Greetings from Grandma!

[Grandma]

Hello! I am a grandma of 8 grandchildren. I have tried to teach my grandchildren the True Christian™ way, but my children have abandoned their beliefs after being fed propaganda by the liebral media and/or have been seduced by New Age pagan witches. They have moved to non-Godly areas of America such as the Northeast and Left Coast, and abandoned me. Now I live among fellow True Christians™ in the Godly South. I go to Church everyday, I volunteer in Church services, I read the Bible, and I teach the good children as a substitute at a Godly private school untouched by the liebral agenda.

Feel free to ask Grandma any questions!

[Basilissa]

Re: Greetings from Grandma!

Hello! I am a grandma of 8 grandchildren. I have tried to teach my grandchildren the True Christian™ way, but my children have abandoned their beliefs after being fed propaganda by the liebral media and/or have been seduced by New Age pagan witches. They have moved to non-Godly areas of America such as the Northeast and Left Coast, and abandoned me. Now I live among fellow True Christians™ in the Godly South. I go to Church everyday, I volunteer in Church services, I read the Bible, and I teach the good children as a substitute at a Godly private school untouched by the liebral agenda.

Feel free to ask Grandma any questions!

Hi sweetie, and to our Godly forum! How about answering these questions:

Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

I put them in big bright letters because apparently your old age made it difficult to see letters on the top of this page.

[Grandma]

Re: Greetings from Grandma!

Hi sweetie, and to our Godly forum! How about answering these questions:

Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

I put them in big bright letters because apparently your old age made it difficult to see letters on the top of this page.

I go to the Best Church™, Landover! My favorite Bible verse is Jeremiah 29:11. I came to find Jesus my good True Christian™ parents homeschooled me to teach His way. We also went to Church regularly. I spent most of my spare time as a child reading the Bible.

[Basilissa]

Re: Greetings from Grandma!

I go to the Best Church™, Landover!

Now I am truly intrigued, where in the south is that church of yours that has the same name as our Godly congregation? (Because I do know you are not in our Landover Baptist church).

You aren't one of these deceitful people who lie on the internet, are you?

My favorite Bible verse is Jeremiah 29:11.

I like Jeremiah, too. It often shows that our God is not some sort of a softie but a real, angry God (Jeremiah 33:5) who deceives His enemies (Jeremiah 4:10).

I came to find Jesus my good True Christian™ parents homeschooled me to teach His way. We also went to Church regularly. I spent most of my spare time as a child reading the Bible.

Good for you, sweetie. I look forward to reading more of your deep knowledge of the Holy Bible.

[Grandma]

Re: Greetings from Grandma!

Now I am truly intrigued, where in the south is that church of yours that has the same name as our Godly congregation? (Because I do know you are not in our Landover Baptist church).

You aren't one of these deceitful people who lie on the internet, are you?

I did not know that my superiors were lying to me. They stole the name of this great Church, and then claimed that it was another congregation. How can I join the True, Legitimate Landover Baptist Church?

[Basilissa]

Re: Greetings from Grandma!

I did not know that my superiors were lying to me. They stole the name of this great Church, and then claimed that it was another congregation. How can I join the True, Legitimate Landover Baptist Church?

In time, our Department of Faith will find out everything important about you. Just remember, we receive many applications daily so it may take some time.



In the meantime, post wisely!

[ProudAmerican316]

Re: Greetings from Grandma!

I did not know that my superiors were lying to me. They stole the name of this great Church, and then claimed that it was another congregation. How can I join the True, Legitimate Landover Baptist Church?

Help Ma'm I my self am also new here, It is inspiring to see someone of your age here to help the lost find their ways. I hope you would share experiences and advice for us younger ones to help let the LORD guide our life!

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Greetings from Grandma!

I did not know that my superiors were lying to me. They stole the name of this great Church, and then claimed that it was another congregation. How can I join the True, Legitimate Landover Baptist Church?

Hello TrueChristianGrandma.

Many Pastors lie but not the ones here they tell the truth because Jesus told us not to lie in the Ten Commandments they are in Exodus and Deuteronomy.

