[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

9. Sandals. Perverted men with foot fantasies may be provoked into a sexshul frenzy and rape the person nearest to him.

I know JESUS wore sandals, but back then China didn't manufacture shoes so HE had no choice.

10. Riding on Swings or Merry-Go-Rounds. As innocent as these maybe they can also get you pregnant. It turns out that the motion from swinging back and forth or going round and round can make a gal pass out! This leaves her vulnerable to rape by nigras or beaners who may be wandering by or enjoying a nice watermelon in the park.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

Men should not be putting sun tan lotion on each other, this will just encourage them to become sodomites.

Must you see homosexuality in everything friend? You need to learn to stop rushing to judgment and be more like a TRUE Christian. If you ever been to one of our Circle of Brothers you would understand how NOT gay it is.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

Brothers, whatever you do, DO NOT Google "summer sin."

[Nobar King]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

10. Riding on Swings or Merry-Go-Rounds.

A merry-go-round will send you to hell faster than you would think.

[James Dewitt]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

Brothers and Sisters I am in New York to day shopping for Mrs Phebe. So far today I have seen at least 10, almost nude whores standing on a street corner covered in sweat and trying to sell their bodies. Not 30 minutes ago I witnessed a herd of nigglets that had removed the cap on a fire hydrant and where... , well I cant say what they where doing with ladies present.
What is going to happen if there is a fire? The nigglets have stolen all the water.
Have to run my flight leaves in an hour.
P.S. we really need to get a good Joo jewelry store in Freehold.

[handmaiden]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

Summer should be for working! All kids should be forced to get jobs over the summer, how else are they to grow up and be functioning members of society? If you ask me the number one reason for America's downfall is because we don't force children to work. Why just today I went outside my house and the neighbor kids had set up a Slip 'n Slide in their front yard. These future Democrats were Slippin' and Slidin' all over the place and THERE WAS NO ACCOUNTABILITY!

Brother, you have the right of it. Back when our founding fathers envisioned compulsory education for the masses ( so they could read the Bible), the school year was established with summer off so that children could assist with farming chores. In our formerly agrarian society, it was understood that children were, first and foremost, economic units. They spent their summers laboring to grow crops (which were going to feed them during the rest of the year) and did not waste valuable time galivanting, willy-wallying or hooting at any nannies. Children worked! Summer was for field labor, Winter for hauling firewood and spinning, weaving, sewing etc, at the same time as studying.

Children today are accesories to their parents' vanity. They do no work. They are not taught proper morals or guilt or how to glorify the Lord. They are dressed up and dragged around to sporting or musical events so parents can show up the other parents with their children's "accomplishments."

As to the original theme about summer-- children are allowed to engage in indulgent play and eat endulgent food --ice cream. Women wear clothes that display more skin than they cover and men are tempted to go tieless!

Back to the fields for summer, I say! Bible tent meetings and lemonade are all the indulgence needed. Summer sin, indeed!

Righteously Yours,

Handmaiden

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

11. Dressing like a dog in heat (as said by the GODLY Mel Gibson, not me) will get you raped by a pack of nigras. It will be your fault and you will deserve it.

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

Thankfully it's winter in wretched New Zealand, but this thread had reminded me of a common summer danger ...

12. The Beach. Many dangers are found near the sea, too many to list. But here is a selection:

The wanton display that is beach volleyball; a mating ritual which involves much jiggling and exposed flesh.

The disgustingly named body boarding (sometimes known as boogie boarding): I have no idea what body boarding entails to be perfectly honest, but it sounds dreadful.

The beach puts children's salvation at risk also: building sandcastles is a pointless, time-wasting exercise -- Christian children would be better off spending their time contemplating the following verses:

Matthew 7:25-27 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.

The depravity which is half-burying people in sand, and using sand to build a body on top of the buried person -- usually consisting of huge bosoms, and enormous tallywhackers. Very popular among those sinners who have been drinking heavily, and perhaps have a touch of sunstroke.

Perhaps the worst danger is -- may GOD forgive me for being graphic here -- the indignity of getting sand up the crack of one's backside. Personally I have NEVER experienced this, and am a loss as to how one would get sand in such a personal area; I have a theory though that some sinners are so addicted to exfoliation that it becomes a sort of fetish for them, and not content with exfoliating only their face and inoffensive body parts, they rub sand upon their nether regions.

[SUV]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

The disgustingly named body boarding (sometimes known as boogie boarding): I have no idea what body boarding entails to be perfectly honest, but it sounds dreadful.

You're Right, Mrs Rogers, it Certainly does.

I prefer President Bush's favorite sport: Waterboarding

[Tchoupitoulas]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

1. Public Pools! They can cause pregnancy. True Christian women should never get in them past their knees. Public pools also spread the AIDS. Come to think of it JUST STAY OUT of them.

The high levels of chlorine in public pools would kill any sperm that might have been released into the water.

2. Sun Screen. Putting sunscreen on your self or others. Often the rubbing on of sun screen will cause arousal in you or the person you are putting it on (even children). This often leads to fornication or self abuse from M'ing.

Only if you're rubbing it on your privates.

3. Sun Dresses. As a woman I know that wearing a cute sun dress in the sweltering is not only fashionable, it's down right comfortable. BUT did you know that perverted men are just dying to get a peek of your legs and arms! Just the sight of ankles or bare arms can send some men in to a sexshual frenzy causing them to M for hours on end fantasizing about YOU. This will send YOU BOTH TO HELL. YOU will be the one who caused him to "sin in his heart".

If bare ankles and arms are enough to send a guy over the edge, he really needs to get a life.

[Tchoupitoulas]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

And here's what just gets my goat: NOWHERE in the Constitution does it say kids should be allowed to not work all summer. NOWHERE.

Nowhere does it say that they should be forced to either.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

Nowhere does it say that they should be forced to either.

Excuse me Greek person,

You may have comments to make on here, but how about you show a little common courtesy and make a post on the INTRODUCTION FORUM.

Please do it NOW.

YIC

Mrs.P.Wintersnow.

[Tchoupitoulas]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

Excuse me Greek person,

You may have comments to make on here, but how about you show a little common courtesy and make a post on the INTRODUCTION FORUM.

Please do it NOW.

YIC

Mrs.P.Wintersnow.

The name isn't Greek, it's the name of a band of Mardi Gras Indians.

[handmaiden]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

The name isn't Greek, it's the name of a band of Mardi Gras Indians.

Mardi Gras as in the Latin for "fat Tuesday" indicating a day of indulgent behavior immediately prior to Ash Wednesday and the somber observation of Lent?

I'm not seeing any connection with Injuns of any kind Mr. Choup--toot-ass.

Inquiringly Yours,

Handmaiden

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL

Thankfully it's winter in wretched New Zealand, [...]

Are you sure? It's not just a cold summer or you're using other words (e.g. Fall and Autumn)?

Anyhoo, be that as it may, there are those who, encouraged by a slight rise in temperature, go wandering around in the wilderness, mountains, deserts, etc.

How many times does the Bible refer to people going on holiday simply to wander aimlessly? I'll tell you - Zero.

You should always have a purpose and that purpose is praising God. You can do that in your own home.

God made the Israelites wander for 40 years. Does anyone nowadays believe this was an extended hiking tour? No!

It was a hint for them to stay at home.