Hutchins!
Thank you and God Bless you both.
Yes, I got you extremely generous gift, dropped off by your nigra driver, Chester. I had to shoo him out of the kitchen as he was trying to get at my wife, Mrs. Hutchins, pie. Apparently, Mrs. Hutchins was airing it on the counter and he could not resist getting a taste.
Golf will be terriffic, the standard $100 a hole with $500 birdie bonus?Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Hutchins!
A most blessed birthday to you, Mr. Hutchins.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Hutchins!
Happy birthday! You seem to look younger each year. Age has fallen from you even as Og the King of Bashan, and Sihon, King of the Amorites, fell before the sword of our forefathers!sigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Hutchins!
Happy Birthday, Brother Hutchins.
Would that there were many more regular nice guys just like you in the world with Jesus in their hearts. If that were the case, this great disk called earth we live on would be a much better place.
Sincerely,
Pastor Ed
Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Hutchins!
Oh Mr. Hutchins, I'm so sorry I missed your birthday! Do you remember that boy from the truck stop ministry, the one you asked me to "take care of?"
Um, you need to call me ASAP!WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Hutchins!
The orphan (they are all Certified Oprphans(r))? He is/was yours. I am sure if there was a problem, you will know how to make it go away.Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
If it 'did not work out', I am truly sorry and will look for another for you. Over the years, I have had a few that simply vanished in the middle of the night. I imagine God came and took them as He knew I had done everything I could. I am just a man (as are you) and cannot work miracles. Only God can.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Hutchins!
I'm sand-blasting the interior of my van as we speak. Then I will re-paint it in its original color. I hope that will be adequate.WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Hutchins!
Hm, it seems I overslept a few days and missed your birthday. I need to find better coffee.5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
- Protect your family the Christian way! Get your daughter raped!
- Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
- Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Hutchins!
Dearest Mr. Hutchins,
Please forgive me for the delay, but my stove broke, so I couldn't bake anything until today. Here is your birthday cake:
Happy belated birthday!
God created fossils to test our faith.
* * *
My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Hutchins!
Happy Birthday, organic chemist!Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Hutchins!
At least I was able top remove all doubts about Creationism and prove only God could of made everything. I still have my Masters thesis experiment jar of peanut butter. Thirty five+ years later and still, no creature (great or small) has climbed out of the jar!Originally posted by RepentingJew View PostIsaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Hutchins!
Could you elaborate more on your Master's thesis?Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Hutchins!
Like the Bible, I'll keep it simple so any reader can understand.Originally posted by RepentingJew View PostCould you elaborate more on your Master's thesis?
Eviloutionists claim man came from 'primordial soup'. In essence, a puddle of organic 'goo' created life. It 'just happened', like magic.
Some people claim aliens came to earth and used DNA to make man. I say someone watched too many Ed Wood movies. Aliens, from outter space - ridiculous!
Peanut butter is chock full of organic nutrients. So based on what eviloutionists claim, I opened a jar, spit in it to give it a jump start and waited. Not a single person climbed out. Not a monkey or frog either. Nothing. Two years of careful observation at Princeton, all documented and cataloged. If you go to the library, 5th sub level, you can see my paper.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
Comment