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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78552
    #2251
    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

    Originally posted by Zen Spyder View Post
    The person under me is watching television right now.
    True. Well, closed circuit television.



    The person under me had to beat his 14 year old Indonesian houseboy for cooking patty sausage instead of link sausage for breakfast this morning before Church.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Rev. M. Rodimer
        Honorary True Christian™
        Forum Member
        • May 2008
        • 13996
        #2252
        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        True. Well, closed circuit television.



        The person under me had to beat his 14 year old Indonesian houseboy for cooking patty sausage instead of link sausage for breakfast this morning before Church.
        False. I have no houseboy.

        Widow Helen isn't even in North Salem anymore, so I don't have her tasty meat pies to enjoy, nor her delightful gay hunting stories to hear.

        The person under me probably didn't hear the sermon broadcast this morning on AM radio that I heard while driving to church, but agrees wholeheartedly with Pastor Mark Hanke of the First Baptist Church of Salem (Oregon, not Indiana) who said that calling someone a fool, as described as a sin by Jesus (Matthew 5:22), was the equivalent of saying, "You live like an atheist, like there's no God!"

        The person under me also agrees that it is important to remind our congregations at every opportunity that atheists are fools and dangerous haters of God who want to corrupt and destroy His Faithful and America.
        Bible boring? Nonsense!
        Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
        You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

          Comment

          • Zen Spyder
            Confirmed Enemy of God
            • Dec 2010
            • 77
            #2253
            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

            Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
            The person under me also agrees that it is important to remind our congregations at every opportunity that atheists are fools and dangerous haters of God who want to corrupt and destroy His Faithful and America.
            False. Atheists are people too.

            The person under me is starting a very healthy and nutrient-rich dinner.

              Comment

              • Levi Jones
                Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
                Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
                Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
                 
                • Jul 2009
                • 13930
                #2254
                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                Originally posted by Zen Spyder View Post

                The person under me is starting a very healthy and nutrient-rich dinner.
                True. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy and green beans cooked in bacon grease.

                The person under me was affected by the recall on Canned chicken salad.
                Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                  Comment

                  • Zen Spyder
                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                    • Dec 2010
                    • 77
                    #2255
                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                    Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
                    True. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy and green beans cooked in bacon grease.

                    The person under me was affected by the recall on Canned chicken salad.
                    False. I'm not a fan of chicken salad. Canned or otherwise.

                    The person under me is a fan of the show NCIS.

                      Comment

                      • Rev. Jim Osborne
                        True Christian™ Televangelist
                        Director of Fundraising and Tithing
                        On the Look Out for Wife #6!
                        True Christian™
                        • Jun 2009
                        • 8622
                        #2256
                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                        Originally posted by Zen Spyder View Post
                        False. I'm not a fan of chicken salad. Canned or otherwise.

                        The person under me is a fan of the show NCIS.
                        False. I avoid ridiculous multi-ethnic ensemble casts.

                        The person under me has suffered from chest pains. Like me right now. I think I need to call a doctor.

                        Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

                          Comment

                          • Rev. M. Rodimer
                            Honorary True Christian™
                            Forum Member
                            • May 2008
                            • 13996
                            #2257
                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                            Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
                            False. I avoid ridiculous multi-ethnic ensemble casts.

                            The person under me has suffered from chest pains. Like me right now. I think I need to call a doctor.
                            False. I suggest you PRAY, my Brother. As you chew on an aspirin and dial 9-1-1.

                            You aren't questioning whether it is time for Jesus to call you Home (to lay in the ground and rot, unknowing, until He resurrects you into your restored body at Judgment), are you?

                            Aspirin, not ibuprofen or Tylenol. Aspirin is an anticoagulant.

                            The person under me is very concerned to hear that Rev. Jim is considering a doctor instead of a Men's Prayer Circle.
                            Bible boring? Nonsense!
                            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                              Comment

                              • Pastor Ezekiel
                                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                 
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 78552
                                #2258
                                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                                The person under me is very concerned to hear that Rev. Jim is considering a doctor instead of a Men's Prayer Circle.
                                False. Jesus has left standing orders with Rev. Jim and our good pal Dick Cheney to call the True Christian(tm) paramedics at the first sign of trouble.



