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  • Titus Templeton
    Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
    Jesus macht frei
    True Christian™
    • Aug 2010
    • 5912

    #1

    I think my son killed David Bowie!

    Last month we listened to a song. My son asked me who is the singer. I said David Bowie.
    He then asked me if David Bowie is a Christian. I said no he is probably a homosexual. Then my son said he wants to pray that David Bowie goes to Hell.

    Now its a few weeks later and I think God listened to my Son?
    I wonder if he has a special relationship with Jesus. My son in general is often praying about people going to Hell that he dislikes.
    Recently after I gave him a beating he went to his room and I asked him what he is doing then he said he wants to pray that someone goes to Hell. He looked at me in a way like he I am the next on his prayer list. It makes me sick in my stomach thinking that he might talk to Jesus bad about me and I am his dad.
    -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
    -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
    -Holocaust Jokes
    -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
    -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
    -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
    -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
    -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!
  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708

    #2
    Re: I think my son killed David Bowie!

    SHOUT !


    Never underestimate the power of PRAYER!
    sigpic

    Tweet me Here
    My GODLY Bio Here

    Comment

    • Roland
      Obese Swedish Meatball
      Delusional Forum Member
      • May 2014
      • 2193

      #3
      Re: I think my son killed David Bowie!

      Originally posted by Titus Templeton View Post
      Last month we listened to a song. My son asked me who is the singer. I said David Bowie.
      He then asked me if David Bowie is a Christian. I said no he is probably a homosexual. Then my son said he wants to pray that David Bowie goes to Hell.

      Now its a few weeks later and I think God listened to my Son?
      [...]He looked at me in a way like he I am the next on his prayer list.
      You should not worry to much. According to Matthew 7:13-14 most of us won´t end up in Heaven anyway.

      If things go awry you can always join me where the beer volcano, stripper factory and river of pasta sauce will nourish us.

      Kind regards, Roland
      Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

      Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.

      Comment

      • Cranky Old Man
        Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
        You kids get off his lawn!
         
        • Jan 2010
        • 22380

        #4
        Re: I think my son killed David Bowie!

        Bless your son! I am certain the worst sinners in Hell are being tortured now by being forced to listen to the utter garbage that is David Bowie!

        This is not how a decent heterosexual dresses:


        David Robert Jones (his real name) should clearly burn in Hell:
        5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
        To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
        James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

        Comment

        • Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Jun 2014
          • 1330

          #5
          Re: I think my son killed David Bowie!

          Praise Jesus that one more sodomite is gone!
          "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

          Comment

          • Nobar King
            Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
            Christ's Guardian
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2007
            • 23748

            #6
            Re: I think my son killed David Bowie!

            Thanks for the help!
            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

            Comment

            • Nobar King
              Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
              Christ's Guardian
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2007
              • 23748

              #7
              Re: I think my son killed David Bowie!

              I was reading more about this fellow and it turns out that he's just a pedophile rapist just like the Catholic priests:http://www.patheos.com/blogs/cosmost...-sex-scandals/
              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

              Comment

              • Toot11
                Confirmed Enemy of God
                • Jan 2016
                • 96

                #8
                Re: I think my son killed David Bowie!

                Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                I was reading more about this fellow and it turns out that he's just a pedophile rapist just like the Catholic priests:http://www.patheos.com/blogs/cosmost...-sex-scandals/
                Now when I say this, I'm not condoning what he did, but the 70's were a way different time than today (and this happened over four decades ago). There wasn't nearly the stigma on those sorts of activities as there is, now. And groupies were everywhere at the time, so at least be consistent with your hostility. One of the girls that did it, Lori Mattix has bragged about it, before, so it clearly it wasn't terrible.

                Comment

                • Jim Farmer
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2014
                  • 2293

                  #9
                  Re: I think my son killed David Bowie!

                  So who was worse - a papist priest or David Bowie? Are we really discussing this? I fear that any propensity to do this may draw us in to the papist penchant for arguing how many angels dance on a pinhead. Does it really matter who is worse? We know that Satan loves sticking his tallywhacker into roman priests' buttocks the same as he loves jamming it into David Bowie's nether regions. Does it really matter which Satan prefers?
                  sigpic

                  Comment

                  • Grandma
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Dec 2015
                    • 73

                    #10
                    Re: I think my son killed David Bowie!

                    Could this be a sign of the second coming? Your son may, in fact, be the Lord himself! Huzzah!
                    Proverbs 3:5
                    Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

                    Comment

                    • Nobar King
                      Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                      Christ's Guardian
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2007
                      • 23748

                      #11
                      Re: I think my son killed David Bowie!

                      Originally posted by Trout11 View Post
                      There wasn't nearly the stigma on those sorts of activities as there is, now.
                      It's still statutory rape. It's no different than a high school football player shagging the math teacher. He probably liked it, too.

                      Just because one stupid bitch glorified the abuse doesn't make it any less sordid.
                      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                      Comment

                      • Toot11
                        Confirmed Enemy of God
                        • Jan 2016
                        • 96

                        #12
                        Re: I think my son killed David Bowie!

                        Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                        It's still statutory rape. It's no different than a high school football player shagging the math teacher. He probably liked it, too.

                        Just because one stupid bitch glorified the abuse doesn't make it any less sordid.
                        But you can't ignore historical context when talking about things like that. Groupies were incredibly common in the seventies, and this is about Bowie screwing a girl that was 45 years ago.

                        Comment

                        • VictoryOS
                          True Christian™ Beauty Queen
                           
                          • Dec 2007
                          • 5390

                          #13
                          Re: I think my son killed David Bowie!

                          Originally posted by Trout11 View Post
                          But you can't ignore historical context when talking about things like that. Groupies were incredibly common in the seventies, and this is about Bowie screwing a girl that was 45 years ago.
                          Typical LIEberal behavior. Always looking for a loophole or a "gotcha!" to get their fellow sodomites out of trouble. There are no loopholes in the Bible. There's no "Get out of Hell free" card. Once you pass "GO to Hell", you do not collect $200.

                          Mr Trout, please consider giving yourself over to the Lord.
                          Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
                          in 2016

                          Comment

                          • Basilissa
                            South of the Border outreach program
                            True Christian™
                             
                            • Mar 2013
                            • 12997

                            #14
                            Re: I think my son killed David Bowie!

                            Originally posted by Trout11 View Post
                            But you can't ignore historical context when talking about things like that. Groupies were incredibly common in the seventies, and this is about Bowie screwing a girl that was 45 years ago.
                            You should be Bill Cosby's lawyer. He'd like that line of defense.
                            God created fossils to test our faith.

                            * * *

                            My favorite LBC sermons:
                            True Christians are Perfect!
                            True Christian™ Love.
                            Salvation™ made Easy!
                            You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                            Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                            Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                            Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                            Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                            The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                            Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                            God HATES Rational Thinking!
                            True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                            Comment

                            • Toot11
                              Confirmed Enemy of God
                              • Jan 2016
                              • 96

                              #15
                              Re: I think my son killed David Bowie!

                              Originally posted by VictoryOS View Post
                              Typical LIEberal behavior. Always looking for a loophole or a "gotcha!" to get their fellow sodomites out of trouble. There are no loopholes in the Bible. There's no "Get out of Hell free" card. Once you pass "GO to Hell", you do not collect $200.
                              I'm not looking for this mystical loophole you speak of. Context is everything. If you ignore it, you're being willfully ignorant.

                              Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                              You should be Bill Cosby's lawyer. He'd like that line of defense.
                              Cosby's situation is completely different.

                              Comment

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