[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

Sad to say, those punks got away, though I'm sure that they're still out there lurking in the shadows. I hope that you can catch them before they endanger the lives of good, hardworking white Christian folk.

Thank you for the tip, Buford. Rest assured, I will be spending quite a lot of time hanging around the playground for the next several weeks.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

Officer Don, first, congratulations on busting those two vicious gangbangers. I applaud your zero-tolerance policy. Personally, considering that you had no backup, if it had been me I think that I'd shoot first and ask questions later, but I admire you for your self-control. Your ability to remain calm in the face of danger and not overreact is just amazing.

I just wanted to mention that when I attended your 4th of July wedding, we drove past the playground adjacent to the Genesis Nursery School and there were two young punks (I'd estimate maybe age 6) that were having a gang fight with water pistols. I would have called you right away - I'm sure that you wouldn't have minded interrupting your wedding ceremony for a bit of law enforcement - but I didn't have a cell phone. Sad to say, those punks got away, though I'm sure that they're still out there lurking in the shadows. I hope that you can catch them before they endanger the lives of good, hardworking white Christian folk.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Policing Freehold

MONDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2009

This morning I was cruising down town when I stopped for a red light just in front of the Freehold Fitness Center. As and Officer of the Law, I am always on the lookout for trouble and things that are out of the ordinary.

Well I'll tell you it didn't but two seconds for me to see two young men breaking the law inside. They were fist fighting! I immediately jumped out of my cruiser and ran inside.

I think these two men must have been engaged in a gang initiation because they were wearing boxing gloves. One set was red and the other was blue, so I bet they were Bloods and Crisps.

My intense police training immediately took over and I made a running leap through the air with arms outstretched and body-slammed them both to the ground. With the two men subdued on the ground I immediately drew my pepper spray and alternated between spraying both their faces.

The cuffs came out quick and before they knew it they were in the back of my patrol car.

"So what's the story? Your gangs are battling for control of Freehold Fitness Center?" I asked.

Well they weren't so tough now and they just blubbered about how they were friends who were "boxing for exercise." I didn't believe them for a minute of course. They had no proof that they had known each other since junior high, which is what they told me.

They went to jail for assault and battery. The citizens of Freehold can sleep peacefully knowing that two vicious gang members are off the streets.

You are soooo brave! Those Crisps are dangerous and deadly! He could have whipped out a knife and tried to slice you up with it! I bet he was a filthy Messicant wasn't he?

Thank you so much for so bravely protecting Freehold. With you and JESUS on patrol we feel very safe and secure.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Policing Freehold

I don't buy their BS story one bit. If they were "friends" why would they be beating each other up? I'd never slug a friend in the face and I expect my friends would not hit me either. What probably happened is they were too rival gang members, and got all up in each other's faces in the gym. At the gym, lots of guys like to act macho and tough. It wouldn't be long before they resorted to fisticuffs.

Good work, Officer Don.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

MONDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2009

This morning I was cruising down town when I stopped for a red light just in front of the Freehold Fitness Center. As and Officer of the Law, I am always on the lookout for trouble and things that are out of the ordinary.

Well I'll tell you it didn't but two seconds for me to see two young men breaking the law inside. They were fist fighting! I immediately jumped out of my cruiser and ran inside.

I think these two men must have been engaged in a gang initiation because they were wearing boxing gloves. One set was red and the other was blue, so I bet they were Bloods and Crisps.

My intense police training immediately took over and I made a running leap through the air with arms outstretched and body-slammed them both to the ground. With the two men subdued on the ground I immediately drew my pepper spray and alternated between spraying both their faces.

The cuffs came out quick and before they knew it they were in the back of my patrol car.

"So what's the story? Your gangs are battling for control of Freehold Fitness Center?" I asked.

Well they weren't so tough now and they just blubbered about how they were friends who were "boxing for exercise." I didn't believe them for a minute of course. They had no proof that they had known each other since junior high, which is what they told me.

They went to jail for assault and battery. The citizens of Freehold can sleep peacefully knowing that two vicious gang members are off the streets.

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

I have Puddleses #1, 2 and 3 too, Sister!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Policing Freehold

FPD PREPS FOR HALLOWEEN

The Freehold Police Department has been preparing for the devil's birthday and we are enacting a zero-tolerance ban on all Halloween decorations and celebrations.

Banned decorations include but are not limited to: Ghosts, witches, skeletons, jackolanterns, cauldrons, black cats, the color orange used with black, pitchforks, tombstones, coffins, black candles and inflatable pentagrams.

Persons found in violation of this ban will be subject to no less than four weeks imprisonment and will be required to undergo Bible study and rehabilitation during their sentence.

Please don't shoot or arrest Puddles (or me). You see I dress him up as a demon about this time every year to scare away any small kids or pets who want to come playin my yard or use it as a toilet.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

FPD PREPS FOR HALLOWEEN

The Freehold Police Department has been preparing for the devil's birthday and we are enacting a zero-tolerance ban on all Halloween decorations and celebrations.

Banned decorations include but are not limited to: Ghosts, witches, skeletons, jackolanterns, cauldrons, black cats, the color orange used with black, pitchforks, tombstones, coffins, black candles and inflatable pentagrams.

Persons found in violation of this ban will be subject to no less than four weeks imprisonment and will be required to undergo Bible study and rehabilitation during their sentence.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

And they come in the most Attractive shades of Vinyl, too! Let's see: Tan, Beige, Gray....my GOD, I just can't think of them all!

