[Nobar King]

Re: Policing Freehold

Brother Buford, I notice that the label of the one on the Right says, "SERVE COLD" while the other one advises, "SERVE VERY COLD."

You sure have good eyes, sweetie.

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

Brother Buford, I notice that the label of the one on the Right says, "SERVE COLD" while the other one advises, "SERVE VERY COLD."

So! Perhaps one might get to spinnin' even quicker if drinking ("What's the Word?") Thunderbird, as opposed to Night Train-Hell Train?

Simply wondering

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

This is a very touching story, Officer Don. I got a bit choked up, though of course I don't do sissy-homo crying or anything like that.

Anyway, about that woman driver. As the inferior sex, women do have a problem operating cars or other complicated machinery. That's why it's best for women to stay home baking pies, scrubbing floors and raising Christian children. In case they raise any objection to that, a few gentle love taps with a baseball bat usually brings them around to a correct way of thinking.

Sometimes Christian men drive erratically like you described above. Especially when they've been taking a few religious sacraments along with their Bible studies.



But it's nothing to be concerned about. Whenever I drive, I know that God is my co-pilot. Therefore there's really no danger to others no matter what my blood alcohol level, or even if I'm conscious.



yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

Guess I owe you one, Officer Don PRAISE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 7, 2009

Got behind a car on the highway that was weaving back and fourth and speeding up and slowing down. Pulled the driver over and radioed in the tag for ID and wants.

Seems the car is registered to a good Christian woman, and of course there were no wants.

I approached the driver and I immediately noticed that she was distressed. Her eyes were glazed and bloodshot and she had trouble forming sentences. I asked her what the problem was, and she explained that she was listening to praise music on the way home, and the Holy Spirit simply overwhelmed her with the amazing love of God.

I was so moved I took of my hat, had a short prayer with her, and sent her on her way.

Being a cop means that I see some of the worst people humanity has to offer on a daily basis. It's times like these, when I get to meet some of the best, that really make it worthwhile.

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

I have always wondered how the un$avED can wear these sorts of things. Isn't it at least uncomfortable if not downRight Painful?

And doesn't it get kinda stinky awful quick?

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

But . . . but . . . Sister Victory is a MARRIED WOMAN!

I trust that Sister Victory won't be wearing one of these...



I doubt that they make them in that size.

Praise the Lord!
Brother Buford

[JennyD]

Re: Policing Freehold

To our boys in security: You need to bring any girls caught wearing one of those get-ups directly to my Pastor's Study for interrogation. Day or night.

But . . . but . . . Sister Victory is a MARRIED WOMAN!

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

See? Who says there's never a cop (please pardon my vulgarity, Officer Don!) around when you REALLY NEED ONE.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2009

Received a domestic disturbance call around 9:15 PM to the low-income apartments in the southwest district of Freehold.

It was a typical situation: A couple was fighting and the neighbors called the Boys in Blue to come settle the dispute.

I could hear shouting all the way down the hall before I even knocked on apartment 17, where the fight was taking place. I used my flashlight to bang on the door, and alerted the occupants that the Freehold PD was on the scene.

After a minute the door swung open and there stood your typical meth-head. "Your neighbors called you in for disturbing the peace" I said. She said the 'S' word which I promptly ticketed her for.

The stench of marijuana and Lord knows what else coming from the apartment was almost enough to knock me over, but I've seen it all. "I'm going to come inside your apartment, so if you've got anything illegal in here you better let me know right now" I warned. "My boyfriend has some weed" admitted the rotting woman before me. "Your boyfriend?!" I exclaimed. "Do you two have sexual intercourse with one another?" She confirmed that they do indeed engage in sexual activity. "Are you aware that the Holy Bible says that sex outside of marriage is a sin?" I recited 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5:

3For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:
4That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;
5Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:


At this point her dope-head boyfriend opened up his rotted-out mouth and said they don't "give a *bad word*" what the Bible says. At this point I drew my tazer and commanded them both to place their hands on top of their heads and face the wall. I slapped the cuffs on them and told them they were under arrest for sexual immorality.


I never did find out what they were fighting about, but it doesn't matter now anyway. I found all kinds of pot and meth in their apartment.



It's really satisfying to get in, do the job, and get out. The system works.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Policing Freehold

Everyone, forgive me for publishing the following graphic photo, but words alone cannot express my shock and horror that there are women (and girls!) who wear these things in public:



Officer Don, do you think you can do something about this? It might be necessary to set up a traffic block and do random checks on potential sluts who could be wearing these Satanic garments underneath their outer clothing. I would be willing to volunteer for such duty if you need any help.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

To our boys in security: You need to bring any girls caught wearing one of those get-ups directly to my Pastor's Study for interrogation. Day or night.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

Everyone, forgive me for publishing the following graphic photo, but words alone cannot express my shock and horror that there are women (and girls!) who wear these things in public:



Officer Don, do you think you can do something about this? It might be necessary to set up a traffic block and do random checks on potential sluts who could be wearing these Satanic garments underneath their outer clothing. I would be willing to volunteer for such duty if you need any help.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

This is not some small fashion issue. These are the kind of shoes that hookers on the streets wear. Trust me, as an Officer of the Law, I have encountered my fair share of hookers.

Also, lesbians wear these shoes and use the heels to molest themselves.

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

Consider it done. This kind of whoring doesn't go unnoticed by the Freehold PD.

Mmmmm...."whoring," Officer? A Lady must keep her heels dry!

The toes don't matter so much. It's kind of fun when your toes get wet and they get all squishy-squashy, squishy-squashy....Squidgy?

(I think MY Tiara is lovelier - don't you?)

Well anyway, a Christian Lady simply must have all the "fun" that is allowed by Pastor/JESUS!

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

I Believe the first thing you should investigate is the Lady who has been wearing these to Church. Why, our Dear Mother Glynndie is in such a tizzy over it!

Consider it done. This kind of whoring doesn't go unnoticed by the Freehold PD.