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  • Billy Bob Jenkins
    Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
    About as Straight and Manly as you can get
    Hates anal sex. And trees.
    True Christian™
    • May 2010
    • 8337
    #16
    Re: Forum member

    Originally posted by Ron55555 View Post
    No Sir. We don't make a lot of money fathers job doesn't pay too much we aren't poor but we aren't very well off. I am sorry we don't have any assets,and father doesn't allow me to leave the house unless I am playing football. If I went to a pawn shop even if we had goods then that would be lying which is strictly forbidden, and would be disrespectful which is also strictly forbidden.
    Romans 3:7 says you are lying right now.
    The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

      Comment

      • Creationist Ron
        Confirmed Enemy of God
        BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
        • Nov 2012
        • 100
        #17
        Re: Forum member

        Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
        Romans 3:7 says you are lying right now.
        Sir I am lying to some extent. We do have some valuable assets and we do live near a pawn shop, but I can't sell fathers things that is Lieng and thieving, and I apologize for Lieng early, but I just can't sell fathers things. He would beat me brainless,and would probably go get his things back. Is there anyway I can still e a forum member I really want to be a member of the forums.

          Comment

          • Billy Bob Jenkins
            Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
            About as Straight and Manly as you can get
            Hates anal sex. And trees.
            True Christian™
            • May 2010
            • 8337
            #18
            Re: Forum member

            Originally posted by Ron55555 View Post
            Sir I am lying to some extent. We do have some valuable assets and we do live near a pawn shop, but I can't sell fathers things that is Lieng and thieving, and I apologize for Lieng early, but I just can't sell fathers things. He would beat me brainless,and would probably go get his things back. Is there anyway I can still e a forum member I really want to be a member of the forums.
            Not on Christ's dime, son.

            Ecclesiastes 5:10-15
            The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

              Comment

              • Creationist Ron
                Confirmed Enemy of God
                BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                • Nov 2012
                • 100
                #19
                Re: Forum member

                Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
                Not on Christ's dime, son.

                Ecclesiastes 5:10-15
                Sir please it says on the sticky forum that once the DOF determines rather or not I should be labeled otherwise I can be a form member. It didn't say anything about liquidating assets I would be more then willing to fork over the $20,but it's all I have Sir please.

                  Comment

                  • Cranky Old Man
                    Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                    You kids get off his lawn!
                     
                    • Jan 2010
                    • 22348
                    #20
                    Re: Forum member

                    Originally posted by Ron55555 View Post
                    Sir please it says on the sticky forum that once the DOF determines rather or not I should be labeled otherwise I can be a form member. It didn't say anything about liquidating assets I would be more then willing to fork over the $20,but it's all I have Sir please.
                    Jesus can not be bribed. Unless we are talking serious money that is, our Pastors will start paying attention when over $100,000 gets tithed.

                    Instead of focusing on irrelevant tags, you should be focusing on The Holy Bible. You should show Jesus you understand His work by often quoting His scripture!

                    Psalm 12:6–7 "The words of the Lord are pure words: As silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Thou shalt keep them, O Lord, Thou shalt preserve them from this generation for ever."
                    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                      Comment

                      • Creationist Ron
                        Confirmed Enemy of God
                        BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                        • Nov 2012
                        • 100
                        #21
                        Re: Forum member

                        Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                        Jesus can not be bribed. Unless we are talking serious money that is, our Pastors will start paying attention when over $100,000 gets tithed.

                        Instead of focusing on irrelevant tags, you should be focusing on The Holy Bible. You should show Jesus you understand His work by often quoting His scripture!

                        Psalm 12:6–7 "The words of the Lord are pure words: As silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Thou shalt keep them, O Lord, Thou shalt preserve them from this generation for ever."
                        Yes Sir I am sorry. I will start quoting scripture and make lots of Godly posts. If that happens and I don't have any assets to surrender is it still possible for me to become a member

                          Comment

                          • Cranky Old Man
                            Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                            You kids get off his lawn!
                             
                            • Jan 2010
                            • 22348
                            #22
                            Re: Forum member

                            Originally posted by Ron55555 View Post
                            If that happens and I don't have any assets to surrender is it still possible for me to become a member
                            That all depends on how much energy you put into pleasing Jesus.

