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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-27-2020, 08:09 AM

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Originally Posted by Des View Post
She married a yellow monkey, brother. Even a known predator has to be a step up.
It's true, I AM A PREDATOR! I am a sinner, and I have fallen short. I have missed the mark. I have allowed the lust within me to run wild like a ravenous beast.

My good friends in the Air National Guard are letting me hitch a ride to Des Moines International Airport in the morning. Can somebody come get me? I need to get to Freehold ASAP and submit myself to at least a Level 3 Rebuking Circle.


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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-27-2020, 10:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
It's true, I AM A PREDATOR! I am a sinner, and I have fallen short. I have missed the mark. I have allowed the lust within me to run wild like a ravenous beast.

My good friends in the Air National Guard are letting me hitch a ride to Des Moines International Airport in the morning. Can somebody come get me? I need to get to Freehold ASAP and submit myself to at least a Level 3 Rebuking Circle.
Thoughts and Prayers


Phil


PS have cast your vote already? If not, I'm sure that Mayor Johny can make sure that President Trump receives your vote through the Freehold ballot box during this difficult personal time.


58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bringk upon thee, until thou be destroyed.


Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-27-2020, 12:43 PM

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Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
It's true, I AM A PREDATOR! I am a sinner, and I have fallen short. I have missed the mark. I have allowed the lust within me to run wild like a ravenous beast.

My good friends in the Air National Guard are letting me hitch a ride to Des Moines International Airport in the morning. Can somebody come get me? I need to get to Freehold ASAP and submit myself to at least a Level 3 Rebuking Circle.
I’d be willing to pick you up and drop you off at the city limits of Freehold. I can only drop you off at the city limits though as any time i try to get closer, these bullets fly at me out of nowhere as if God himself is angry at someone or something around me. Not much of a bother as it is more of an inconvenience. Also, I have to be back in time to vote in person at the polls come election time and watch to make sure everyone’s voting for Trump. I hope you understand my priorities.
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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-28-2020, 04:54 AM

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Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
I am a sinner, and I have fallen short. I have missed the mark. I have allowed the lust within me to run wild like a ravenous beast.
It's posts like this that make me sometimes wonder if it is always necessarily a sin to spill seed. Is there a legal defense, for example, in the case of a suitcase nuke and French Islamic terrorists? Picture the scene...


Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit
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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-28-2020, 06:03 AM

Mr. Machine, have you tried posting pictures on the Internet to get advice? I would just bet if you did that, you'd get the answers you need!


Psalm 62:5-7 KJV
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence;
I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-28-2020, 06:32 AM

Dana, I'm so glad we are still focused on helping Mr. Machine and his poor penis. I've been up all night thinking about it, getting worked up; Peter's getting rather concerned. I feel however, as a woman, not yet Saved, there's little I can do at the moment.
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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-28-2020, 06:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha Chung View Post
Dana, I'm so glad we are still focused on helping Mr. Machine and his poor penis. I've been up all night thinking about it, getting worked up; Peter's getting rather concerned. I feel however, as a woman, not yet Saved, there's little I can do at the moment.
It's wonderful to see the concern for Mr. Machine even after he revealed himself to be a sexual predator only a few posts ago. That's a dedication only a female could muster. Sometimes I do think I understand the female brain but then I remember the Charles Manson family and NXIVIM cult were REAL THINGS THAT HAPPENED!!! Faithless savages.


Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit
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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-28-2020, 07:01 AM

Who said he was sexual predator? It says spiritual predator in his signature. I assume that's someone who uses aggressive, even unorthodox methods to save souls at all cost?
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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-28-2020, 07:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha Chung View Post
Who said he was sexual predator? It says spiritual predator in his signature. I assume that's someone who uses aggressive, even unorthodox methods to save souls at all cost?
The clue for me was "I have allowed the lust within me to run wild like a ravenous beast".


Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit
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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-28-2020, 08:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana723 View Post
Mr. Machine, have you tried posting pictures on the Internet to get advice? I would just bet if you did that, you'd get the answers you need!
I've been taking close measurements along with the photographs. If my foreskin is growing back, I need to be able to document this fact.

It would not exactly be a miracle, but perhaps a reverse-miracle? Regardless, my foreskin would be incontrovertible proof of God's supernatural power. What atheist could fail to believe in the face of such evidence?


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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-28-2020, 09:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
It would not exactly be a miracle, but perhaps a reverse-miracle? Regardless, my foreskin would be incontrovertible proof of God's supernatural power. What atheist could fail to believe in the face of such evidence?
Not a miracle? Then why am I getting chills down my spine? And why am I feeling the spirit of Pastor Pistle alive in this room right now! (If he is not dead yet, my sincere apologies).


Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit
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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-28-2020, 10:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
Sometimes I do think I understand the female brain but then I remember the Charles Manson family and NXIVIM cult were REAL THINGS THAT HAPPENED!!! Faithless savages.
It's really a shame about NXIVM. Deep down, part of me feels this is one big misunderstanding. I wanted to invite Keith Rainiere to speak at our church and was hoping this matter would blow over, but sadly not.
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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-29-2020, 01:02 AM

Many thanks to all the pastors and laymen who participated in my Circle of Rebuke, which wound up being a Level 5.

This was, of course, not an easy process. As I lay shivering on the floor, naked in my sin, and surrounded by some of the finest, most Godly Christian men I have ever known, I dare say it felt as though the Lord's judgment itself were raining down on me, one droplet at a time.

I'm sure you all will understand if I take the rest of this evening to quietly reflect.


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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-29-2020, 05:32 PM

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I’d be willing to pick you up and drop you off at the city limits of Freehold. I can only drop you off at the city limits though as any time i try to get closer, these bullets fly at me out of nowhere as if God himself is angry at someone or something around me.
Oh, no! I am not taking the blame for this one! After several unfortunate accidents involving my 20 mm anti-aircraft auto canons, Mayor Hold allowed me to keep them only on the condition that I have their turrets modified to prevent a downward firing position. This means that, with an effective range of 3.4 miles firing a 162 g projectile, I would have to meticulously calculate the minute of angle and fire in a ballistic arc to hit anything on the road. Furthermore, distances would have to be calculated for various ranges and marked off with something superficially resembling those mysterious large red Xs someone painted at 50 foot intervals on the pavement starting at 1.7 miles from the front gates. So don't go blaming me for bullets flying out of nowhere, because I wouldn't even know where to begin pulling off something like that.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Uncle Rutherford has bribed people to get these reputation points.Uncle Rutherford has bribed people to get these reputation points.Uncle Rutherford has bribed people to get these reputation points.Uncle Rutherford has bribed people to get these reputation points.Uncle Rutherford has bribed people to get these reputation points.Uncle Rutherford has bribed people to get these reputation points.Uncle Rutherford has bribed people to get these reputation points.Uncle Rutherford has bribed people to get these reputation points.Uncle Rutherford has bribed people to get these reputation points.Uncle Rutherford has bribed people to get these reputation points.Uncle Rutherford has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-30-2020, 05:15 PM

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Originally Posted by Des View Post
Oh, no! I am not taking the blame for this one! After several unfortunate accidents involving my 20 mm anti-aircraft auto canons, Mayor Hold allowed me to keep them only on the condition that I have their turrets modified to prevent a downward firing position. This means that, with an effective range of 3.4 miles firing a 162 g projectile, I would have to meticulously calculate the minute of angle and fire in a ballistic arc to hit anything on the road. Furthermore, distances would have to be calculated for various ranges and marked off with something superficially resembling those mysterious large red Xs someone painted at 50 foot intervals on the pavement starting at 1.7 miles from the front gates. So don't go blaming me for bullets flying out of nowhere, because I wouldn't even know where to begin pulling off something like that.
I wasn’t going to blame anyone from Freehold. I was going to blame Antifa.
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Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-30-2020, 07:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
I wasn’t going to blame anyone from Freehold. I was going to blame Antifa.
Oh, right, yes. Yes, definitely something they would do.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-30-2020, 07:32 PM

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Originally Posted by Martha Chung View Post
Who said he was sexual predator? It says spiritual predator in his signature. I assume that's someone who uses aggressive, even unorthodox methods to save souls at all cost?
Oh my dear girl. You are mistaking the deeply spiritual work I do with the heathen Asiatics for something altogether different in brother FM. Brother FM is a deeply troubled individual who needs our help and guidance. While his intentions are as noble as my own, his navigation system requires constant oversight.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Martha Chump is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Martha Chump is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-31-2020, 01:59 AM

I'm so happy your faith circle healed his matter.

I would like to request now if we can change the subject. All this non stop talk about penis is making me feel queasy.
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Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 10-31-2020, 04:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha Chung View Post
I would like to request now if we can change the subject. All this non stop talk about penis is making me feel queasy.
What a good idea. Somebody should write a forum post without the title "I need a Landover man to look at my penis" so we can talk about something else. Anyone want to get the ball rolling?


Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit
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Martha Chump is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Martha Chump is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis - 11-01-2020, 02:38 AM

Well, I just love penises! We've spent two pages on Mr. Machine's penis. We've worked night and day on Mr. Machine's penise, and I know a TC's penis is more significant than the entirety of unsaved female trash as myself, but still, it makes me comfortable.
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