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  • Mrs. Mary Whitford
    Ladies of Landover Senior VP
    One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
    Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
    True Christian™
    • Dec 2006
    • 12414
    #556
    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    The person below me has a sticky keyboard.
    False. Laquieeshaah (or however the heck she spells it!) may have her faults, but she's the least lazy negress maid we've had yet.

    The person below me knows that the constitution should be replaced by the Bible.
    Posted via Prayer

    1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
    Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

    Blogging for CHRIST!
    Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
    All a-Twitter for Salvation!
    Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
    On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
    My Ladies of Landover profile!

      Comment

      • Meek and Humble
        Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar
        Biblical Black Belt
        Jr. Pastor
        True Christian™
        • Dec 2008
        • 6197
        #557
        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

        TRUE!

        The person under me wasn't born in the United States

          Comment

          • Rev. M. Rodimer
            Honorary True Christian™
            Forum Member
            • May 2008
            • 13996
            #558
            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

            Originally posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
            TRUE!

            The person under me wasn't born in the United States
            False! Do I look like Obamamamarwanda to you?

            The person below me is planning to buy two copies of Sarah Palin's upcoming autobiography; one to color, and one to keep safe as a collector's item.
            Bible boring? Nonsense!
            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

              Comment

              • Pastor Ezekiel
                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                 
                • Sep 2006
                • 78556
                #559
                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post

                The person below me is planning to buy two copies of Sarah Palin's upcoming autobiography; one to color, and one to keep safe as a collector's item.
                False. She's shipping me a case of them a week before release. True Christian(tm) Pastors never pay retail.


                The person under me once dated Corazon Aquino.
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • Mrs. Mary Whitford
                    Ladies of Landover Senior VP
                    One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
                    Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
                    True Christian™
                    • Dec 2006
                    • 12414
                    #560
                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    The person under me once dated Corazon Aquino.
                    False! I'd never date a wetback, particularly one I've never heard of before. Is he someone's gardener?

                    The person below me is a Silver Tither or above.
                    Posted via Prayer

                    1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
                    Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

                    Blogging for CHRIST!
                    Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
                    All a-Twitter for Salvation!
                    Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
                    On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
                    My Ladies of Landover profile!

                      Comment

                      • Wide-Open
                        Director of European Evangelical Outreach
                        A Shining Example of Christ's Love
                        Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
                        True Christian™
                        • Nov 2007
                        • 18449
                        #561
                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                        False, I'm a Tin Tither.

                        The person under me has posted on 4chan.
                        Psalm 81:10:
                        I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                        open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                          Comment

                          • JennyD
                            Honorary True Christian™
                            Sweet Placid Sister
                            Forum Member
                            • Dec 2007
                            • 9567
                            #562
                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                            Originally posted by Wide-Open View Post
                            False, I'm a Tin Tither.

                            The person under me has posted on 4chan.
                            False. I've seen enough of their posters to know the damage it can do to one's IQ.

                            The person under me thinks Jesus loves everybody.
                            www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
                            Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

                            Christian Ladies:
                            Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

                              Comment

                              • Meek and Humble
                                Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar
                                Biblical Black Belt
                                Jr. Pastor
                                True Christian™
                                • Dec 2008
                                • 6197
                                #563
                                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                FALSE, FALSE, FALSE!

                                The person under me has visited me on my farm.

                                  Comment

                                  • Eugene Hackwith
                                    Farmer for Christ™
                                    True Christian™
                                    • Jan 2008
                                    • 736
                                    #564
                                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                    Originally posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
                                    FALSE, FALSE, FALSE!

                                    The person under me has visited me on my farm.
                                    True, since your farm is just down the road from my own.

                                    The person under me sponsors a starving child in Africa.
                                    A baby is a human being, not a stem cell!

                                    Psalm 139:19-20
                                    Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
                                    For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.

                                      Comment

                                      • Meek and Humble
                                        Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar
                                        Biblical Black Belt
                                        Jr. Pastor
                                        True Christian™
                                        • Dec 2008
                                        • 6197
                                        #565
                                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                        Absolutely false!

                                        The person under me believes a former starving African sponsor child now occupies the seat of President of the United States

                                          Comment

                                          • Rev. Jim Osborne
                                            True Christian™ Televangelist
                                            Director of Fundraising and Tithing
                                            On the Look Out for Wife #6!
                                            True Christian™
                                            • Jun 2009
                                            • 8622
                                            #566
                                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                            Originally posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
                                            Absolutely false!

                                            The person under me believes a former starving African sponsor child now occupies the seat of President of the United States
                                            Extremely true. Which is why I don't send money to this ingrateful kids in the first place. Why do those kids sit around and starve? Haven't they ever heard of getting up off their butts and finding a job?

                                            The person below me has used a fire hose on a mob of unruly negroes.

                                            Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

                                              Comment

                                              • Pastor Ezekiel
                                                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                                 
                                                • Sep 2006
                                                • 78556
                                                #567
                                                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post

                                                The person below me has used a fire hose on a mob of unruly negroes.
                                                True, although they weren't especially unruly.


                                                The person below me has a collection of paddles and spanking implements that he wants to sell me to increase my private collection...
                                                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Meek and Humble
                                                    Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar
                                                    Biblical Black Belt
                                                    Jr. Pastor
                                                    True Christian™
                                                    • Dec 2008
                                                    • 6197
                                                    #568
                                                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                    False (I don't want to sell them, but you're welcome to come over and admire them some evening...)

                                                    The person under me knows that Disney is evil

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Plan B
                                                        Unsaved trash
                                                        Under Investigation
                                                        • Aug 2009
                                                        • 8
                                                        #569
                                                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                        False, I personally have never put much into thought into Disney and its various characters so i do not really have an opinion on them.


                                                        The person under owns a hammock.

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Marshall
                                                            Righteous and Patriotic
                                                            Highest body count at the VFW
                                                            True Christian™
                                                            • Oct 2006
                                                            • 3330
                                                            #570
                                                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                            I used to own a hammock until Brother Hatchet showed me how sinful such a thing was. It was because of that indiscretion that I upped my tithing status to platinum and started sitting in the good seats on Sunday. In a way he saved my soul from lounging in Satans hammock which is of the "banana" kind. Good man that Hatchet, the youth of today could learn a lot from him if they'd stop having sex and popping the weed long enough to listen.

                                                            The person below me went to band camp if you catch my drift.
                                                            God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.

                                                              Comment

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