Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > Pastor Zeke's News Wire
Reload this Page Dumb Cossack girl ignores God and damns self to Hell when given chance to go to Heaven in bear attack
Pastor Zeke's News Wire Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Redeemed Papist's Avatar
Redeemed Papist Redeemed Papist is offline
Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Friend of Jesus True Christian™ Ex-Masturbator Tell her once Flat Earth Porn Resistant Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Ex-eurotrash True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Punched the most queers Super Soaker Baptism Award TC Bravery True Scientist™ True Heterosexual™ Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Gold Tither Anti-sodomy Hands Off

 
Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Dumb Cossack girl ignores God and damns self to Hell when given chance to go to Heaven in bear attack - 08-19-2011, 11:31 AM

God doesn't often send a young person a cast iron chance to go to Heaven, let alone one that is almost directly from the pages of the good book!

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/...g-me-girl-told-

2 Kings 2:24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

Any good Christian girl would know that God is sending a pretty stern rebuke at the point when a bear attacks if they'd read their scripture. I guess we'll never know what sin this girl had committed with her father, as he had already been killed by the bear, but do you think she prayed to God?

No, like any godless teenage slut she phones her mother and starts whining about it and expecting her mother to be able to thwart God's will. I suppose her mother intervened to stop her father beating some sense into her as well.

So she phones her mother three times in total to whine about being eaten by the bears. You'd have thought she'd have got the message after the first call didn't work and got down on her knees and prayed to the Lord, but no! Her last message to her mother was
Quote:
“Mum, it’s not hurting anymore. I don’t feel the pain. Forgive me for everything, I love you so much.”
which begs the question of why she hadn't begged God for forgiveness for sinning against her mother in the first place and then she wouldn't have needed the wake up call from the bears. And still she didn't get it. How much more does God have to put Himself out in order to warn people?

But once again secularists will shake their heads and wonder how a caring God lets this sort of thing happen and fail to realise she brought it on herself with her sinning against her mother.



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
The truth about volcanos
Sex and debauchery in public schools
Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Gabriel Reproba's Avatar
Gabriel Reproba Gabriel Reproba is offline
Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
The Most Honest Lawyer in America
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ Tin Tither True Christian Provider™ award Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth The Lord’s Witness Wound Saved 1 Year The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Punched the most queers TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Public Awareness Medal True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Divorcee Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 2,471
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: God's Good Side!
Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Dumb Cossack girl ignores God and damns self to Hell when given chance to go to Heaven in bear attack - 08-19-2011, 06:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
No, like any godless teenage slut she phones her mother and starts whining about it and expecting her mother to be able to thwart God's will.
When I read this, it was awful. I mean...to be eaten alive over a whole hour and not once pray to Little Baby Jesus for forgiveness? Senseless! Plus she used up a ton of her Mother's cell phone minutes. Youth are so rude.


Yours In Christ,

Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ

 
Posts: 79,744
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Dumb Cossack girl ignores God and damns self to Hell when given chance to go to Heaven in bear attack - 08-19-2011, 11:23 PM

Typical papist. Wasting her last breath asking her mother for forgiveness instead of Jesus.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
bear rape, food for thought:let's eat!, god's wrath, russia, teenaged girls

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved