[Roadwarriorforchrist]

Re: Policing Freehold

Glad you made it through the night safely, and thank God you were there for Freehold. I had to load up my rock salt shells in my old 10 gauge, the 12 wasn't putting out enough punch to the far sides of my property lines. Hopefully I can afford to move to Freehold before I have to go through that again next year.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2009

Well I hope after last night you all can understand and appreciate the kind of dangers that a True Christian Officer of the Law has to face.

I was shocked at the number of kids in this city who blatantly disregard laws we have against soliciting people for candy while wearing costumes.

Many of you called to report that you were hearing sirens zooming by all evening long. That's because I was all over this city beating the devil at his own game!

Armies of darkness descended upon Freehold last night and I was there on the front lines, fighting for the Light of God. I confiscated so much candy that it's going to take a month for me and Vicky to eat it all. I used so much pepper spray I had to go back to the Department twice to get more.

I sure am sore this morning. Chasing, wrestling, kicking, screaming, tazing, spraying, body-slamming... I did it all last night. Ten-year-olds under the influence of satan know how to put up a fight but they didn't call me Don "the sledge hammer" Richards in police academy for nothing.

Reverend Jim, you may have noticed a ballerina walking up your steps with a trick or treat sack, ready for candy. I have no idea how she got over your fence, let alone past the security gates on your street, but thank God I was there to protect you. It's a shame she had to take off running through your flowerbed like that, but rest assured she was charged with evading an Officer of the Law, and had a nasty run-in with the business end of my flashlight.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Policing Freehold

Ofc Richards, I hope that you'll be doubly careful tonight, it being satan's birthday and all. God's favorite church is always a target for witches, goths and assorted perverts on this particular night. I assume you got the shipment of Chick Tracts we sent over, so you should be able to save a few souls.

By the way I checked into that question you had the other day about the witch hunt. I'm sorry to tell you that under the rules of the hunt, any witches you bag while on duty won't count as part of your total. Killing witches is part of your job, so it just wouldn't be fair.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

Officer Don, I want to report a crime to you. This morning I woke up to $100 missing from my wallet and I think one of my maids stole it. Now last night, I admit, I got slightly carried away with the Glenlivet 25 Year-Old and blacked out, but I might've remembered driving in my car to the Song of Solomon Gentleman's Club in downtown Freehold, and I kinda have a flash of memory or two of Savannah dancing for me in the private room...but I was very, very drunk, so my memory can't be trusted. It could've been a hallucination because of the excess Scotch.

Anyways, I think my maid Rosarita stole the money. My wife insists that Rosarita went home at 10:00 pm (I made her stay extra hours and docked her pay for for doing substandard work on the laundry folding), but you know how those Mexicans are. They'll sneak into your closets until you go to bed and then they'll pounce. I am 110% sure Rosarita took my money.

Please look into this matter. These Mexicans are getting underpaid so they'll do anything to steal money. It's sad to see the day when greedy Mexicans steal from Godly and morally upright pastors like me. Thanks for your help.

-Rev. Jim

Rev. Jim, it's always the same old story. These filthy Mexican animals will steal from you every chance they get. If you like, you can haul Rosarita into the FPD for me to question, and we can take turns interrogating her. If you want to bring a friend, that's fine too.

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

death panels to euthanize grandma

You mean Kill someone who might be someone's old Grandmaw?

Killing is only desirable when it is in the King James Version (1611) of the Holy Bible!!!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Policing Freehold

Officer Don, I want to report a crime to you. This morning I woke up to $100 missing from my wallet and I think one of my maids stole it. Now last night, I admit, I got slightly carried away with the Glenlivet 25 Year-Old and blacked out, but I might've remembered driving in my car to the Song of Solomon Gentleman's Club in downtown Freehold, and I kinda have a flash of memory or two of Savannah dancing for me in the private room...but I was very, very drunk, so my memory can't be trusted. It could've been a hallucination because of the excess Scotch.

