[True Viking]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

My dear friend, take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Take another deep breath, and let it out slowly as well. Then stop chewing on your keyboard and thrashing the wall with your battleaxe, and get yourself a glass of water, and drain it calmly. Then return to your computer, and don't forget that Caps Lock Day was yesterday, so you can put it off again.

WATER? WHAT IS THIS WATER YOU SPEAK OF? WE DRINK ONLY MUD. AND HORSE URINE.

Though I am glad you admit we are right about your iceclump being a demon infested eskimo hellhole, we frown upon idol worship here, boy.

AND I FROWN UPON YOUR SON OF GOD. BECAUSE I AM A HERETIC BEYOND SALVATION. RAAAAH.

That's terrible. Why are you a hateful satanist?

I DON'T RIGHTFULLY KNOW. IT MUST HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT I HAVE NO INTERNAL ORGANS. ONLY HATE AND BLOODTHIRST.

Is it true that you frequently have intercourse with polar bears?

I PREFER TO USE THE PHRASE "MAKE LOVE" TO POLAR BEARS. AND FREQUENTLY IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT.

[True Viking]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

Indeed. I live in a spacious, well-built house above ground. You live in a subterranean hovel.

Typical Icelandic subterranean hovels


I pity you and don't blame you for being so hostile. I would be bitter as well if I needed a ladder to mow the lawn.

WAAAAAGH. YOU HAVE A TRADITIONAL NORSE NAME OF "HATCHET". ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE ALIGNED WITH THIS SISSY RELIGION? ALSO, WE DON'T USE THESE "LADDERS". WE USE THE BONES OF OUR DEAD. AND WE MOW OUR LAWNS WITH OUT TEETH.

[True Disciple]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

WATER? WHAT IS THIS WATER YOU SPEAK OF? WE DRINK ONLY MUD. AND HORSE URINE.

That might explain a lot about your behaviour. There are some possible psychedelic substances among the chemicals you can find in horse urine.

You know, kid, you know how to make fire, don't you? If you do, try to warm up a block of ice. You will notice that it starts dripping a transparent fluid. This fluid, we call "water." If you drink that, you might calm down a little bit.

AND I FROWN UPON YOUR SON OF GOD. BECAUSE I AM A HERETIC BEYOND SALVATION. RAAAAH.

Yes, yes, we know that. You're a very brave viking, aren't you?

I DON'T RIGHTFULLY KNOW. IT MUST HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT I HAVE NO INTERNAL ORGANS. ONLY HATE AND BLOODTHIRST.

If you are interested, here at Landover we have some very skilled exorcists at the Creation Science Lab, who are eager to chase the demons out of your rectum, and fill your body not only with intestines, but with the Holy Ghost as well. Doesn't that sound great, boy?

I PREFER TO USE THE PHRASE "MAKE LOVE" TO POLAR BEARS. AND FREQUENTLY IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT.

Ok, just wanted to know that for sure.

I have another question: is it because demons possess your keyboard that you are unable to press the Caps Lock key again?

[Heilagur Andi]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

Okay wow ive read all the forum. Get your facts straight!!! i live in iceland so i know everything about this.
icelandic people dont belive in the eddas. It is a story. Only like 30 people in all iceland actually do and they are all 80 year old lunatics living alone having nothing else to do.

I have also lived there an most of you believe in elfs and other fairytale creatures.

We are not eskimoes. Eskimoes live in Greenland. Something went wrong and they mixed up the names. Greenland is covered in ice and iceland is green. The guy that named iceland came during WINTER!!! so it was snowing so he named it iceland. We are tought this in school its the history. Iceland is green.....

I thing you would be better of if you were eskimos, they are at least honest people. And no Iceland is not green exempt for the months of july and August.

Also what the hell is this penis museum? ive never heard of it and i live in iceland. Its probably some place built as a joke.

Look it up its no joke its called Reðursafnið and is in Húsavík

Also our president is not a woman lesbian.... We HAD!!! a whoman president though bur now our president is Olafur Ragnar Grimsson. There is one whoman lesbian though in the government politics but no one likes her anyway.... actually the government pretty much sucks at the moment and everyone is trying to fix it. God did not cause the bankrupcy it was a group of people. Criminals!!!! not god.

