[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Sinner on board

Des... Calling an Englishman "British" is like calling a Canadian "American".

It's a fact that Canadians interpret being mistaken for Americans a compliment. It's the national version of calling a plane jane "beautiful." This is why they work so hard at imitating our accent, style, and basically, everything that denotes Freedom. I think they like it especially now because the have the worlds most embarrassing Prime Minister, one who shamelessly flaunts the Liberal Agenda, and whose "witty repartee" is limited to such quips as, "Because it's 2015."

[Basilissa]

Re: Sinner on board

Unfortunately it has been a few years since I last went to church and am unsure which I should attend. Are the Catholics okay?

Nope. They aren't even Christians!

[Des]

Re: Sinner on board

Oh mercy! Now that I've composed myself, I do believe the poor sod was being serious.

No my misguided scone muncher, the catkicks are definitely not okay. They worship statues and whores, false idols. Read Exodus 20:4-6 for an educational primer on that subject.

And the church of England is no better. They are basically catlicks without the pope because one of the kings over there, Herman or Boy George or Henry, I can never remember which, was a promiscuous deviant who thought sacred marital vows before God were Kleenex to be used & disposed of frequently.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Sinner on board

We'll have you properly hating gays and campaigning for capital punishment for it in no time. Just follow the word of the LORD.

[magnus allen]

Re: Sinner on board

Dear , Owen

How nice of you to visit us. Of course, this is no coincidence. Jesus often guides sinners to our Forum to show them the correct ways of Worship and Repentance and we are most graceful hosts!

Hebrews 13:2
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

As you might have noticed, we belong to the Baptist True Christian™ denomination. What do you belong to and how did Jesus enter your life? Have you attempts at begetting been successful so far?


Yours in Christ,

Magnus

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Sinner on board

What's with this "we" stuff, Mr. Allen?

Are you seriously considering putting away your foul, sinful ways and joining the Body of Christ, where we wait with eager anticipation the return of our LORD, ready to wage battle upon the heathen from the skies (Revelation 19:14)?

[Basilissa]

Re: Sinner on board

Dear , Owen

How nice of you to visit us. Of course, this is no coincidence. Jesus often guides sinners to our Forum to show them the correct ways of Worship and Repentance and we are most graceful hosts!

Hebrews 13:2
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

As you might have noticed, we belong to the Baptist True Christian™ denomination. What do you belong to and how did Jesus enter your life? Have you attempts at begetting been successful so far?


Yours in Christ,

Magnus

Sweetie,


while I agree with you that Brother Elmer White is a great example to follow, plagiarizing his entire post is not really a great way to do it.


How dumb are you, anyway, that you cannot come up with stuff of your own?


Here is a book you might enjoy, if someone reads it and eplains it to you:

[ThatGeekOwen]

Re: Sinner on board

Thank you all for your kind words of welcome. I feel I have found a place where I can truly come to know Jesus and accept him into my heart. I am studying the Bible more, but I am unsure which version of the infallible word of God I am meant to be using.

[Des]

Re: Sinner on board

Thank you all for your kind words of welcome. I feel I have found a place where I can truly come to know Jesus and accept him into my heart. I am studying the Bible more, but I am unsure which version of the infallible word of God I am meant to be using.

Friend, I was a revival preacher before I discovered Landover Baptist. I talked with the and good Pastors here for many a month and learned at their feet. It was LBC that taught me the riches of God's Kingdom were not to be had in tents, but by setting up stake with like minded seekers of Divine Treasure. And that treasure was to be found in spades here.

I thought before that I knew it all, the Bible cover to cover. But what I knew about the true nature of God was but a shadow of the knowledge to be gained in the gilded pews of LBC. You'll be richer for it, and in return will make the whole world richer too.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Sinner on board

Thank you all for your kind words of welcome. I feel I have found a place where I can truly come to know Jesus and accept him into my heart. I am studying the Bible more, but I am unsure which version of the infallible word of God I am meant to be using.

I'm a little confused I have to say.

There is only one Bible and that is the Bible(KJV1611). All the others are obvious mistranslations, interpretations and lies made by forigners to make good Christians look bad.

I hope that clears that up for you.

YIC

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Sinner on board

Owen, I am going to say this only once. If you are jerking our chain, if you turn out to be some faker who breaks my pastor's heart...

Well, let's just say God is a lot more forgiving than I am, and leave it at that.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Sinner on board

Thank you all for your kind words of welcome. I feel I have found a place where I can truly come to know Jesus and accept him into my heart. I am studying the Bible more, but I am unsure which version of the infallible word of God I am meant to be using.

Let me offer you a provisional welcome to this Godly forum, Owen. We are Christian here and friendly. In fact, we are the friendliest and most welcoming site on the interwebs. All Christians are wanted here for fellowship and praise.


Sadly, Christians seem scarce these days. Most who come here turn out to be heathen wretches. I see that you are from godless England. Worse, you bear a Welsh name. The Welsh are known to be a gin besotted race of cattle thieves, brigands and Democrats. It would be wonderful to find a Christian in such a tribe, but we here have never met one. You may be the first. What say you?


God Bless!