Moses climbed Mount Sinai and stayed for 40 days and 40 nights and came down with two tablets that God had written the Ten Commandments on with His finger so you know He is strong.

Moses broke the tablets because when he came down from Mount Sinai people were dancing around a golden calf that was made out of earrings they were naked too.

Thank you.

Rusty

[Youth Minister Harry]

Re: Greetings from Grandma!

Welcome to God's Favorite Forums(tm), Grandma! I just know Christ Jesus has led you here for a reason. Perhaps the deceit you've experienced in your previous places of worship served to direct you here! God works in such mysterious ways!

I understand your grand-boys are being led astray by their demon-possessed parents. The 2016 Spring Has Sprung All Boys Revival Tour is just around the corner! We'll be Christ-Crossing the nation looking for young men to lure to Jesus and we'll definitely add your youngsters to the list! They aren't "husky" are they?

Praise Jesus!

[James Hutchins]

Re: Greetings from Grandma!

Welcome young lady, please put your husband on so a real conversation can take place. Thank you. Also, bring me a snack.

[Titus Templeton]

Re: Greetings from Grandma!

What is your best pie, Grandma?

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Greetings from Grandma!

A rousing HELLO, Grandma!

As a young, unmarried man, I learn much from my elders in the faith. Some have been around since Methuselah in this place. Nowhere will you find the TRUTH about serving the LORD like you will find in these inspired forums. In fact, if God hadn't already written the Bible, I truly believe He would have used some of the writings of the True Christian(TM) people from Landover Baptist Church.

You don't, by any chance, have any unmarried granddaughters, do you? They must be appealing to the eye, submissive, fabulous cooks, and able to remain quiet for long periods of time. They must also not crave s-e-x other than for the purposes of becoming "pg." (Sorry, good ladies, for my forward comments)

Tell us of your husbandman and a bit more about the day you decided your sinful, lustful, filthy soul deserved a thorough cleansing using Christ's Blood(TM) as the everlasting detergent. I never shall forget the day when He entered me as I was crying out to Him; a wretched papist I was, but His saving power made me toss aside all the rosaries and crucifixes (He is OFF the cross, Hallelujah!) and depend on JESUS to save me and not the ritual absolving that came from the pedophile priests of my parish. Heaven rejoices when a cathylick becomes a real Christian.

COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry

[Grandma]

Re: Greetings from Grandma!

A rousing HELLO, Grandma!

As a young, unmarried man, I learn much from my elders in the faith. Some have been around since Methuselah in this place. Nowhere will you find the TRUTH about serving the LORD like you will find in these inspired forums. In fact, if God hadn't already written the Bible, I truly believe He would have used some of the writings of the True Christian™ people from Landover Baptist Church.

You don't, by any chance, have any unmarried granddaughters, do you? They must be appealing to the eye, submissive, fabulous cooks, and able to remain quiet for long periods of time. They must also not crave s-e-x other than for the purposes of becoming "pg." (Sorry, good ladies, for my forward comments)

Tell us of your husbandman and a bit more about the day you decided your sinful, lustful, filthy soul deserved a thorough cleansing using Christ's Blood™ as the everlasting detergent. I never shall forget the day when He entered me as I was crying out to Him; a wretched papist I was, but His saving power made me toss aside all the rosaries and crucifixes (He is OFF the cross, Hallelujah!) and depend on JESUS to save me and not the ritual absolving that came from the pedophile priests of my parish. Heaven rejoices when a cathylick becomes a real Christian.

COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry

My dear husband died after contracting HIV when a fag donated blood to him.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Greetings from Grandma!

I'm so sorry Ma'am. Goes to show that God's wrath upon those homos is mighty, that he indirectly struck your poor husband and now has a death upon the gay "man"'s soul. Tell me about your cooking, Grandma!

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Greetings from Grandma!

My dear husband died after contracting HIV when a fag donated blood to him.

That disease is sort of like the Aids. It is a punishment sent by God to scourge the wicked and sinful. It is not got by accident. What sinful behavior was your husband involved in?