Of course the large (also Vinyl) non-functioning shutters come in dark colors to accentuate it

That's the great thing about these McMansions. They look good enough to sell for ultra-high prices (and profits!), but won't last long enough for anybody to actually pay off the mortgage. But that's OK, since nobody these days pays off the mortgage. The idea is to use financial innovation to flip the house for a profit, then get out and leave it as an abandoned foreclosed property. Then, it can become free housing for vagrants (who says we Christians don't want to help the poor!), before being gutted for plumbing fixtures and wiring, condemned, and torn down at government expense.

It's a sure winner for the buyer, who walks away after five years after turning the keys over to the bank. It's a sure winner for the banks too, who turn the mortgages into mortgage-backed securities. These junk-grade investments are then rated Triple-AAA by ratings agencies and sold to pensions funds, municipalities and even foreign banks. I especially like the idea of selling them to foreign banks - boy, I'd love to see the look on the faces of them retarded Chinese and Euroweenie CEOs when they finally discover what worthless crap they've bought!

"Financial innovation" - it's made America rich, loved and respected throughout the world.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

they could have bought a McMansion in an exclusive sururban area?

And they come in the most Attractive shades of Vinyl, too! Let's see: Tan, Beige, Gray....my GOD, I just can't think of them all!

Of course the large (also Vinyl) non-functioning shutters come in dark colors to accentuate it

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Policing Freehold

Not to change the subject entirely, but it looks like the literacy tests for gun permits are starting to pay off, especially the country music and golf trivia questions.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

After it was all said and done, he was jailed for vagrancy, conducting business without a peddler's license, public profanity (he said the F-word), and littering.

Some people just don't want to grow up and live productive lives.

Good job, Officer Don! That's one more criminal who won't be walking the streets endangering the lives of good white Christian folks. You probably should have charged him as a sex criminal as well, seeing how he was exposing his dirty clothes and vagrant lifestyle in full view of children!

I just don't understand these homeless people. Do they realize that if they'd just borrowed $500,000 dollars from a good subprime lender like Countrywide Financial, they could have bought a McMansion in an exclusive sururban area? Their payments would be really low for the first two years before the loan resets.

Then, if they can't pay the monthly mortgage at the new quadruple rates after the reset, all they'd have to do is take out a home equity loan and use that money to pay the original mortgage.

After they've exhausted the money from the home equity loan, then they could apply for a credit card from their bank. The credit card can be used pay the monthly mortgage at an interest rate of only 30% annually. And once that source of funds has dried up, they can apply for a new credit card from Capital One. That's a really great company - they once pre-approved a credit card for my dog, even after the dog died! Anyway, they can use the Capital One credit card to pay off the other credit card, plus the home equity loan and the original subprime loan. Plus they might put a little money aside to short the stocks of companies like Countrywide and Capital One.

Using the above Ponzi financial techniques, one could live very well indeed for at least five years before becoming homeless.

America has the greatest financial system in the world. The geniuses on Wall Street who created it certainly deserve the government-financed mega-bonuses that they are receiving. Just makes me so proud to be an American!


What's in your pocket?

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 13, 2009

I was out on Malachi road again today, and I saw some nasty guy in a ratty coat picking up bottles and cans and stuffing them into a black trash bag. I chirped my siren and rolled up behind him.

It was really cold today and I didn't want to get out of my cruiser so I motioned for him to come on over where I could talk to him out of my window.

"Is something wrong officer?" he asked. When perps ask this, you know they're up to no good.

"I'm just wondering why you're walking down the road in a ratty old coat stuffing crap into a trash bag." I said.

"I'm gathering up bottles and cans to take to the recycling center. When I make enough money recycling litter I'll buy a new coat." he said.

"You got a peddler's license?" I asked.

At this point the man became indignant and said he didn't even have a home, let alone a peddler's license.

"So you figured you'd just try and slip one past the law and peddle your wares to the recycling center without applying for and obtaining the proper permits to do so, huh?"

He became hostile at this point and I had to threaten him with the tazer to put his hands behind his back and stand on tippy-toes with his back to my car window so I could get the cuffs on him without getting out, and then had him open the backseat car door and get in.

I was on my way back to the station with him when I realized he had left his trash bag on the side of the road, so I had to add an additional fine for littering.

After it was all said and done, he was jailed for vagrancy, conducting business without a peddler's license, public profanity (he said the F-word), and littering.

Some people just don't want to grow up and live productive lives.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

Dear Brother Buford, are the secular Police still arresting you for driving while being "schizophrenic?"

Sickening the lengths they'll go to in attempting try and drag down a True Christian

Dear Sister SUV,

My schizophrenia is a blessing. It allows me to do many wonderful things, like communicate with the Lord via radio transmissions sent through the fillings in my teeth. I get messages from Rush Limbaugh and Ronald Reagan too!

But anyway, I have indeed suffered persecution, though not because of schizophrenia. Sadly, I've been harassed by liberal police (some of whom are ACORN members!) simply because I'm a Christian. Of course, these "officers" who hassle me won't say that I'm being stopped for "driving while Christian," but that's what it amounts to. They take exception to my car, and particularly the loudspeakers blasting tidings from Jesus:



It's so unfair. Atheists don't believe in freedom of speech - whenever I bring the Good News of Jesus (at 100 decibels at 2 am) they immediately call the storm troopers to persecute me! Sadly, policemen down here in Wacko, Texas, aren't all so enlightened as Officer Don. You are indeed lucky to have him in Freehold!

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

Dear Brother Buford, are the secular Police still arresting you for driving while being "schizophrenic?"

Sickening the lengths they'll go to in attempting try and drag down a True Christian