[Cranky Old Man]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

@Purge the Unfaithful Why are you not nicer about @Pastor Ezekiel? He is such a nice man!

Then why is he spreading rumors about my completely innocent wetsuit collection? Why did he put me on the list of Sam Diamond? As a matter of fact, why did he put you on that list?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Mr Dewitt we will talk after my investigation is complete
Rev. Rodimer we shall see, we shall see.
Pastor Ezekiel I have compiled a list check it for accuracy if you will.
Sister Talitha, Rev M. Rodimer, Levi Jones, Bobby-Joe, Brother Enoch, Nobar King, Bible Thumpin Blond, Rev Jim Osborne, James Dewitt( I all ready know of him), Eliot Mayfield, Nurse Clampett, Felicity, Miss Cassandra( I ran her name through Interpol and the Cedar Rapids data base 107 pages she has been very bussy) Aristotle, Luci Mourningstar, Cranky Old Man, Believer In God, Pastor Isaac Peters, James Hutchins( He is very good friends with Mr Dewitt interesting to say the least.) and Jimmy- Roy Stewart. Pastor let me know if I have missed anyone
Thanks for the DoF files, I find that their real names and addresses do come in handy. Not that I would have not gotten them anyway, it just saves me time.
I am glad that we could agree on my fee of $1,000 dollars per day plus expenses. I am quite sure as I probe into each and every one on the list you will see a large increase in tithing. Friday I will start at the top of the list. Talitha is the first to be probed.
If anyone would like to, lets say come clean you may PM, Email or contact me on my satellite phone day or night.
Best Regards Sam Diamond

Great, so I'm second to be probed, eh?

Well, I hope you like the Super 8, because it's the closest motel to North Salem.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

There are plenty of things I have ordered you not to discuss, and I have my reasons for them all. Who do you think you are to defy me? Don't you realize that I am not only smarter than you, but much, much closer to Jesus than you'll ever be? It is not in your interest to flap your mouth all over town about certain subjects that Jesus and I don't want discussed.

It just so happens that Governor Culver was in need of spiritual counseling on several matters of great interest to the Republican party. In gratitude for my services, he granted certain irrevocable rights to me here in Freehold Township, among which are the exclusive ownership of all mineral rights...well, it gets complicated, but all you need to know is that you can be evicted from your Landover Baptist Men's Dormitory at any time. Capeech?

Yes, funny how my house got cited and declared uninhabitable yesterday because it was on a American-Indian site. The Chippewa have only been suing about that for the last twenty years when all of a sudden someone in Freehold oddly declared we must respect our "Red Brothers for are we all not humans created by the same mother planet?".

Well, well, I guess the GREENS got their wish and that strip mining isn't going to happen Zeke. Odd coincidence. Kind of like that farm you bought that blocked AT&T from building that cell phone tower and upsetting, as the Wiccans put it, "The mid Iowan Lay Line". I am sure it is all purely related Zeke. It's not like there is a detailed minutes of any meetings with someone's lawyers anywhere.

Yep, the Green Robin Hood of Iowa, who steals from polluters and gives to the environment is all a myth. Right Zeke???

[Sam Diamond]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Mr Dewitt we will talk after my investigation is complete
Rev. Rodimer we shall see, we shall see.
Pastor Ezekiel I have compiled a list check it for accuracy if you will.
Sister Talitha, Rev M. Rodimer, Levi Jones, Bobby-Joe, Brother Enoch, Nobar King, Bible Thumpin Blond, Rev Jim Osborne, James Dewitt( I all ready know of him), Eliot Mayfield, Nurse Clampett, Felicity, Miss Cassandra( I ran her name through Interpol and the Cedar Rapids data base 107 pages she has been very bussy) Aristotle, Luci Mourningstar, Cranky Old Man, Believer In God, Pastor Isaac Peters, James Hutchins( He is very good friends with Mr Dewitt interesting to say the least.) and Jimmy- Roy Stewart. Pastor let me know if I have missed anyone
Thanks for the DoF files, I find that their real names and addresses do come in handy. Not that I would have not gotten them anyway, it just saves me time.
I am glad that we could agree on my fee of $1,000 dollars per day plus expenses. I am quite sure as I probe into each and every one on the list you will see a large increase in tithing. Friday I will start at the top of the list. Talitha is the first to be probed.
If anyone would like to, lets say come clean you may PM, Email or contact me on my satellite phone day or night.
Best Regards Sam Diamond

I have been notified by the DoF and the office of Pastor Ezekiel that I have over looked two individuals.

