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  • #1

    Happy Birthday, Sister Daisy Mae!

    Have a Blessed Birthday, Sister.

    May you soon find Marital Happiness in the strong and yet gentle and delicate arms of your future husband, Pastor Flint.



    Generally, the omens for this birthday are excellent! As you are a delicate fragrant flower for Jesus, I searched for verses that would tell us about the shape of things to come!

    Song of Solomon 2:12
    The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;

    Verily, it is springtime. Daisies will appear, the birds frolic and sing. What about the turtle? What would God mean with this intriguing metaphor?



    It is a sign!



    Mr. Reagan, the greatest leader the World has ever had. He'll return in the form of the Donald! And all this because of your Birthday, Sister!



    For a birthday present, I present here some of the wonderful acting skills by Mr. Reagan for you to enjoy!




    Yours in Christ,

    Elmer
    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



    PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
    Check out our Research in Creation Science:
    Tags: daisy mae johnson, jesus, pastor ezekiel, ronald reagan, song of solomon
  • #2
    Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Daisy Mae!

    Happy Birthday Sistren! I will have another large spliff in your honor as soon as I finish the one in Brother Nobar King's honor.
    Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4

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    • #3
      Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Daisy Mae!

      A Blessed Birthday to you sister Daisy-Mae.

      Something exemplary is required:



      The wise and foolish virgins: I asked Pastor Zeke which he would prefer, and his answer was the one you'd expect.
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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      • #4
        Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Daisy Mae!

        Happy Birthday, Sister Daisy Mae!

        A modest birthday cake for the fairest of Landover Ladies:

        God created fossils to test our faith.

        * * *

        My favorite LBC sermons:
        True Christians are Perfect!
        True Christian™ Love.
        Salvation™ made Easy!
        You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
        Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
        Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
         Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
        Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
        The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
        Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
        God HATES Rational Thinking!
        True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

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        • #5
          Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Daisy Mae!

          A most blessed birthday to you, my Sister in Christ!
          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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          • #6
            Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Daisy Mae!

            Thank you my beloved brothers and sisters! I love you thiiiiiiiis much!



            sigpic

            Tweet me Here
            My GODLY Bio Here

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            • #7
              Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Daisy Mae!

              Blessed birthday, sister.
              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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              • #8
                Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Daisy Mae!

                Happy Birthday, Sugar Plum!

                I got you a pistol. I heard your old one was stolen and used in that shooting in Dillards during the spring sale. I suspect it will never be found.
                I was shopping with my wife, Mrs. Hutchins (what a horrible experience it is) and we were at Bobs Guns N' Ammo down town in Landover and a nice feminine trinket caught my eye. I do hope you do not think all the diamonds encrusted on it is too ostentatious. Though I know it would go so well with all the rings you wear that were gifts from your betrothed, Pastor Ezekiel.
                Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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                • #9
                  Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Daisy Mae!

                  Darling Sister in Christ! Have a most blessed birthday! "The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee" Numbers 6:25
                  "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

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                  • #10
                    Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Daisy Mae!

                    Happy Birthday to my favorite fiance. I hope you enjoyed the gift that I sent over.
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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