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Today i found my wife yawning during her prayer.
What should I do?
What should I do?
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-The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
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-5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
-Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights! -
Re: Yawning during prayer
Hitting her with a baseball bat comes to mind. Also it is a sign of laziness. So she clearly needs less sleep and more hard work.Originally posted by Titus Templeton View Post
Proverbs 12:24 "The hand of the diligent will rule, But the lazy will be put to forced labor."5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
- Protect your family the Christian way! Get your daughter raped!
- Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
- Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all." -
Re: Yawning during prayer
Are you sure it was yawning, not "silent speaking in tongues."?Originally posted by Titus Templeton View Postsigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
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Re: Yawning during prayer
No one in my family ever has yawned during prayer. However, one of my daughters 'queefed' during a Sermon once. The ladies of Landover apparently resolved the 'womens problem'. Something about sewing her lips shut. I never understood it as she still was capable I speaking, if memory serves.Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: Yawning during prayer
If she made a noise, it's the same as a woman talking in church - this simply is not allowed.Originally posted by Titus Templeton View Post
1st Corinthians 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
It's up to you Brother, she has to do what you say.What should I do?
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
When Abigail spoke in Church I had her report to Pastor Ezekiel for intensive Bible study. Not sure why this was from 11 at night till 7 in the morning, but who am I to question.
Anyway, in church, she's kept her yap shut ever since.
-Every young man's battle - PORN AND MASTURBATION![/SIZE]
-DISOWN your ATHEIST children - just like this good mother did!!
-FINALLY!! Some rights for the rapists!!
-There is no such thing as animal abuse!!
-Pregnancy through RAPE is a GIFT from God
-Keep the Fags out of the Boy Scouts!!
-WIVES!! Stay in your abusive relationship!
STOP, DROP & ROLL DOESN'T WORK IN HELL!!!!
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Re: Yawning during prayer
Originally posted by John Creeser View Post
She gives my feeds a massage for the next hour(s).
Its good to be a Christian.
-The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
-Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
-Holocaust Jokes
-Diarrhea: The Vaginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
-Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
-10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
-5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
-Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!Comment
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Re: Yawning during prayer
Perhaps she needs to be reminded how much she loves the Lord.
Keep them apart for a month or so. Leave her home when you go to church. Dont allow her to pray at table and keep her away from the Bible.
Deny her all True Christian activities. Keep her away from her Church family. See how she likes that!!
I think that'll punish her pretty good, and by the end of it she'll be yearning to be back in the Arms of Jesus.
Of course, if you deny her Christian fellowship too long, she might backslide, and go to hell. But that's a risk worth considering, isn't it? Besides, in that case she was never a True Christian anyway.Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left. -- Isaiah 24:6 KJVComment
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Re: Yawning during prayer
This is a woman, Brother. Without constant reinforcement, she could backslide within the week, and become a pole-dancing harlot giving handjobs for crack like unsaved women do!Originally posted by JustGotSaved View Post
Perhaps after withholding her from her church family for a couple of weeks, she should come to Indiana and visit with the wonderful folks of my congregation. Widow Helen could teach her some new tricks, I'm sure!
In the kitchen, of course.Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Re: Yawning during prayer
I'll tell you what; if I catch anyone yawning during one of my sermons, I'll come right down from the pulpit and beat them like a rented mule.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Yawning during prayer
My wife has done this before; well, at least I suspected she had (I looked at her and her lips were apart).
My punishment for her tiredness was to not let her sleep for 72 hours, and instead stay in the "naughty cage" I keep next to my garden shed. GOD blessed me and sent down some terrible weather, and she hasn't yawned since!
6A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"
Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.
GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.Comment
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Re: Yawning during prayer
I think you have to look at these things in context. For instance, my wife yawned in church one time, but she had put in a 16'X24' cedar deck the day before, so I let it slide.
YiC,
ZechsigpicComment
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Re: Yawning during prayer
Maybe you are the one who needs to be struck with a bat. REPEATEDLY. Do you christian extremists/bigots ever think that people have bad days? Do not tell me every day is good when you let the Lord into your life either, I'm being serious. Maybe his wife was just tired from something, there is no reason she should be punished for it.Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View PostComment
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Re: Yawning during prayer
Oh do be careful when using things like that.Originally posted by WinnerNotSinner View PostMy wife has done this before; well, at least I suspected she had (I looked at her and her lips were apart).
My punishment for her tiredness was to not let her sleep for 72 hours, and instead stay in the "naughty cage" I keep next to my garden shed. GOD blessed me and sent down some terrible weather, and she hasn't yawned since!
You wouldn't want to give people the idea you're doing some horribly sinful activity like BDSM sex
They don't even use it for reproduction! They have sex for their ill-mannered and absolutely, horrifically disgusting idea of "pleasure"
I'm linking the image to save any young folk who could be swayed away from the Path of Christ and from being a True Christian.
But should you cage your woman, and I dare not say you should not as it is your right to discipline her as is your will, you may give the impression you're one of THESE horrible deviants from the Path of Christ.
Be careful good sir.Comment
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Re: Yawning during prayer
When I first read the title, I hoped that it would only have been kids, as they do get distracted quite easily (still not an excuse though, but it would have explained it). But knowing that your wife is yawning while listening to the holy words of God himself...that seems unacceptable, however, is this the first time that you have caught her doing this? If it is, I say that you should have a serious discussion with her, and if this an often occurrence, you definitely need to tell her to get her priorities straight, if you don't want to be alone in Heaven.
We all know that divorcing her is NOT an option "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate," - Mark 10:9, however I believe that it is not a part of God's plan to set up a good Christian man with a woman who does not take God serious "When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house,..." - Deuteronomy 24:1Comment
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Re: Yawning during prayer
I think the proper way to do things is to yawn every other word and every 3rd syllable.Comment
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