Jóhanna is your Prime Minister and has similar powers as the president in the US, if you don't like her why did you people elect her?

also religion should die. Religion kills alot of people. 9/11 was all about religion. Every war in the world has roots to religion.

Not WW1 and WW2. Christianity saves lives and souls every day.

[James Hutchins]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

Andi, you must be the one icelander who kept thier face out of the grog and into the sunshine God provided.
I feel for you, being surrounded by these mostly illiterate children. They all act as if they are 12.

[True Viking]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

That might explain a lot about your behaviour. There are some possible psychedelic substances among the chemicals you can find in horse urine.

You know, kid, you know how to make fire, don't you? If you do, try to warm up a block of ice. You will notice that it starts dripping a transparent fluid. This fluid, we call "water." If you drink that, you might calm down a little bit.

SURE WE KNOW HOW TO MAKE FIRE. WE APPLY IT EVERY DAY TO THE VILLAGES OF NORTHERN ENGLAND! WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO MELT ICE, THOUGH? IT IS THE #1 MATERIAL FOR HOUSE CONSTRUCTION. AND THIS "WATER" YOU SPEAK OF, IT SOUNDS SISSY.

Yes, yes, we know that. You're a very brave viking, aren't you?

I AM THE BRAVEST THERE IS.

If you are interested, here at Landover we have some very skilled exorcists at the Creation Science Lab, who are eager to chase the demons out of your rectum, and fill your body not only with intestines, but with the Holy Ghost as well. Doesn't that sound great, boy?

I THINK I WILL HAVE TO TAKE A PASS. MY DEMON WORSHIPING HAS LED ME BEYOND SALVATION AND AN EXORCISM WOULD ONLY BE A WASTE OF YOUR TIME AND MINE.

I have another question: is it because demons possess your keyboard that you are unable to press the Caps Lock key again?

THE ALMIGHTY THOR/SATAN WILL SMITE US DOWN WITH FURIOUS LIGHTNING IF WE SO MUCH AS GLANCE AT THE CAPS LOCK KEY. IF WE ARE SMITTEN DOWN, WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO CONTINUE OUR EVIL SAVAGERY.

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

WE DON'T USE THESE "LADDERS". WE USE THE BONES OF OUR DEAD. AND WE MOW OUR LAWNS WITH OUT TEETH.

It's good to have roughage in the diet, son. As frightening as you are, I give thanks to GOD that you have found our forum; now I know that there is such a creature as the "honest Eskimo".

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

WAAAAAGH. YOU HAVE A TRADITIONAL NORSE NAME OF "HATCHET". ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE ALIGNED WITH THIS SISSY RELIGION? ALSO, WE DON'T USE THESE "LADDERS". WE USE THE BONES OF OUR DEAD. AND WE MOW OUR LAWNS WITH OUT TEETH.

My name is not Norse, you savage. It's an English name that comes from Old French. Of course, the French prestole it from the English, and the English prestole it from the Godly Americans.

By the way, you should class up your rooftop with some lawn ornaments.



Jesus,

I know you only gave Americans the sensibility and refined taste to put pink flamingos on lawns. Please help these Icelandic savages have a bit of style so that I may more easily look upon their hovels.

Amen.

[True Viking]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

It's good to have roughage in the diet, son. As frightening as you are, I give thanks to GOD that you have found our forum; now I know that there is such a creature as the "honest Eskimo".

AND I GIVE PRAISE TO ODIN THAT I FOUND THIS FORUM BEFORE THE WIMPS EARLIER IN THIS THREAD TARNISHED OUR REPUTATION COMPLETELY.

[True Viking]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

My name is not Norse, you savage. It's an English name that comes from--as much as it pains me to admit--Old French. Of course, the French prestole it from the English, and the English prestole it from the Godly Americans.

By the way, you should class up your rooftop with some lawn ornaments.



Jesus,

I know you only gave Americans the sensibility and refined taste to put pink flamingos on lawns. Please help these Icelandic savages have a bit of style so that I may more easily look upon their hovels.

Amen.

