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  • #76
    Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

    Originally posted by OverlyAttachedJaviera View Post
    Aha, some corrections... first of all, I'm still learning english, don't wait my english to be perfect in a short time, it needs practice, second, how can you hear my tone of voice? I mean, this is written communication. Third, I have never had sex. Fourth, you're violent, truly violent, and I don't tolerate people who spank children, be sure I would return EVERY hit you give me, ok? I'm not an idiot who let another people abuse of me, you must learn that in one way or another, I don't care if you're an old woman, if you abuse of me, you deserve a punishment, are we clear now?
    Oh, the follies of youth. Remember, Miss Javiera Leviticus 19:32 "Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD." Now, having said that, I'm going to show you why you are wrong.

    First, you say you are learning English. Well, at least you are learning God's favorite language. That is good. However, anything is possible through God, through prayer. Meaning, if you repented and prayed to the Lord, a miracle could occur. Matthew 7:7 "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:". However, you would have to repent first. John 9:31 "Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth."

    Second, you claim I cannot hear your tone of voice. You claim that mine is scolding and harsh, but this is written communication, right? See, your point makes no sense. Also, look further. IF I WRITE IN ALL CAPS WITH BOLD, RED, AND UNDERLINE ON, I am trying to be loud, rude, yelling, and in your face. That much is clear. Thus, hearing your tone of voice is possible. After all things are possible through Christ. "Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." Mark 9:23


    You claim that you never had sex. Yet the image you sent to the good, upstanding True Christian Brother Des was of you, an old lady with her pants off. Modesty is a good indication of how slutty you are, and you were the opposite of modesty in that photo. Really! 1 Timothy 2:9 "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;". While you are so fat plump, in that photo, and the opposite of appealing to a man, at least according to my husband, who is always right, there may be a man who might find you appealing. Thus, you cause him to sin. "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Matthew 5:28 Adultery is a sin. "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Exodus 20:14

    You are calling me violent. What proof do you have that I have hurt you? None, as we have not met in person. If I have deducted points from you, or scolded you, it was rebuking you in the name of the Lord, which is perfectly acceptable, as is disciplining, however the Lord sees fit. "Open rebuke is better than secret love." Proverbs 27:5 also see Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.". I don't even have a rod, but can't you see I'm just trying to help you get to heaven? I don't rebuke you for fun. I rebuke you because I'm trying to help you get to heaven as the the Lord commands. "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:" Matthew 28:19


    As for me being old. I'm probably older than you. If not physically, then mentally. I'm respectably married and pregnant, and a woman of good standing in my church, as a pastor's wife. As for my age, Javiera, you little ignorant girl, I'm only 17.5. While a lady normally would not reveal her age, I want to tell you I'm not a "little, old, freaky-conservative lady". I'm a young, highly intelligent (I graduated high school with multiple 5s on the secular AP exams). I am proudly conservative, both religiously and politically (Go Tea Party! Save our liberty!).

    Yours in Christ (who you still have to accept),
    Elizabeth
    "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

    Comment


    • #77
      Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

      Brother Zechariah, you're asking too much of dear Javiera. For her to be able to include scripture to support her claims, she would have to own, read, and comprehend a Bible.

      If you believe that's ever going to happen, your faith is clearly stronger than my own.

      Praise Jesus.
      WARNING:
      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

      Comment


      • #78
        Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

        Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
        Brother Zechariah, you're asking too much of dear Javiera. For her to be able to include scripture to support her claims, she would have to own, read, and comprehend a Bible.

        If you believe that's ever going to happen, your faith is clearly stronger than my own.

        Praise Jesus.
        Brother Faith Machine, forgive me if I am speaking out of turn, but there is a KJV Bible online. Javiera, take heed: http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/.
        "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

        Comment


        • #79
          Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

          Originally posted by OverlyAttachedJaviera View Post
          Do you read what I write?
          It is so good to hear from you, again. Have you finally come to accept Jesus?