Adding to the list as follows, Purge The Unfaithful and True Disciple.

Again let me reiterate it is not to late, you may at anytime contact me Pm, Email Satellite Phone or post a message.

And NO REV Rodimire I will not meet at a motel8, I have made note of the remark.

BelieverInGod this is not the Spanish Inquisition, If you have done no wrong there is nothing to fear and I will not be contacting your husband, a few neighbors possibly.

[James Dewitt]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Then why is he spreading rumors about my completely innocent wetsuit collection? Why did he put me on the list of Sam Diamond? As a matter of fact, why did he put you on that list?

Why did I make the list, I emailed the guy? I told Pastor Zeke he could keep the wood. By the way Cranky why do you have 63 wetsuits?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

By the way Cranky why do you have 63 wetsuits?

Why does everyone keep bothering me about that. Why would I not have 63 wetsuits? How do you know I many I have of them anyway? Have you been breaking and entering again?

BelieverInGod this is not the Spanish Inquisition, If you have done no wrong there is nothing to fear and I will not be contacting your husband, a few neighbors possibly.

You will contact neighbors? And yet you claim this is not the Spanish Inquisition? It seems it is time for me to put that for sale sight back in Mrs. Johnson's lawn.

[Nolita]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

[True Disciple]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Adding to the list as follows, Purge The Unfaithful and True Disciple.

Umm...you do realize that I've never given Pastor Zeke anything but my full support, I hope?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Umm...you do realize that I've never given Pastor Zeke anything but my full support, I hope?

Same here. I've already said that there has to be a perfectly innocent explanation for everything, even ... well ... you know what.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Umm...you do realize that I've never given Pastor Zeke anything but my full support, I hope?

Said my the Brother who also said:

And anyway, if you really had been a good True Christian™, would you have been on his list? Of course not!

But I am too busy to really get into this now. I have wetsuits to burn and houses to sell.

[True Disciple]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Said my the Brother who also said

You know better than this, Brother. Mr. Diamond is not our Good Lord, so he makes mistakes, like we all do.

But I am too busy to really get into this now. I have wetsuits to burn and houses to sell.

Don't you realize that polluting the environment like this will take the lives of many woodland animals?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Don't you realize that polluting the environment like this will take the lives of many woodland animals?

So? Since when have you become an Eco Hippie?

[True Disciple]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

So? Since when have you become an Eco Hippie?

Excuse me? I was just worried about the potential deleterious effects of this on the fragile ecosystems God created, or something like that. Always jumping to the worst conclusions, aren't you?

[James Dewitt]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

I just saw the Landover Jet fly overhead, heading due west.
What is freaking me out is Zeke, he just keeps smiling ever since he hired the guy. How much dirt can this guy dig up?I had some friends in NY check Diamond out. Man is he clean, not even a parking ticket! I wonder if groveling is acceptable?

Pastor Isaac Peters didn't Pastor Ezekiel invite you to go with him and Diamond?

[James Dewitt]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Why does everyone keep bothering me about that. Why would I not have 63 wetsuits? How do you know I many I have of them anyway? Have you been breaking and entering again?

I did not break in, the side door was not locked, I was looking for you to discuss a few concerns about the frame job that you helped with on Cassandra up and coming Rib Fest. I thought you might be in the closet in your study, 63 wet suits really? Hey how come some of the pants had the backside cut out. They looked like kinky cowboy chaps made of rubber.