Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

[Bob4God]

Very soon the Secret Service will be listening in on your phone calls, not to see if you are a terrorist plotting an attack, but to catch up on the juiciest gossip, latest recipes, and weight loss tricks.

A woman is taking over the Secret Service, and the nation is more doomed than ever before.

It makes absolutely no sense for a man to select a woman to defend him. That is not only a sign of weakness, but also a sign of stupidity. What sensible person would choose someone who goes absolutely ballistic once a month to defend his very life?

The only way it could possibly get worse would be if she was a lesbian, which she probably is.

[Seth Campbell]

Re: Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

Is this the whore that rides the beast?

Does Michelle know about this?

[Godfly]

Re: Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

What are they going to do durring her unclean time? Every man on the planet will be at risk of a drone strike.

[Basilissa]

Re: Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

A woman is taking over the Secret Service, and the nation is more doomed than ever before.

I'm sorry, I'm confused: what kinds of secret services is she going to be rendering to the president? I thought that he was married!

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

To be honest, I expected Hussein Obama to ruin SS even faster. Like everything else he touch.

[John Creeser]

Re: Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

Negro mudslime President, women secretary of state, and now a woman as the head of the secret service? What happened America, WHERE DID YOU GET SO BACKWARDS?

In my day the White House was just that, WHITE (Except that damn Joo Kissinger). We had a nice Republican President, we had men doing the jobs women are far too stupid to handle...whoa wait!! Maybe this IS a good thing.

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

With the ammount of cackling that women do there will be no secrets for the secret service to keep.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

I can see it all now:

[Top agent Craig Buckmayer III enters secret room]
CB: You wanted to see me ma’am?
Julia Pierson: Yes Buckmayer, I did. What do you think of these curtains?
CB: Ma’am?
JP: Are they too heavy? I mean, I like the color but do they give the place a sort of ‘heavy’ feeling? I don’t want heavy, I was thinking of something, you know, lighter…
CB: Ma’am?
JP: Only my friend, Janine, has some of these in her bedroom. She’s the one with the boy who’s a lawyer. Her husband’s something in a bank… You know Janine?
CB: No ma’am.
JP: Oh, I must have spoken about her to someone else. They coordinate with it though, don’t they?
CB: ‘It’, ma’am?
JP: The wallpaper, Buckmayer. You’re not very helpful, are you?
CB: Well ma’am, my skills lie more in seeking out the enemies of the US and neutralizing them rather than curtains.
JP: Who!? What!? O My God! Enemies! I’d forgotten them! I bet their curtains are horrible. Laureen has horrible curtains. She’s not on the list of enemies, is she? Only I said that I’d never speak to her again after what she did but then I had to when I ended up at the same baby-shower as her.
CB: Laureen, Ma’am?
JP: The one who’s husband works in a bank.
CB: I thought that was Janine, ma’am.
JP: No that’s another bank – don’t you listen, Buckmeyer, do you? Anyway, I’m beginning to dislike those curtains. I took a long time choosing them. I just knew I should have had the ones in “Polished Pebble” not “Rounded Stone.” Which do you like better, “Rounded Stone”, or “Polished Pebble” Buckmeyer?
CB: Ah! I see ma’am! Very clever! Well, “Polished Pebble” is our top secret source in Tehran and “Rounded Stone” has infiltrated the Taliban in Kandahar! Of the two…
JP: Do these men know about curtains?
CB: Ma’am? Curtains? These are our top intelligence sources! They…
JP: Oh, I’m really pleased about that – not just one but two people who know about curtains. Call them back, I’ve got two other rooms to decorate and I don’t want Michelle looking at the style with that sideways look of hers. You know how she is... and her daughters aren’t much better. They’re not into Oriental stuff are they? I mean, I don’t want them looking like something that Candice would buy – she’s got no taste. That woman ruined the house! Who has leather dining chairs nowadays? [pause] Yes, call them back. I need them here.
CB: Ma’am. I really think…
JP: Buckmayer, the problem is that you have no idea about decorating a room do you? Dismiss!
[CB goes towards the door]
JP: One more thing Buckmayer!
CB: Ma’am?
JP: Do we have any agents called “Soft Furnishings” or “Paint Shades”?

[Nobar King]

Re: Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

This is just ridiculous. Everyone knows that a woman can't keep a secret.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

This is just ridiculous. Everyone knows that a woman can't keep a secret.

On the plus side, she may shoot Obama herself in a PMS rage.

Hopefully she'll take out Biden at the same times, who wants that thing as president?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

I bet she is a divorcee and a whore who is on the hunt for a husband.

I wonder what man she stole her resume from.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

I wonder what man she stole her resume from.

Someone who "sleeps her way to the top" doesn't need a particularly impressive resume.

Just saying.

[BillieJean]

Re: Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

I bet she is a divorcee and a whore who is on the hunt for a husband.

I wonder what man she stole her resume from.

You don't have to be superficial, maybe her husband cheated her or was a violent man or something, that's not important, I have no doubt she will do a good job, as good as any man

[Godfly]

Re: Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

You don't have to be superficial, maybe her husband cheated her or was a violent man or something, that's not important, I have no doubt she will do a good job, as good as any man

Are you on your period? Why are you arguing with everyone?

[WWJDnow]

Re: Obama Appoints first Female Head of Secret Service!

This doesn't make any sense. Everyone knows that the last thing a woman can do is keep a secret.