          Your friend, Dr Laurence Niles, PhD.
          1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

          Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

          Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

          Comment


          • #80
            Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

            I have just seen Mistress Cookie on these forums for the first time in months and it says she is modifying her post! Hallelujah, the Lord saw it fit to give her back to us!
            "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

            Comment


            • #81
              Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

              Originally posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
              I have just seen Mistress Cookie on these forums for the first time in months and it says she is modifying her post! Hallelujah, the Lord saw it fit to give her back to us!
              That just means someone is logged into her account, possibly a Pastor or some other system administrator, or OYG* IT MIGHT BE JESUS!!!1! derp


              *oh your god, because I have none

              Comment


              • #82
                Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

                Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
                That just means someone is logged into her account, possibly a Pastor or some other system administrator, or OYG IT MIGHT BE JESUS!!!1! derp
                Most probably, Faith Machine is playing with Cookie's phone.
                God created fossils to test our faith.

                * * *

                My favorite LBC sermons:
                True Christians are Perfect!
                True Christian™ Love.
                Salvation™ made Easy!
                You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                God HATES Rational Thinking!
                True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                Comment


                • #83
                  Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

                  Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                  Most probably, Faith Machine is playing with Cookie's phone.
                  Brother Faith Machine, please let us hear from Mistress Cookie herself on her account!
                  "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

                  Comment


                  • #84
                    Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

                    Originally posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
                    I have just seen Mistress Cookie on these forums for the first time in months and it says she is modifying her post! Hallelujah, the Lord saw it fit to give her back to us!
                    It's probably that dumb old lady who's taken over her desk - what's her name? Granny July or something like that. I expect she'd be trying to hack into Mistress Cookie's account to figure out how things work. But I think she's too dumb to really succeed.
                    sigpic

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

                      Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post


                      *oh your god, because I have none

                      Funny how somebody with such large problems, such as having no God, no faith, no salvation, no King James Bible to give you succor, somebody like you, whose life is a complete hellbound mess, you have all this free time to spend worrying about me and my imagined wrongs.

                      Get right with Jesus, boy. Do it now!
                      WARNING:
                      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

                        From the Desk of
                        GRANNY JUNE
                        Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ


                        The church has asked me to write a memorandum to say let me look at my notes...to say the unfortunates known as Mistress Cookie and Brother F. Machine are facing being dropped from the church roll (roles?) call something something

                        Can't read this

                        Anyway, watercooler talk's I heard theres been sightings not holdups or anything but they're on the move and spotted at a Pentacostal handling of SNAKES. grainy, but Miss Cookie tried to bring .snake up to her throat BUT .....was hustled outthere's video frotage of it all and while the church sympathizes they are now out of Freehold jurystictionion for the moments time I think the long and short of it is if they're not back for a full accounting in 14 days yea the gates be forever closed on them forever so it is written in my notes

                        (insert scripture here)

                        Leviticus 24:14 Bring forth him that hath cursed without the camp; and let all that heard him lay their hands upon his head, and let all the congregation stone him.


                        call a pastor if you have a question i just work here Well, that's done. lunch
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                        Comment


                        • #87
                          Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

                          Yes, yes, we accidentally visited a Pentecostal church. But we got out of there and everything is fine. COMPLETELY FINE.

                          There is NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
                          WARNING:
                          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                          Comment


                          • #88
                            Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

                            From the Desk of
                            GRANNY JUNE
                            Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ


                            update: POLLY reminded me again the 14-day started running last Monday so that's6 days counting today sorry it was in the church bulletin board that counts as public notice

                            Possessions of Brother F. and Miss C. sold at auction on Day 15 (Wed?) Off-sets cost of 2 electronic notices and training me so church coffers untouched

                            Arrange property viewing thru me or polly at church offices polly is best


                            (insert scripture here)


                            Haggai 2:8 The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of hosts.


                            That is all questions in writing only please don't call
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                            • #89
                              Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

                              Firstly, asset forfeiture is un-American. Secondly, I am given to understand Miss Cookie is on her way home as we speak. Thirdly, being that my primary residence is still here in scenic Pacifica, California, you're going to have one heck of a time laying your hands on my property. Heck, I'd like to see you try.

                              WARNING:
                              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                              Comment


                              • #90
                                Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

                                sorry supposed to be in 1 post above (2nd notice) doesn't want to attach




                                (insert scripture here) take out this time
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