[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

A Christmas Carol (1984)

- Ebenezer Scrooge (who is a True Christian™ Godly Republican and hard working businessman) hires a Baptist exorcist who sends the 3 "ghosts" (read: demons) back to Hell where they belong, and continues practising his God-given right of treating his employees as he pleases.

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

Pinochino (1940)

Gepedo is caught by the townsmen, charged with witchcraft and burnt at the stake. Pinochino is chopped up as firewood.

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

Aladdin (1992)

Aladdin uses the mooselimb blue demon to wish what happens when you die. This results in Aladdin getting killed in a U.S airstrike against ISIS, goes to Hell and founds out that rather than becoming yet another human punching bag for Satan, he has been elected to become Osama bin Laden's own private Halal sex toy - for all eternity.

The movie ends as the demons of Hell drags Aladdin kicking and screaming into Osama's cell, the door is sealed shut and we hear a grim laugh from Osama saying "no more wishes left for you, Bubba"

[Prayer Warrior]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

A Christmas Carol (1984)

- Ebenezer Scrooge (who is a True Christian™ Godly Republican and hard working businessman) hires a Baptist exorcist who sends the 3 "ghosts" (read: demons) back to Hell where they belong, and continues practising his God-given right of treating his employees as he pleases.

That is the kind of alternative ending I would like to see. Most of the so called "conscience" representations that are depicted to children are actually demons in disguise. This is why it is crucially important that when the Bible and your conscience conflict each other, to ignore your conscience and only follow the Bible. Disney is trying to condition our children to become more susceptible to these demons.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Otherwise admirable Judge and deeply religious man, Frollo is lead astray by demonic witch Esmeralda. You can really see how deeply hurt he is by his temptation, and how he really wants her to "be his" eg. become his property in marriage.

A less Godly man would give into his temptation and try to use his power to have wicked, perverted acts with her outside of marriage, but he does the right thing by deciding to burn her for witchcraft. Thus removing any further possibility for temptation and saving countless other men's souls in the process.

Deformed and godless cripple, Quasimodo, (no doubt a curse from God for his unrepentant and numerous sins), despite Frollo's best efforts to convert Quasimodo, he is seduced by the witch Esmeralda, and his "gargoyles" (no doubt demons). Frollo burns down many houses, and Esmeralda happens to be one of the many burning houses and she is burned alive for Witchcraft. Quasimodo, tries to save her and is also burned alive in the process. Frollo, being the strong religious man that he is, casts the demonic gargoyles back down to Hell where they should have been in the first place.

Yes, Frollo burns a few other people in the process by burning the city of Paris to the ground.. But it's Paris! The majority of people there are probably perverts anyway. And as
Himself teaches us, what's a bit of collateral damage when we're talking about something as important as wiping out the wicked?

[Titus Templeton]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

I would rewrite the Titanic movie so that the only ones survive are Christians.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

The Lion King

As the sun rises on the pride lands, King Mufasa gathers all the wild animals together to witness the anointing of his cub and heir, Simba. Rafiki the baboon struts up to the cub to perform the blessing, and without warning is hit directly in the chest by a rocket propelled grenade, instantly transforming him and young Simba into a confetti of flesh, gristle and bone.

The onlooking animals bolt in terror, but they are quickly mowed down by the heavy guns of several Apache Attack Helicopters, which are emblazoned in military stencil with the words "Genesis 1:28", that seem to appear from nowhere.

"King" Mufasa, coward that he is, flees the massacre without a backward glance. He eludes justice for nearly a week, but is ultimately dispatched by a Reaper Drone armed with Hellfire missiles.

The End



Moral of this story:

There is only one King, and His name is JESUS. He sure as hell isn't going to play second fiddle to some damned cat!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

Raise the Red Lantern:

The third wife is still executed for adultery, but so is her doctor boyfriend (Leviticus 20:10). The second wife and the maid are executed for witchcraft (Exodus 22:18). The fourth wife still realizes that each woman is merely a "robe" that the master may wear and discard at his discretion, but also realizes that that's just what God wants (Ephesians 5:22).

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

Miracle on 34th Street

A foul smelling old man who believes he is Santa Claus is proven beyond the shadow of a reasonable doubt in a court of law that he is just some random bum with schizophrenia, and is being puppeteered by lucifer in a vain attempt to ruin Baby Jesus' birthday. "Santa", upon hearing the verdict, grabs the bailiff's gun and shoots his lawyer in the head. The old man is subdued, shackled in irons and taken to a facility for the criminally insane and given a prefrontal lobotomy.

Later the same day, Jesus returns as promised, and through the zeal of His (ironically) Joo lawyer, He is proven to be the Son of God, God Himself, and the Savior of all mankind. He then fulfills prophecy by destroying the planet.

The End

[OverlyAttachedJaviera]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

I would rewrite the Titanic movie so that the only ones survive are Christians.

That movie is based in true events, if you change it, it wouldn't be true anymore

[Basilissa]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

That movie is based in true events, if you change it, it wouldn't be true anymore

Do you actually think that the Titanic movie represents history accurately? Think again, sweetie.


Back to the subject:

The Theory of Everything, 2014

When Stephen is diagnosed with the motor neuron disease, Jane realizes that it is a punishement from God. She knows that if Stephen is born again, God will miraculously cure the disease. She begs Stephen to repent and accept Jesus. However, Stephen keeps to mock God with his atheism and cosmology (which isn't even a real science). He dies in pain within two years of the diagnosis and goes straight to Hell.

Jane never gets married with Stephen, doesn't meet Jonathan, but instead marries a Baptist Pastor, and fulfills her role as a woman by giving birth to seven healthy sons and an undetermined amount of daughters. Naturally, her husband does not allow her to pursue her Ph.D. in Spanish medieval poetry, as woman's place is at home, and not at a university.

[OverlyAttachedJaviera]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

Do you actually think that the Titanic movie represents history accurately? Think again, sweetie.

How curious, I was gonna ask you the same thing about Bible, that thing is just a recopilation of stupid stories from the imagination of lots of probably drunk men, is not History

[Basilissa]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

How curious, I was gonna ask you the same thing about Bible, that thing is just a recopilation of stupid stories from the imagination of lots of probably drunk men, is not History

My dear, 1/3 of human population today (and billions of people who lived over thousands of years) believe Bible to be inspired by God. Can you show me any people claiming that Titanic movie was inspired by God?

[OverlyAttachedJaviera]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

My dear, 1/3 of human population today (and billions of people who lived over thousands of years) believe Bible to be inspired by God. Can you show me any people claiming that Titanic movie was inspired by God?

Why everything must be inspired by God? After all you don't see him, the only thing you see is the devil, you see perversion everywhere and in everyone, you don't see beauty

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

Why everything must be inspired by God? After all you don't see him, the only thing you see is the devil, you see perversion everywhere and in everyone, you don't see beauty

Says who? Please be specific. Making up lies and slandering the good name of True Christians(tm) will not be tolerated.

[Basilissa]

Re: Movies that would be Godly if given TC™ Alternative Endings

Why everything must be inspired by God? After all you don't see him,

I don't understand your logic.

1) You said that Bible was just "stupid stories" (your words, not mine).
2) The Bible is the only source of our knowledge about God.
3) We preach the Bible all the time.

Therefore, we see God in all His splendor, while you have nothing - no evidence of God's will, no evidence of His existence.

the only thing you see is the devil, you see perversion everywhere and in everyone, you don't see beauty

The devil can only exist if God exists. Therefore, by acknowledging the existence of the devil we acknowledge the existence of God.

And we see beauty all over God's Word! That's why we are so eager to share the Holy Bible with everybody!

I hope that helps.