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  • Nurse Clampett
    Jesus's Favorite Nurse
    Forum Member
    • Jan 2009
    • 974

    #331
    Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

    How many joos can ride in a Volkswagen?
    Fourteen. Two in front, two in back and ten in the ashtray.
    Luke 5:31
    And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick

    Comment

    • Hell_Ashes
      Confirmed Enemy of God
      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
      • Apr 2009
      • 1

      #332
      Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

      LOL, My joke is: There Is No Jesus! Except it's not a joke! XD

      Comment

      • Ezekiel Bathfire
        Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
        Christ's Rottweiler
         
        • Jan 2008
        • 22839

        #333
        Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

        What is the difference between Batman and a nigra?
        Batman can go out at night without Robin
        sigpic


        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

        Author of such illuminating essays as,
        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

        Comment

        • IHateBapFreaks
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
          • Apr 2009
          • 6

          #334
          Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

          You know that first post was very offensive against me and my religious leader. May you please delete it, ma'am?

          Comment

          • Nobar King
            Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
            Christ's Guardian
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2007
            • 23748

            #335
            Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

            Originally posted by IHateBapFreaks View Post
            You know that first post was very offensive against me and my religious leader. May you please delete it, ma'am?
            We don't delete anything here, you papal pauper. That would undermine the integrity of this forum. People would accuse us of deleting their 'wisdom', and that would just dilute the true word of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

            You might want to watch what you write, because you can't edit it.
            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

            Comment

            • IHateBapFreaks
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
              • Apr 2009
              • 6

              #336
              Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

              You know, why can't Baptists and Catholics just unite under the worship of God and his only begotton Son Christ?

              Comment

              • Nobar King
                Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                Christ's Guardian
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2007
                • 23748

                #337
                Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                Originally posted by IHateBapFreaks View Post
                You know, why can't Baptists and Catholics just unite under the worship of God and his only begotton Son Christ?
                You might find better answers in this thread, and not the joke thread.
                May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                Comment

                • Nurse Clampett
                  Jesus's Favorite Nurse
                  Forum Member
                  • Jan 2009
                  • 974

                  #338
                  Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                  Back on topic...
                  How do you name a baby chink? Drop an empty can down a flight of stairs and try to sound the noise out.
                  Luke 5:31
                  And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick

                  Comment

                  • JennyD
                    Honorary True Christian™
                    Sweet Placid Sister
                    Forum Member
                    • Dec 2007
                    • 9567

                    #339
                    Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                    Originally posted by IHateBapFreaks View Post
                    You know, why can't Baptists and Catholics just unite under the worship of God and his only begotton Son Christ?
                    Now, THAT is funny!

                    Catholics . . . worshipping God and Jesus, instead of Mary!

                    What a kidder!
                    www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
                    Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

                    Christian Ladies:
                    Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

                    Comment

                    • IncreaseThePeace
                      Unsaved trash
                      • Apr 2009
                      • 10

                      #340
                      Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                      We worship Christ our Lord. We venerate Mary. Worship and venerate are two different things, Sister Jenny. Two different things.

                      Comment

                      • Daisy Mae Johnson
                        The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                        Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                        aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 15708

                        #341
                        Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                        Originally posted by IHateBapFreaks View Post
                        You know that first post was very offensive against me and my religious leader. May you please delete it, ma'am?

                        No I won't. May you go to HELL Mary Worshiper. Maybe I should go to your lame Catlick forum and tell you Hellbound idiots what to do.

                        RUDE!
                        sigpic

                        Tweet me Here
                        My GODLY Bio Here

                        Comment

                        • Virginia Day Templeton
                          Christ's Battle Axe
                           
                          • Dec 2006
                          • 2827

                          #342
                          Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                          A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

                          One day the professor shocked the class when he came in, looked to the ceiling, and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

                          The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

                          Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, '"Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him, knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

                          The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked, stunned, and sat there looking on in silence.

                          The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

                          The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting American soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me."
                          sigpic

                          Comment

                          • JennyD
                            Honorary True Christian™
                            Sweet Placid Sister
                            Forum Member
                            • Dec 2007
                            • 9567

                            #343
                            Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                            Originally posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
                            The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting American soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me."
                            If we only sent True Christian(tm) soldiers into battle, just imagine . . . ZERO casualties!
                            www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
                            Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

                            Christian Ladies:
                            Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

                            Comment

                            • Jimmy C Lombardo
                              Forum Member
                              Forum Member
                              • Mar 2009
                              • 218

                              #344
                              Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                              Uncle Jim told me this one yesterday:

                              Q: Why did the woman cross the road?

                              A: Why wasnt she in the kitchen!?

                              Comment

                              • Koty.Thompson
                                • May 2009
                                • 17

                                #345
                                Funny, funny joke--very nice.

                                1. What do you call a woman who has lost 97.5% of her intelligence?
                                --Divorced
                                2. In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
                                3. Why can't women ski?
                                --Because there is no snow between the bedroom and the kitchen.

                                --Koty

                                Comment

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