Anyways, I think my maid Rosarita stole the money. My wife insists that Rosarita went home at 10:00 pm (I made her stay extra hours and docked her pay for for doing substandard work on the laundry folding), but you know how those Mexicans are. They'll sneak into your closets until you go to bed and then they'll pounce. I am 110% sure Rosarita took my money.

Please look into this matter. These Mexicans are getting underpaid so they'll do anything to steal money. It's sad to see the day when greedy Mexicans steal from Godly and morally upright pastors like me. Thanks for your help.

-Rev. Jim

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

OH my God!!!! Those youths do need help and they have a right to be angry, angry at pigs like you! They are trapped at Landover maximum Security gated community, not allowed to even dance, let alone leave the 'community" and go out into the real world!

Why would anyone want to leave the Landover Maximum Security Gated Community? It's a small paradise on Earth. Of course, down here in Texas it's pretty close to paradise too. We got more racial harmony than you can shake your pecker at - or at least we will as soon as we deport all the Negroes and Mexiricans.

They need to go to sensitivity training and you officer, need to go to prison for turning a blind eye to hate crimes!

Hah, hah! Now this is surely a case of the pot calling the kettle "black." Here you are whining about hate crimes, while at the same time you are spouting hate talk against good white Christian police officers - a persecuted minority group. Didn't Osambo just sign a law against that kind of talk? You'd better watch your step Dwayne, or you gonna find yourself breaking rocks in Fort Leavenbread next to other hate criminals like Reverend Jeremiah Wright and Bill Ayers.

I can't believe I used to be part of your cult.

Now Dwayne, you'd better get your facts straight. The Landover Baptist Church is not a cult. A cult, by definition, is just a small group of fanatics holding a false belief. Like Muslims, for example. We Christians here at LBC speak The Truth, as God stated it in the King James Bible. You ought to know better than to call us a cult.

I'll pray for you, though it probably won't do any good. Just remember, if you don't get right with our loving God, he's gonna fry you for all eternity.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[Dwayne DeKalb]

Re: Policing Freehold

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2009

Every once in a while I take a swing through the old Landover train yard. You find a lot of drug and gang activity out there.

Well, it was after dark so I had my spotlight on, when it swept across three figures standing near an old box car. I rolled up to them and jumped out of my cruiser ready for action.

The picture was pretty clear to me: Three white teenagers with cans of spray paint, freshly sprayed white power symbols and slogans, and three young, scared faces.

I didn't recognize the kids, but already knew what they were up to.

Painted on the side of the car were images of black-faced 'gangstas' hanging from trees captioned with "die nigger, die!", flaming crosses, Swastikas and stylized Confederate flags.

As I stood there looking at their artwork and looking at their fearful faces, I realized I was dealing with some very angry young men. But then I thought to myself, "Who among us isn't angry?" Aren't we all confused and angry about the takeover of America by Latinos and blacks? Aren't we all backed into a corner, with our numbers dwindling and tax dollars being handed out to unemployed coloreds and Mexicans?

I'm not sure how many minutes passed, but nobody said anything. There was no need for words. I just got back in the cruiser and drove off.

How could I punish somebody for being proud of their heritage?

OH my God!!!! Those youths do need help and they have a right to be angry, angry at pigs like you! They are trapped at Landover maximum Security gated community, not allowed to even dance, let alone leave the 'community" and go out into the real world!

They need to go to sensitivity training and you officer, need to go to prison for turning a blind eye to hate crimes!

I can't believe I used to be part of your cult. Boys, if you read this, i can help you! We have a shelter for youth escaping religious cults. We will be on Larry King soon, so keep an eye out!
Or e-mail me at
escapefromhell@AOL.com

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2009

Every once in a while I take a swing through the old Landover train yard. You find a lot of drug and gang activity out there.

