X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • #1

    Blessed Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

    Have a blessed Birthday, our beloved Pastor, also known as the lesser Ezekiel, the lesser Zeke. In your humility we know that you will cherish your eternal place of worship just a few feet away from the Greater Zeke, our beloved Pastor Flint. You'll be able to spend a nice time (eternally) worshiping and servicing Lord Jesus!


    Revelation 7:15
    Therefore are they before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple: and he that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among them.

    Jesus will comfort you and care for you just as He cares for even the tiniest of soulless Creatures. Glory.






    Yours in Christ,

    Elmer
    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



    PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
    Check out our Research in Creation Science:
    Tags: happy birthday
  • #2
    Re: Blessed Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

    I know this time of year is very hard on you, realizing another year has passed and Jesus has not grabbed your glowing soul to hold firmly to and between His magnificent taught Man-Bosoms.


    I got you a gift certificate for the 'Vintage Salt' for 365 meals of fish and chips. Hopefully that will speed your trip to be with Jesus. Stop by any of their outlets and mention my name.


    I have already sent a case of Macallan 1824 Series Scotch Single Malt Rare Cask to wash it down with.
    Attached Files
    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Blessed Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

      A most Blessed Birthday to you, Pastor!
      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Blessed Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

        Warmest greetings to you from all the family, Beloved Pastor.
        Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Blessed Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

          I love the way God blesses us with like-minded friends. Here we are, two spiritually sound men, proclaiming the good news of the death of Christ and his resurrection. Glory!


          May your day be full of His Grace. How I long to sit under you for just a day and absorb the knowledge of your many excursions into the Holy Bible 1611.


          With respect and prayers,
          BrotherLarry
          Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
          “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

          Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
          Amen and Amen

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Blessed Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

            Originally posted by Elmer G. White View Post

            Revelation 7:15
            Therefore are they before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple: and he that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among them.







            Yours in Christ,

            Elmer
            Inspirational! I didn't realize that my Faith could be even more strengthened

            Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
            I know this time of year is very hard on you, realizing another year has passed and Jesus has not grabbed your glowing soul to hold firmly to and between His magnificent taught Man-Bosoms.
            There are times, I will admit, when I have looked upon the leaders of the Free World and thought that Jesus might take me sooner from this path of thorns.
            I got you a gift certificate for the 'Vintage Salt' for 365 meals of fish and chips. Hopefully that will speed your trip to be with Jesus. Stop by any of their outlets and mention my name.
            A great kindness, Mrs Bathfire rarely bothers with "Vintage Salt" and you really can tell the difference, it's worth the extra $59/oz.
            I have already sent a case of Macallan 1824 Series Scotch Single Malt Rare Cask to wash it down with.
            I'll keep an eye out for that! Last time the mail man slurred something about their being some "evaporation" and then collapsed.
            Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
            A most Blessed Birthday to you, Pastor!
            I'm always amazed at how much you are blessed with being able to convey sincerity in every jot and tittle. Thank you.
            Originally posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
            Warmest greetings to you from all the family, Beloved Pastor.
            I will convey those blessings to my family as part of my sermon before we break bread this evening.
            Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
            I love the way God blesses us with like-minded friends. Here we are, two spiritually sound men, proclaiming the good news of the death of Christ and his resurrection. Glory!
            There is no nobler calling.
            May your day be full of His Grace. How I long to sit under you for just a day and absorb the knowledge of your many excursions into the Holy Bible 1611.
            Call on Wednesday evening, Mrs Bathfire will be out and we can continue undisturbed.
            sigpic


            “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

            Author of such illuminating essays as,
            Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Blessed Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

              I hope you had a very Blessed Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!


              Did you like the cake?




              God created fossils to test our faith.

              * * *

              My favorite LBC sermons:
              True Christians are Perfect!
              True Christian™ Love.
              Salvation™ made Easy!
              You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
              Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
              Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
               Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
              Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
              The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
              Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
              God HATES Rational Thinking!
              True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

              Comment

              Previous template Next
              Working...
              X