LBC drop-out rates explained!

[Father Maurice Lester]

Unlike Catholicism, where few stray from the view of Rome, LandRover Baptist seems to be unable to keep their flock together and not just because of high incarceration rates it turns out!

It seems that by ignoring the centuries of wonderful music made by good Catholic boys and listening instead to hayseed twang they have doomed themselves once again in the eyes of our Lord and Heavenly Father.

I quote: "Country music is hypothesized to nurture a suicidal mood through its concerns with problems common in the suicidal population, such as marital discord, alcohol abuse, and alienation from work... The existence of a country music subculture is thought to reinforce the link
between country music and suicide."

Now we know why so many LBC "True Christians" tend to disappear shortly after joining here. How very, very sad.

Give a bunch of drunk trailer trash some guns and a few Merle records and before you know it there's cerebellum stew all over the kitchenette walls.


Do yourselves a favour and give up this cult before it is too late. Come join the Holy Roman Church and learn what real Christians have known for two thousand years.


Bless you, my future colander noggins,
Father Mo






.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: LBC drop-out rates explained!

I don't believe that even you concluded that the church of Rome is the answer! First you have your goddess song - perhaps the worst attempt at a hymn in Christendom

Immaculate, Mary!
Our hearts are on fire.
That title so wondrous
Fills all our desire!

We pray for God's glory,
May His Kingdom come.
We pray for His Vicar,
Our Father, and Rome.

We pray for our Mother,
The Church upon earth.
And bless, sweetest Lady,
The land of our birth.
Ave, Ave, Ave, Maria!
Ave, Ave, Ave, Maria!

Chorus
Ave, Ave, Ave, Maria!
Ave, Ave, Ave, Maria!


I have made that difficult to read so Baptists won't have their eyes burned from their sockets



And then you have this travesty of a mockery!

I'd voluntarily walk through the Gates of Hell not to have to sing or put up with either.

[InHisLove]

Re: LBC drop-out rates explained!

Oi, back off country music. Toby Keith, Alan Jackson, Carrie Underwood, and soo many other country artists have made some of the most patriotic songs, ever. So don't you even blame country music on any allegid suicides. Suicide is MURDER therefore it is a sin, which is something Im sure any Christian would try thier hardest not to do. If you need help figuring out why suicide rates are so high, think about all of the CATHOLICS see Virgin Mary's face on random objects and shes bleeding from her eyes. Oh and another thing, I could point in the direction of some music that people do listen to that is related to self mutilation and suicide. It was music I used to listen to. But to get back to my point, Country is the least likely music to cause suicide unless they are listening to Whiskey Luliby a little too much.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: LBC drop-out rates explained!

If I knew where you lived, Mo, I'd slap the cuffs on you so fast you'd wouldn't even have time to withdraw your tallywacker from the backside of whatever altar boy you were in the middle of buggering.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: LBC drop-out rates explained!

Now we know why so many LBC "True Christians" tend to disappear shortly after joining here. How very, very sad.

I had assumed those 17 people had been called up to heaven to sit next to Jesus immediately after signing over their possessions to the church.... That just seems logical to me-- that they would be called up to heaven after such an act of devotion to Jesus' Favorite Church(r).

Are you saying that's not the case? Are you making some type of allegation here? What exactly are you trying to say, FATHER?

[InHisLove]

Re: LBC drop-out rates explained!

Mr. Worthington, I think he was trying to say that people in your Church are suicidal. Which wouldn't be the case, im 100% possitive. He is also insinuating that country music is to blame.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: LBC drop-out rates explained!

Mr. Worthington, I think he was trying to say that people in your Church are suicidal. Which wouldn't be the case, im 100% possitive. He is also insinuating that country music is to blame.

Yes. It could also be the country music.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: LBC drop-out rates explained!

Unlike Catholicism, where few stray from the view of Rome, LandRover Baptist seems to be unable to keep their flock together and not just because of high incarceration rates it turns out!
.

That's rich coming from a member of an organization with more convicted child molestors than NAMBLA. Of course, only about 10% of priests are actually put in prison...the remaining 90% are sheltered by "Holy Mother Church".

I would also like to point out that all my convictions and my 15-year prison sentence happened before I joined Landover Baptist Church, so there.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: LBC drop-out rates explained!

Yes. It could also be the country music.

One thing is for sure, LBC doesn't murder its members for their donation money in their wills!

Got to be the country music.

[InHisLove]

Re: LBC drop-out rates explained!

He was saying that the members of Landover Baptist Church are back woods country people who listen to country, and shoot themselves because of the country music. Which couldnt be more false, right?

[Jared H. Price]

Re: LBC drop-out rates explained!

Unlike Catholicism, where few stray from the view of Rome, LandRover Baptist seems to be unable to keep their flock together and not just because of high incarceration rates it turns out!

It seems that by ignoring the centuries of wonderful music made by good Catholic boys and listening instead to hayseed twang they have doomed themselves once again in the eyes of our Lord and Heavenly Father.

I quote: "Country music is hypothesized to nurture a suicidal mood through its concerns with problems common in the suicidal population, such as marital discord, alcohol abuse, and alienation from work... The existence of a country music subculture is thought to reinforce the link
between country music and suicide."

Now we know why so many LBC "True Christians" tend to disappear shortly after joining here. How very, very sad.

Give a bunch of drunk trailer trash some guns and a few Merle records and before you know it there's cerebellum stew all over the kitchenette walls.


Do yourselves a favour and give up this cult before it is too late. Come join the Holy Roman Church and learn what real Christians have known for two thousand years.


Bless you, my future colander noggins,
Father Mo






.

Headline from the National Catholic Reporter:

Suicides a disturbing undercurrent to abuse cases
Oct 10, 2005

Seems like you fellas have your own autoextermination issues to deal with. I contend that if our rates of suicide are higher, it's because we've got bigger cajones and go through with it.

Besides, I'd rather star in my own snuff film due to listening to the sweet voice of George Jones than because a Priest put his weenus in my anus.

[JennyD]

Re: LBC drop-out rates explained!

I'd heard there were a large number of people abandoning certain churches because certain Pastors pressured them to tithe more and more of their income, accusing them of lying about their incomes, and even threatening to exact vengeance if they didn't pay up.

That's what I've heard, anyway.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: LBC drop-out rates explained!

I'd heard there were a large number of people abandoning certain churches because certain Pastors pressured them to tithe more and more of their income, accusing them of lying about their incomes, and even threatening to exact vengeance if they didn't pay up.

That's what I've heard, anyway.

I've heard of even worse things happening.