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  • calle_falsa
    Unsaved trash, teenaged godmocker, filthy spic
    • Feb 2011
    • 50

    #1

    Wandering Sheep...

    I feel lost. I want to understand and to believe and, eventhoug I'm spanish and might not communicate properly (I beg your pardonand patience if I don't make myself clear), I would like to apply for your help and guidance.
    I just want to understand you because I want to feel happiness everyday of my life and you claim to be like that and... I can't. Please, help me. If you could be so kind to answer my questions I would be really grateful.

    But, please, don't think ill of me. I'm not a troll, nor satanic nor anything like that. Please, don't ignore me or think I'm teasing you, I'm seeking the best way of living.
    what? you don't have enough with your own signature? Greed is a capital sin ò.ó
  • Brother Enoch
    The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
    True Christian™
    • Jun 2008
    • 4392

    #2
    Re: Wandering Sheep...

    Welcome, TruthOrLight. I have to admit I'm a bit confused about your username. Light is Truth, Truth is Light. They aren't mutually exclusive. In fact, it's quite the opposite; you can't have one without the other. Shouldn't your username be TruthAndLight or TruthIsLight?

    Anyway, a little more about you please.

    You say you live in Spain. Why? Are you married? How many sons has your wife borne you? What is the best pie your wife/momma makes? Why do you enjoy torturing your future hamburgers? Why do your fishing fleets rape the world's oceans? And most importantly, what is your favorite verse in the KJV Bible?

    And again, welcome.

    Comment

    • Gabriel Reproba
      Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
      The Most Honest Lawyer in America
      True Christian™
      • Nov 2009
      • 2479

      #3
      Re: Wandering Sheep...

      That you WANT to believe is the best start that you could make on your path to discovering what Christianity is really all about. WANTING to believe is almost as good as believing. Tell us more about yourself so we can change your "want" in to "do."
      Yours In Christ,

      Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

      Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

      Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
      Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
      The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
      Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
      How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
      20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
      God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
      Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
      Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
      Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
      There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
      Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

      Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

      Comment

      • calle_falsa
        Unsaved trash, teenaged godmocker, filthy spic
        • Feb 2011
        • 50

        #4
        Re: Wandering Sheep...

        Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post
        Welcome, TruthOrLight. I have to admit I'm a bit confused about your username. Light is Truth, Truth is Light. They aren't mutually exclusive. In fact, it's quite the opposite; you can't have one without the other. Shouldn't your username be TruthAndLight or TruthIsLight?

        Anyway, a little more about you please.

        You say you live in Spain. Why? Are you married? How many sons has your wife borne you? What is the best pie your wife/momma makes? Why do you enjoy torturing your future hamburgers? Why do your fishing fleets rape the world's oceans? And most importantly, what is your favorite verse in the KJV Bible?

        And again, welcome.
        Well, I'll try to clarify some things before star telling more about myself, that way we won't be pilling up information.
        First of all, I live in Spain because I'm Spanish. I was born in Madrid and live in a town close to it.
        I'm not married, not a chance. I am 18 now but marriage is still a long way away from me. I could have find someone I would like to spen my whole life, but she didn't. Nevermind about that, we could talk about love some other time.
        As for my user name, it comes precisely from my doubt. I can't say "Truth is Light and Light is Truth". I just can't. What is Light? What is Truth? Where are they? Is the Truth hidden in the darkness or in blinding light? It's because of my doubts, my ignorance you could say.
        Others: Could you please explain what "your future hamburgers" and "your fishing fleets rape the world's oceans" mean? And sorry for my poor skills.

        And... here it's 00:30 and I have lessons tomorrow so... I'm off to bed now, I'll be back tomorrow again and keep the conversations.
        what? you don't have enough with your own signature? Greed is a capital sin ò.ó

        Comment

        • Master Gordon
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Jun 2010
          • 376

          #5
          Re: Wandering Sheep...

          Hmmmm 18 and not married my wife Sarah was 16 when we married and by the time she was 18 we had 2 children. Sarah is a good Christian wife and mother.
          sigpic
          Remember this one thing brothers and sisters: KJV Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returneth to his vomit,
          so a fool returneth to his folly

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78556

            #6
            Re: Wandering Sheep...

            Originally posted by TruthOrLight? View Post
            I feel lost. I want to understand and to believe and, eventhoug I'm spanish and might not communicate properly (I beg your pardonand patience if I don't make myself clear), I would like to apply for your help and guidance.
            I just want to understand you because I want to feel happiness everyday of my life and you claim to be like that and... I can't. Please, help me. If you could be so kind to answer my questions I would be really grateful.

            But, please, don't think ill of me. I'm not a troll, nor satanic nor anything like that. Please, don't ignore me or think I'm teasing you, I'm seeking the best way of living.
            If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

            If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

            You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

            Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • landoverlover
              Also loves Jesus and America
              True Christian™
              • Jul 2010
              • 828

              #7
              Re: Wandering Sheep...

              Originally posted by TruthOrLight? View Post
              I feel lost. I want to understand and to believe and, eventhoug I'm spanish and might not communicate properly (I beg your pardonand patience if I don't make myself clear), I would like to apply for your help and guidance.
              I just want to understand you because I want to feel happiness everyday of my life and you claim to be like that and... I can't. Please, help me. If you could be so kind to answer my questions I would be really grateful.

              But, please, don't think ill of me. I'm not a troll, nor satanic nor anything like that. Please, don't ignore me or think I'm teasing you, I'm seeking the best way of living.
              Friend, where in the Bible did you read that being a Christian gives you happiness every day? The Bible teaches us that the Lord causes the rain to fall and the sun to shine on the wicked and just alike. What do you think is the purpose of FAITH? If your life is full of happiness why would anyone need God's help? This sinful world is the dominion of satan, and even for the most dedicated Christians' life can be full of misery, pain, and poverty. Please study the story of Job and the fate of many of God's prophets. Faith is what helps us cope with these problems - as our reward will come after death, not during this life of trial. The Lord rewards those who suffer in His name.