Well, it was after dark so I had my spotlight on, when it swept across three figures standing near an old box car. I rolled up to them and jumped out of my cruiser ready for action.

The picture was pretty clear to me: Three white teenagers with cans of spray paint, freshly sprayed white power symbols and slogans, and three young, scared faces.

I didn't recognize the kids, but already knew what they were up to.

Painted on the side of the car were images of black-faced 'gangstas' hanging from trees captioned with "die nigger, die!", flaming crosses, Swastikas and stylized Confederate flags.

As I stood there looking at their artwork and looking at their fearful faces, I realized I was dealing with some very angry young men. But then I thought to myself, "Who among us isn't angry?" Aren't we all confused and angry about the takeover of America by Latinos and blacks? Aren't we all backed into a corner, with our numbers dwindling and tax dollars being handed out to unemployed coloreds and Mexicans?

I'm not sure how many minutes passed, but nobody said anything. There was no need for words. I just got back in the cruiser and drove off.

How could I punish somebody for being proud of their heritage?

That was such a touching story it brought a tear to my eye. Not that I would cry like a sissy homo, you understand. But still...

Anyway, I'm sure that those fine young men will now act responsibly after their brush with the law. In the future, they'll be more careful to make sure that they don't get caught. We Christians can forgive them for their errors of judgement - after all, even George W Bush had a wild youth but went on to become the greatest president in world history.

I, too, can understand the anger that those young men must feel. With ACORN stealing elections and running death panels to euthanize grandma, I can barely contain my rage. Fortunately, down here in Texas we'll be seceding from the United States Socialist Republic (USSR) soon enough, and then we'll begin the task of building a theocracy based on the King James Bible. Abortion, interracial marriage and speaking non-English gibberish will all be outlawed - it's going to be a showcase of freedom and democracy! I can hardly wait!

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2009

Every once in a while I take a swing through the old Landover train yard. You find a lot of drug and gang activity out there.

Well, it was after dark so I had my spotlight on, when it swept across three figures standing near an old box car. I rolled up to them and jumped out of my cruiser ready for action.

The picture was pretty clear to me: Three white teenagers with cans of spray paint, freshly sprayed white power symbols and slogans, and three young, scared faces.

I didn't recognize the kids, but already knew what they were up to.

Painted on the side of the car were images of black-faced 'gangstas' hanging from trees captioned with "die nigger, die!", flaming crosses, Swastikas and stylized Confederate flags.

As I stood there looking at their artwork and looking at their fearful faces, I realized I was dealing with some very angry young men. But then I thought to myself, "Who among us isn't angry?" Aren't we all confused and angry about the takeover of America by Latinos and blacks? Aren't we all backed into a corner, with our numbers dwindling and tax dollars being handed out to unemployed coloreds and Mexicans?

I'm not sure how many minutes passed, but nobody said anything. There was no need for words. I just got back in the cruiser and drove off.

How could I punish somebody for being proud of their heritage?

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

Great job again, Officer Don. If this keeps up, you'll no doubt soon be promoted to police chief!

As for those fornicators, this is just the result of that there sex education in public schools. Ever since Osambo stole the presidency (with the help of ACORN), students have been forced to listen to such nonsense like "condoms can prevent AIDS" and "birth-control pills prevent pregnancy." Of course, when George W Bush was president, students heard the truth - that abstinence-only was the answer, and that masturbation would lead to blindness and hair growing on your palms.

With Osambo in the "White House" (ought to be renamed now), I'm afraid this fornication problem is gonna really gonna spiral out of control. The homo population is already exploding, and it won't be long before people start going to motels to have sex with their pets. After all, it was having sex with chimps that created negroes in the first place. Anyway, I sure feel safer with Officer Don on the job!

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

Godly, Ofc. Richards. Simply....GODLY

And I'm Sure© that you remembered to cite these homer!s for apparently having driven this little ant of a "vehicle" (Plymouth Sunfire) along our highways and causing problems for real traffic (like that below).