                            John 14:6 "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."
                            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                              Comment

                              • Pastor Ezekiel
                                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                 
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 78551
                                #23
                                Re: Forum member

                                Originally posted by Ron55555 View Post
                                Sir please it says on the sticky forum that once the DOF determines rather or not I should be labeled otherwise I can be a form member. It didn't say anything about liquidating assets I would be more then willing to fork over the $20,but it's all I have Sir please.
                                You could sell your computer.
                                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                  Comment

                                  • Redeemed Papist
                                    Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light(c)
                                    True Christian™
                                    • Jul 2011
                                    • 10409
                                    #24
                                    Re: Forum member

                                    Who is this jabbering fool, what church does he go to and what is his favourite bible verse? Good grief! How difficult can it be?

                                    Hell awaits and God might kill you tomorrow. Hurry.
                                    sigpic
                                    Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                                    John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                                    Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                                    The truth about volcanos
                                    Sex and debauchery in public schools
                                    Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                                    God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                                    Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                                      Comment

                                      • Faith_Machine
                                        Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                                        True Christian™
                                        • Mar 2011
                                        • 10049
                                        #25
                                        Re: Forum member

                                        Originally posted by Ron55555 View Post
                                        Maybe after a while Sir,but I'm not sure I want to disclose a picture yet.
                                        Why not, my dear friend? I assure you, this is the kindest, gentlest bunch of people you could ever meet. You're safe here.
                                        WARNING:
                                        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                                        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                                          Comment

                                          • PetitionLady
                                            Hates Obama. Really Hates Obama. Actually, REALLY REALLY REALLY Hates Obama.
                                            Forum Member
                                            • Nov 2010
                                            • 883
                                            #26
                                            Re: Forum member

                                            Welcome, Ron. God must have brought you here. Praise!

                                            I treasure my "Forum Member" title, but it didn't happen overnight, sir, neither did my beautiful and coveted awards.

                                            My advice to you:

                                            1) More talk about God and less about you.
                                            2) Patience.

                                            Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. ~Psalm 27:14

                                            But whosoever shall deny me before men,
                                            him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
                                            ~Matt. 10:33
                                            ~~~~~~~
                                            Theme song in hell: "I Did it My Way"

                                              Comment

                                              • Creationist Ron
                                                Confirmed Enemy of God
                                                BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                                • Nov 2012
                                                • 100
                                                #27
                                                Re: Forum member

                                                Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
                                                Who is this jabbering fool, what church does he go to and what is his favourite bible verse? Good grief! How difficult can it be?

                                                Hell awaits and God might kill you tomorrow. Hurry.
                                                I am not a jabbering fool I made an introduction thread Sir. I don't think I will go to hell I already made introduction thread.

                                                Pastor Ezekiel The computer belongs to my father and if I sold it how would I be able to post?

                                                Faith Machine I will upload a picture soon but I need to upload it and all that.

                                                Petition Lady I will be sure to be patient and talk more about God.

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Ezekiel Bathfire
                                                    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                                                    Christ's Rottweiler
                                                     
                                                    • Jan 2008
                                                    • 22825
                                                    #28
                                                    Re: Forum member

                                                    Wanting to be a certain, higher spiritual status is a sure way of not being raised to that level. Those who put their trust and Faith in Jesus are content whatever their lot in life. To wish for more indicates that you are dissatisfied with what God has given you – blasphemy.

                                                    Q: Can a mere mortal then advise?
                                                    A: NO. For would not that person then be colluding with you in your greed and ambition? YES!

                                                    Q: So why do people offer advice?
                                                    A: Well, they do not forget the time they were imperfect and they compare it with the present Perfection of the True Christian. They cannot possibly understand how or why the change was made.
                                                    sigpic


                                                    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                                                    Author of such illuminating essays as,
                                                    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Dr Laurence Niles
                                                        Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
                                                         
                                                        • Jan 2012
                                                        • 9062
                                                        #29
                                                        Re: Forum member

                                                        Originally posted by Ron55555 View Post
                                                        I am not a jabbering fool I made an introduction thread Sir. I don't think I will go to hell I already made introduction thread
                                                        Watch your tongue there, rum sonny! Brother RP has long since moved on further than 'forum member' and you have the nerve to contradict him in your thread devoted to moving upwards in the spiritual realm?

                                                        Do you not see how the sin inside you is sabotaging your efforts?

                                                        Think on, young man!

                                                        YIC
                                                        1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                                                        Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                                                        Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Billy Bob Jenkins
                                                            Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
                                                            About as Straight and Manly as you can get
                                                            Hates anal sex. And trees.
                                                            True Christian™
                                                            • May 2010
                                                            • 8337
                                                            #30
                                                            Re: Forum member

                                                            Originally posted by Ron55555 View Post
                                                            Pastor Ezekiel The computer belongs to my father and if I sold it how would I be able to post?
                                                            Friend, why would you want to post on the internet, when you could instead go forth in a garment of sackcloth?
                                                            The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                                                              Comment

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