              I don't know the precise translation into Spanish of "Cowboy up" but that's what you must do.
              Leviticus 13:44 He is a leprous man, he is UNCLEAN: the priest shall pronounce him utterly UNCLEAN; his plague is in his head.

              2 Kings 6:25 And there was a great famine in Samaria: and, behold, they besieged it, until an ass's head was sold for fourscore pieces of silver, and the fourth part of a cab of dove's dung for five pieces of silver.



              King James Bible v1611

              Good Enough For JESUS....Good Enough For Me !!

              sigpic

              Comment

              • calle_falsa
                Unsaved trash, teenaged godmocker, filthy spic
                • Feb 2011
                • 50

                #8
                Re: Wandering Sheep...

                Originally posted by Master Gordon View Post
                Hmmmm 18 and not married my wife Sarah was 16 when we married and by the time she was 18 we had 2 children. Sarah is a good Christian wife and mother.
                Are you trying to say that not being married at 18 is somehow bad?
                what? you don't have enough with your own signature? Greed is a capital sin ò.ó

                Comment

                • calle_falsa
                  Unsaved trash, teenaged godmocker, filthy spic
                  • Feb 2011
                  • 50

                  #9
                  Re: Wandering Sheep...

                  Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                  If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

                  If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

                  You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

                  Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
                  Interesting welcome. Why did you bother giving me a link with my unexistent rights? And you say it as if you were laughing at me with the "If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once" stuff. Is that what your religion make of people? To declare those who aren't like you trash with no rigths? I hope it doesn't. I hope it's my low understanding ability.
                  May I ask you something? What is "God's Divine Plan" about? never heard of it before.
                  what? you don't have enough with your own signature? Greed is a capital sin ò.ó

                  Comment

                  • Cranky Old Man
                    Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                    You kids get off his lawn!
                     
                    • Jan 2010
                    • 22380

                    #10
                    Re: Wandering Sheep...

                    Originally posted by TruthOrLight? View Post
                    I hope it's my low understanding ability.
                    Yes it is.
                    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                    Comment

                    • calle_falsa
                      Unsaved trash, teenaged godmocker, filthy spic
                      • Feb 2011
                      • 50

                      #11
                      Re: Wandering Sheep...

                      Originally posted by landoverlover View Post
                      Friend, where in the Bible did you read that being a Christian gives you happiness every day? The Bible teaches us that the Lord causes the rain to fall and the sun to shine on the wicked and just alike. What do you think is the purpose of FAITH? If your life is full of happiness why would anyone need God's help? This sinful world is the dominion of satan, and even for the most dedicated Christians' life can be full of misery, pain, and poverty. Please study the story of Job and the fate of many of God's prophets. Faith is what helps us cope with these problems - as our reward will come after death, not during this life of trial. The Lord rewards those who suffer in His name.

                      I don't know the precise translation into Spanish of "Cowboy up" but that's what you must do.
                      If the Bible teaches you that the Lord causes the rain to fall and the sun to shine... how can I tell you it's not the Lord... well, I'm sure even a primary boy would be able to teach you a thing or two about the water vaporizing because of the sun's heat and contact with the air, turning then into big, white clouds on the sky above our heads and raining down later becoming water again. As for the sun, it's because of Hydrogen turning into Helium due to nuclear fusion. Do not try to deny these facts, they're proved.
                      Faith. That is surely interesting. From your speech I asume(sp?) you are the perfect example of poverty, humblity and misery but it is your faith in an afterlife reward what gives you the stregth to go on. Am I correct?
                      You say that "happiness" is a sinful word of Satan. Do you really think that? If so, what can provide God if not happiness? I think happiness is essential in a good (after)life...
                      what? you don't have enough with your own signature? Greed is a capital sin ò.ó

                      Comment

                      • James Hutchins
                        True Christian™
                        Just a Regular Nice Guy
                         
                        • Jun 2009
                        • 29457

                        #12
                        Re: Wandering Sheep...

                        TruthorLight, we want to help you but you have to also help us help you. We are not God. We are not Almighty We do not have all the answers. But God is and does.

                        Read your KJV Bible Read all of it. Know that if you want to join God in His Kingdom in the Heavens(c), you must follow His Divine Word(r). God expects you to live EXACTLY as he prescribes. Every True Christian(tm) does.
                        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                        Comment

                        • calle_falsa
                          Unsaved trash, teenaged godmocker, filthy spic
                          • Feb 2011
                          • 50

                          #13
                          Re: Wandering Sheep...

                          Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                          Yes it is.
                          Then, I would thank you if you could put it simplier, as if you were talking to a child, please.
                          what? you don't have enough with your own signature? Greed is a capital sin ò.ó

                          Comment

                          • Cranky Old Man
                            Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                            You kids get off his lawn!
                             
                            • Jan 2010
                            • 22380

                            #14
                            Re: Wandering Sheep...

                            Originally posted by TruthOrLight? View Post
                            Then, I would thank you if you could put it simplier, as if you were talking to a child, please.
                            Stop sinning. Read Bible.
                            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                            Comment

                            • Ezekiel Bathfire
                              Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                              Christ's Rottweiler
                               
                              • Jan 2008
                              • 22922

                              #15
                              Re: Wandering Sheep...

                              Well it is a little late and your biological clock is ticking. Yes, I know God gave Sarai a pregnancy when she was 100 but that was a special case.
                              sigpic


                              “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                              Author of such illuminating essays as,
                              Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                              Comment

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