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 22, 2009

I went cruising out by Landover Lake this evening and I came across a white Sunfire parked in front of a picnic area. Well this could only mean one or two things: Either somebody was doing drugs, or they were engaging in lustful sins of the flesh. Or both.

I jumped out of my cruiser and ran up to the driver's door. If there was something bad going on inside I wanted to see it. I banged on the door with my flashlight to alert them of my presence. (I'm pretty sure the door was already dented, but I may have left a tiny mark.)

Boy were they surprised to see me! I told them that a family picnic area was NOT the place to shame the Lord and their families, and if they didn't scram they'd have themselves a big fat ticket.

They made some insincere apology and then drove off.

Now, as an Officer of the Law, I know how kids are today. When you tell them not to do something, they just wait till you're not looking. I had an hour left on my shift, so I decided to follow them from a distance.

Well, our little journey ended at a seedy motel out by the highway. The two lustful lovers disappeared quickly into the lobby, and like a ninja, I followed them inside, undetected.

Most people don't know this about me, but I can just melt into any environment. I can be anywhere at any time and nobody knows anything about it. Fortunately, this was made really easy because there was a gigantic potted plant right there by the door, and I slipped silently behind it without even breaking a twig.

The kid went up to the dirty looking Mexican clerk and said "We need a room."

"How long?" the clerk asked.

"Just tonight." The pervert responded.

"$29.00" the clerk said.

The kid handed him a wad of cash, and the clerk handed the kid a key and said "room 14."

The two disappeared down the hall, and with liquid motion, I emerged from the plant like I had just strolled in through the door.

"I need to use your phone" I said. The clerk scooted it towards me, and I promptly dialed room 14. It rang for a bit and then a frustrated female voice answered. I cleared my throat and loudly recited 1 Corinthians 6:18: Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

All I heard was a loud click and then no response.

"I need a spare key to room 14" I said. When Mr. Mexican protested, I drew my tazer, aimed it at his head and shouted "POLICE BUSINESS, DO NOT INTERFERE!" Boy, you should've seen that toothless rat of a Mexican toss over the keys!

I ran down the hall, jammed the key into the lock and kicked the door open. The first thing I saw was the girl with her sweater pulled up over her head, in the process of removing it! This was a time for action! I lunged through the air and tackled her onto the bed. Demonic shrieks filled the room as she thrashed beneath me, with head and arms trapped within her sweater. "GET YE BEHIND ME SATAN" I shouted. I used my hands to cover her shameful breasts and told her to stop resisting.

It was at this point that her thug boyfriend attacked. He grabbed me by the shoulders and attempted to fling me off of his whore, but I was too much man for him to handle. I rolled off of the harlot and whipped my tazer out and planted a barb right in his bare chest. He fell to the floor in a heap and I slapped the cuffs on him.

All I could hear was the filthy swearing of his girlfriend as she attempted to get her head and arms from out of her sweater. I whipped out the ol' pepper spray, shoved the bottle down her turtle neck and just started spraying where I thought her face would be. Her curses turned to incoherent screams. I reached in, grabbed her arm and handcuffed her to the bed.

I grabbed her boyfriend up off the floor and escorted him to my patrol car. I came back and sat down on the bed next to the crying harlot and we had a nice little chat about resisting arrest and being a naughty slut. Eventually I uncuffed her and sat her in the back of the car right next to her boyfriend.

In the end, they'll have a lot of time to think about the benefits of abstinence and respect for authority as they serve their sentences. In separate cells.

Over and out.

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

Officer, you were so brave to suddue that awful Crypt! And, the "Blood."

I Cringe in horror to think of how difficult your Job will be on Hellywe'en night

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Policing Freehold

The surefire way to tell that a Nigra is lying to you is if they break a sweat. Did you notice if the two lying Nigras at the Freehold Fitness Center were sweating? Because that's a dead giveaway, I've heard.