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  • #1

    Happy Birthday, Brother Bathfire!

    My sincerest apologies for not posting earlier. To be honest, I was hoping today was going to be your special day to go to Heavean and sit on the Right Hand of God.
    So if you are wondering what the large crate is at the post office, here is a glimpse:


    PS - It has bluetooth!
    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Bathfire!

    My condolences that Jesus kept you alive for yet another year. Intelligent people always have to suffer the most for Jesus Christ, as I myself endure each and every day. Did your sons do something useful this time, or is it a disaster as usual?
    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Bathfire!

      OH PRECIOUS CHURCH ELDER WHO HAS HELPED SO MANY:

      I just know that many of us wouldn't even be here if it weren't for your constant True Christian™ vigilance and Biblical© Insight.

      I didn't have time to bake a traditional cake, BUT here is a nice cheesecake with currants. I had extra white chocolate after molding the Holy Family figures, so I drizzled it across the cake...just as God™s outpouring of love is always gushing and drizzling over us!

      PRAISE!

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Bathfire!

        Brother Bathfire, for your special day, I've arranged for some of my "lady friends" to come get your wife and take her for a "girl's night out" on the town.

        Don't say I never did you any favors!

        WARNING:
        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Bathfire!

          Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post


          PS - It has bluetooth!
          It fits perfectly and bluetooth enables me to have a streaming KJV1611. I'm touched.

          Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
          My condolences that Jesus kept you alive for yet another year. Intelligent people always have to suffer the most for Jesus Christ, as I myself endure each and every day. Did your sons do something useful this time, or is it a disaster as usual?
          My sons narrowly avoid a stoning. As the day was my birthday, I forgave them for selling doves.

          Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
          I didn't have time to bake a traditional cake, BUT here is a nice cheesecake with currants. I had extra white chocolate after molding the Holy Family figures,
          Delightful. I wondered what the "drizzle" was.

          I stamped on the figures as they appeared to be "graven"

          PRAISE!



          Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
          Brother Bathfire, for your special day, I've arranged for some of my "lady friends" to come get your wife and take her for a "girl's night out" on the town.

          Don't say I never did you any favors!

          I recall that you did something similar last year... Mrs Bathfire was confined to her bed for three days and the pruning of the fig tree had to wait until she could climb a ladder again. Nevertheless, I know your heart is in the right place.
          sigpic


          “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

          Author of such illuminating essays as,
          Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Bathfire!

            Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
            Delightful. I wondered what the "drizzle" was.
            Taste it!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Bathfire!

              Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

              I hope you enjoyed your birthday Jesus-themed cake I baked for you!

              God created fossils to test our faith.

              * * *

              My favorite LBC sermons:
              True Christians are Perfect!
              True Christian™ Love.
              Salvation™ made Easy!
              You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
              Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
              Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
               Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
              Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
              The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
              Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
              God HATES Rational Thinking!
              True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

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