THOSE WOULD GO GREAT WITH THE IMPALED SKULLS OF MY ENEMIES, THANKS FOR THE TIP. DO THESE "FLAMINGOS" COME IN ANY OTHER COLOUR, THOUGH? I WAS THINKING SOMETHING LIKE SATANIC BLACK OR HATE RED.

[Larry Lee]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

I AM THE BRAVEST THERE IS.

Woo hoo! You eat Hakarl. Have at it, kid.

[True Disciple]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

SURE WE KNOW HOW TO MAKE FIRE. WE APPLY IT EVERY DAY TO THE VILLAGES OF NORTHERN ENGLAND! WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO MELT ICE, THOUGH? IT IS THE #1 MATERIAL FOR HOUSE CONSTRUCTION. AND THIS "WATER" YOU SPEAK OF, IT SOUNDS SISSY.

Okay, okay, it was just a suggestion...

I AM THE BRAVEST THERE IS.

You are certainly a lot more brave and respectable than those lying eskimoes we had up until now, both betraying their own country and being unrepentant of the influence of their despicable culture upon our Godly Children.

I THINK I WILL HAVE TO TAKE A PASS. MY DEMON WORSHIPING HAS LED ME BEYOND SALVATION AND AN EXORCISM WOULD ONLY BE A WASTE OF YOUR TIME AND MINE.

That is really sad. I think you are the most civilized Icelandic viking we've had here so far. I will pray for your Salvation(tm), and I hope it happens before the volcanic disaster we pray for strikes your iceclump.

THE ALMIGHTY THOR/SATAN WILL SMITE US DOWN WITH FURIOUS LIGHTNING IF WE SO MUCH AS GLANCE AT THE CAPS LOCK KEY. IF WE ARE SMITTEN DOWN, WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO CONTINUE OUR EVIL SAVAGERY.

That is sad to hear. Do you realize that Jesus is stronger than Thor/Satan?

AND I GIVE PRAISE TO ODIN THAT I FOUND THIS FORUM BEFORE THE WIMPS EARLIER IN THIS THREAD TARNISHED OUR REPUTATION COMPLETELY.

Well, you are the first one improving your reputation a bit, as you at least are completely honest about your culture.

Another question: is it true that the skulls of rival vikings are the second most used building material for your igloes (ice being the first one)?

[Heilagur Andi]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

Andi, you must be the one icelander who kept thier face out of the grog and into the sunshine God provided.
I feel for you, being surrounded by these mostly illiterate children. They all act as if they are 12.

I am no Icelander please don't confuse me again with those small minded creatures, I just had the misfortune of having to work there for some time in the past.

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

THE ALMIGHTY THOR/SATAN WILL SMITE US DOWN WITH FURIOUS LIGHTNING IF WE SO MUCH AS GLANCE AT THE CAPS LOCK KEY. IF WE ARE SMITTEN DOWN, WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO CONTINUE OUR EVIL SAVAGERY.

Your command of the Caps Lock key could well be supernatural in origin; however it would be a type of demonic possession.

I am laying my hands on my monitor right now -- in the name of JESUS, I pray you find the strength to rebuke Satan yourself, and reign in that Caps Lock Fury.

[True Viking]

Re: God Hates Iceland!

Woo hoo! You eat Hakarl. Have at it, kid.

WILL DO. RAAAAAGH. RIP AND TEAR.

That is sad to hear. Do you realize that Jesus is stronger than Thor/Satan?

MY SMALL BRAIN DOES NOT COMPREHEND YOUR ATTEMPTS AT THEOLOGICAL DEBATE. TO ME, THERE IS ONLY ODIN!

Another question: is it true that the skulls of rival vikings are the second most used building material for your igloes (ice being the first one)?

THE SKULLS OF RIVAL VIKINGS ARE ACTUALLY RANKED THIRD, RIGHT BEHIND THOSE OF ENGLANDERS. THEY REALLY TICK US OFF, YOU KNOW? WITH THEIR "THEORIES OF EVOLUTION" AND "SCIENTIFIC PROGRESS". AS IF MAN DID NOT DESCEND FROM THE GREAT ASH TREE. I GUESS WE CAN ALL AGREE ON HATING THOSE GODLESS WIMPS, RIGHT?