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  • #1

    texas

    Unfortunately our warnings against the dangers of "Candy Crush Saga" have been ignored.

    Even worse, the Satanic Candy Crush empire now seeks valuation up to $7.6 Billion!

    It's hard to explain the horrors of Candy Crush without vomiting. What it boils down to is that girls, instead of cleaning the house and baking pies in accordance with Ephesians 5:22-24, are constantly staring at their gayPhones crushing candy. While they use one hand to play Candy Crush they use their other hand to constantly stuff their faces with candy as the game clearly creates a severe craving for candy. It is a known fact that all obese girls are lesbians and that all lesbians are sluts, so this completes the transition from a decent Christian girl to an obese lesbian slut!

    Promoting the obese lesbian slut role model:



    Before:After:
    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
    Tags: candy, candy crush, gluttony, god hates fatties
  • #2
    Re: Candy Crush Saga is changing innocent Christian girls into obese lesbian sluts!

    What has happened to our dear country? It used to be that a gal knew how to have a good time by preparing herself for motherhood. Keeping clean and tidy, quiet and supportive of her husband were values girls aspired to have. Why, my mother-in-law recalls the happy days when a new wife would proudly show her value to her husband by providing Proof Of Purity on the wedding night (Deuteronomy 22:20-21).



    These days, girls just want to get fat and play games.
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Candy Crush Saga is changing innocent Christian girls into obese lesbian sluts!

      Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
      Unfortunately our warnings against the dangers of "Candy Crush Saga" have been ignored.

      Even worse, the Satanic Candy Crush empire now seeks valuation up to $7.6 Billion!

      It's hard to explain the horrors of Candy Crush without vomiting. What it boils down to is that girls, instead of cleaning the house and baking pies in accordance with Ephesians 5:22-24, are constantly staring at their gayPhones crushing candy. While they use one hand to play Candy Crush they use their other hand to constantly stuff their faces with candy as the game clearly creates a severe craving for candy. It is a known fact that all obese girls are lesbians and that all lesbians are sluts, so this completes the transition from a decent Christian girl to an obese lesbian slut!

      Promoting the obese lesbian slut role model:



      Before:After:
      Those girls aren't even the same person. The girl on the left is Emma Watson from Harry Potter, and she still looks like she does in the "before" picture. I have no idea who that is in the second picture.
      Matthew 16:24-25
      Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.
      For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Candy Crush Saga is changing innocent Christian girls into obese lesbian sluts!

        Originally posted by Lauren the drunken mick View Post
        Those girls aren't even the same person. The girl on the left is Emma Watson from Harry Potter, and she still looks like she does in the "before" picture. I have no idea who that is in the second picture.
        Haven't you read Cranky's post, sweetie? It's the same person (that Emma whatever), after playing that game and eating too much candy.
        God created fossils to test our faith.

        * * *

        My favorite LBC sermons:
        True Christians are Perfect!
        True Christian™ Love.
        Salvation™ made Easy!
        You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
        Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
        Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
         Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
        Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
        The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
        Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
        God HATES Rational Thinking!
        True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Candy Crush Saga is changing innocent Christian girls into obese lesbian sluts!

          Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
          Haven't you read Cranky's post, sweetie? It's the same person (that Emma whatever), after playing that game and eating too much candy.
          You can tell it's the same person - it's just that in the second picture her hair looks darker because it is even more greasy.
          2 Timothy 3:16

          All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Candy Crush Saga is changing innocent Christian girls into obese lesbian sluts!

            Philippians 3:19 - Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.

            These girls have clearly rejected God in favor of their own gluttonous appetite.

            And though I know this verse is only for men, these women should still do us and God a favor according to Proverbs 23:2 - And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite.
            1 John 2:22 Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son.
            23:Whosoever denieth the Son, the same hath not the Father: he that acknowledgeth the Son hath the Father also.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Candy Crush Saga is changing innocent Christian girls into obese lesbian sluts!

              Originally posted by Lauren the drunken mick View Post
              Those girls aren't even the same person. The girl on the left is Emma Watson from Harry Potter, and she still looks like she does in the "before" picture. I have no idea who that is in the second picture.
              Exactly. Unrecognisable, isn't she?

              It makes me sad to see people ruining their lives with these pathetic games.
              But they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. (2 Chronicles 36:16)

              The Bible is perfect and contains ZERO contradictions: A True Christian™ guide to logic
              Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals: A guide for those without the "gaydar"
              "eSports": Become Usain Bolt without leaving your sofa

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Candy Crush Saga is changing innocent Christian girls into obese lesbian sluts!



                Sadly we see another victim of Candy Crush. See what this "game" did to this beautiful young lady. This is a before and after so sad! Prolonged playing resulted in her changing her sex!
                sigpic

                Charter Member Pearland, Texas

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Candy Crush Saga is changing innocent Christian girls into obese lesbian sluts!

                  Originally posted by TaraAnne View Post
                  Sadly we see another victim of Candy Crush. See what this "game" did to this beautiful young lady. This is a before and after so sad! Prolonged playing resulted in her changing her sex!
                  Beautiful? Young? Are you on drugs, young lady?
                  2 Timothy 3:16

                  All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Candy Crush Saga is changing innocent Christian girls into obese lesbian sluts!

                    Originally posted by TaraAnne View Post


                    Sadly we see another victim of Candy Crush. See what this "game" did to this beautiful young lady. This is a before and after so sad! Prolonged playing resulted in her changing her sex!
                    Those people aren't the same either.
                    Matthew 16:24-25
                    Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.
                    For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Candy Crush Saga is changing innocent Christian girls into obese lesbian sluts!

                      Originally posted by Lauren the drunken mick View Post
                      Those people aren't the same either.
                      Look at their eyes. Same eyes. "Windows to the soul," they say. These are windows to deep, dark pits of blackened despair. Poor thing.
                      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Candy Crush Saga is changing innocent Christian girls into obese lesbian sluts!

                        Originally posted by Lauren the drunken mick View Post
                        Those girls aren't even the same person.
                        Which part of "before" and "after" do you not get? Let me guess, you are obese yourself!?
                        5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                        To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                        James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Candy Crush Saga is changing innocent Christian girls into obese lesbian sluts!

                          As if that wasn't bad enough, the game is encouraged to be played by anyone over 4! They are taking the Lord's children and bloating them before they are old enough to fight back.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Candy Crush Saga is changing innocent Christian girls into obese lesbian sluts!

                            I find the greatest sin to be the mindlessness that Candy Crush induces. These young women could spend their time fruitfully by praying to Jesus to bring about Armageddon.
                            sigpic


                            “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                            Author of such illuminating essays as,
                            Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Candy Crush Saga is changing innocent Christian girls into obese lesbian sluts!

                              Yet more proof God is not pleased with Candy Crush Saga: CANDY CRUSH MAKER CLOSES DOWN 15.6% ON IPO DAY
                              5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                              To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                              James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                              Comment

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