                                The person under me knows that so-called "pop music" is nothing but jumped-up nigra jungle music designed by satan to make White kids take narcotics and fornicate and hob-knob with other races.
                                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                  Comment

                                  • PetitionLady
                                    Hates Obama. Really Hates Obama. Actually, REALLY REALLY REALLY Hates Obama.
                                    Forum Member
                                    • Nov 2010
                                    • 883
                                    #2259
                                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                    False. Jesus has left standing orders with Rev. Jim and our good pal Dick Cheney to call the True Christian™ paramedics at the first sign of trouble.



                                    The person under me knows that so-called "pop music" is nothing but jumped-up nigra jungle music designed by satan to make White kids take narcotics and fornicate and hob-knob with other races.
                                    True, true, true.

                                    The person below me is still laughing at Obama's 12 stitches, God smiting him for mocking the Holy Bible and lying about being a Christian.
                                    But whosoever shall deny me before men,
                                    him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
                                    ~Matt. 10:33
                                    ~~~~~~~
                                    Theme song in hell: "I Did it My Way"

                                      Comment

                                      • proteastantguy
                                        Confirmed Enemy of God
                                        • Aug 2010
                                        • 488
                                        #2260
                                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                        Originally posted by PetitionLady View Post
                                        True, true, true.

                                        The person below me is still laughing at Obama's 12 stitches, God smiting him for mocking the Holy Bible and lying about being a Christian.
                                        True.

                                        The person below me can't wait till the repuplicans wins election.

                                          Comment

                                          • ZoeyNeedsGod
                                            Forum Member
                                            Forum Member
                                            • Dec 2010
                                            • 33
                                            #2261
                                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                            Originally posted by proteastantguy View Post
                                            True.

                                            The person below me can't wait till the repuplicans wins election.
                                            Well since I live in Canada... American politics don't affect me as much, but TRUE! I agree with a lot of their policies.

                                            The person below me is married.
                                            Proverbs 31:30 "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised."

                                              Comment

                                              • Zen Spyder
                                                Confirmed Enemy of God
                                                • Dec 2010
                                                • 77
                                                #2262
                                                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                Originally posted by ZoeyNeedsGod View Post
                                                Well since I live in Canada... American politics don't affect me as much, but TRUE! I agree with a lot of their policies.

                                                The person below me is married.
                                                False. I am seeing someone, but I'm not married.

                                                The person below me is house-sitting for a friend while they're out of town.

                                                  Comment

                                                  • PetitionLady
                                                    Hates Obama. Really Hates Obama. Actually, REALLY REALLY REALLY Hates Obama.
                                                    Forum Member
                                                    • Nov 2010
                                                    • 883
                                                    #2263
                                                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                    Originally posted by Zen Spyder View Post
                                                    False. I am seeing someone, but I'm not married.

                                                    The person below me is house-sitting for a friend while they're out of town.
                                                    False.

                                                    The person below me bought a KJV Bible Trivia book yesterday and waited in a long line to do so.
                                                    But whosoever shall deny me before men,
                                                    him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
                                                    ~Matt. 10:33
                                                    ~~~~~~~
                                                    Theme song in hell: "I Did it My Way"

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Cranky Old Man
                                                        Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                                                        You kids get off his lawn!
                                                         
                                                        • Jan 2010
                                                        • 22354
                                                        #2264
                                                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                        Originally posted by PetitionLady View Post
                                                        The person below me bought a KJV Bible Trivia book yesterday and waited in a long line to do so.
                                                        False, all you need is already in the KJV1611 Holy Bible.

                                                        The person below me looks forward to burning down some Christmas trees.
                                                        5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                                                        To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                                                        James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Christina Nickson
                                                            Unsaved trash
                                                            • Dec 2010
                                                            • 60
                                                            #2265
                                                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                            Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                                                            False, all you need is already in the KJV1611 Holy Bible.

                                                            The person below me looks forward to burning down some Christmas trees.
                                                            I'm going to have to say that is false. The person below me is one of the Mighty Bruisers. http://www.landoverbaptist.org/bruise.html
                                                            Revelation 13:1-2 "1 And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy. 2 And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority."

                                                              Comment

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