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  • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

    Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post

    The person under me has made a couple accounting boo-boos on their tax returns that have led to federal indictment for several felonies.
    False; I have never filed a tax return in my life.


    The person under me was at the Woodstock Music Orgy held 40 years ago this weekend.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment


    • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      False; I have never filed a tax return in my life.


      The person under me was at the Woodstock Music Orgy held 40 years ago this weekend.
      True. Before I was Saved by Spaceship Jesus in 1974 I led quite a wild life. 1969 was a particularily insane year for me. I don't remember much about Woodstock though, I admit. Just remember some rain, Country Joe and the Fish, and Jimi playing some wicked guitar. Lost track of how many drugs I ingested. Pills, pot, acid tabs, you name it. Lost track of how many human beings I had sex with too. Was Allen Ginsburg there? I might've did some pretty disgusting acts with him.

      But what I do remember was the unicorns pulling chariots across the sky as they left kaleidoscopic clouds in their wake. They were pulled by a robotic Napoleon who only had one eye, but this eye was able to look across all space and time. I remember the blades of grass singing to me. I remember the man whose stomach talked to me and told me ancient Zen Buddhist truths that have not been spoken to men for over 10,000 years. I remember a busfull of hippies that turned into a submarine and there was a great flood that overtook Woodstock and we were all undersea. Joan Baez was on stage in Scuba equipment and Jacque Cousteau sat next to me strumming an acoustic guitar and chanting Mayan spell rituals. Then the sea opened up and a great squid descended upon us, it was more than 10 miles in length. It scooped up hippies and took them to Heaven....

      Yea, that's all I pretty much remember from Woodstock. Anyways, back to the game...

      The person below me has fallen asleep in one jail and woken up in another.
      sigpic
      SPACESHIP JESUS appeared to me in Astronaut form when I was staying in a motel in 1974. He then told me the TRUTH about our world and what illusions the SATANIC ALLIANCE uses to control us! To this day, I still receive SPACESHIP RADIO SIGNALS INTO MY BRAIN. Absolve yourself of your limited Matrix existence.

      Hosea 9:7
      The days of visitation are come, the days of recompence are come; Israel shall know it: the prophet is a fool, the spiritual man is mad, for the multitude of thine iniquity, and the great hatred.

      Comment


      • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

        False. The nice officer drove me home after I was finger printed and the paperwork was completed.





        The person under me has had sexual relations with more than 1 person at the same time
        Recognition, sorrow, confession, forgiveness, restitution, forsaking the sin.
        The Lord forgives me of my sin.

        Comment


        • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

          Originally posted by Mary O'Bryan Thorne View Post
          The person under me has had sexual relations with more than 1 person at the same time
          I prefer not to talk about those unfortunate years I spent in the convent.

          The person below me knows that vegetarians are un-American.
          Posted via Prayer

          1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
          Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

          Blogging for CHRIST!
          Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
          All a-Twitter for Salvation!
          Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
          On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
          My Ladies of Landover profile!

          Comment


          • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

            Originally posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
            I prefer not to talk about those unfortunate years I spent in the convent.

            The person below me knows that vegetarians are un-American.
            True! Only Godless hippies refuse to eat of the beef.
            The person under me believes in magical underwear.
            Luke 5:31
            And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick

            Comment


            • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

              False.

              The person under me just got home from church.

              Comment


              • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                Originally posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
                False.

                The person under me just got home from church.
                True. I went to all four sermons today about the decline in Western civilization due to the feminist movement.
                The person under me believes in EVILoution
                Luke 5:31
                And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick

                Comment


                • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                  Originally posted by Nurse Clampett View Post
                  True. I went to all four sermons today about the decline in Western civilization due to the feminist movement.
                  The person under me believes in EVILoution

                  Evolution? No


                  The person below me likes Dane Cooke

                  Comment


                  • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                    Originally posted by Jenni111 View Post
                    Evolution? No


                    The person below me likes Dane Cooke
                    False. I have no idea who she is.

                    The person below me has an air-conditioned doghouse.

                    Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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                    • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                      Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
                      False. I have no idea who she is.

                      The person below me has an air-conditioned doghouse.

                      False, we don't have a dog, so we don't need one.

                      The person below me knows what a "Pikachu" is

                      Comment


                      • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                        Originally posted by Jenni111 View Post
                        The person below me knows what a "Pikachu" is
                        I think that's true, but I'll have to confirm with my husband - Mr. Whitford - who is an ex-sodomite so he knows all their slang.

                        The person below me is disgusted that the lie of "global warming" is being used to destroy the American way of life.
                        Posted via Prayer

                        1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
                        Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

                        Blogging for CHRIST!
                        Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
                        All a-Twitter for Salvation!
                        Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
                        On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
                        My Ladies of Landover profile!

                        Comment


                        • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                          True.

                          The person under me is having steak for dinner this week.

                          Comment


                          • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                            Originally posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
                            True.

                            The person under me is having steak for dinner this week.

                            Of course

                            The person below me eats "Skittles"

                            Comment


                            • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                              FALSE!

                              The person under me eats M&M's

                              Comment


                              • Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                False


                                The person below me watches sports

                                Comment

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