[Mary Etheldreda]

[James Hutchins]

My finest congratulations on your birthday, my dear Pastor. Sadly, only being 29, you have a long time before you will have the Glory of sitting upon the right Hand of God Almighty and to know first hand His Grip of Love massaging your soul.
You might notice a 2018 Pearlescent Escalade parked in your lot at your residence at the Chrystal Cathedral in downton Landover. I'd of had it delivered to your residence but the security team told the driver there was a lock down due to an escaped 'cub'. In the back, you'll find a case of Macallan Lalique VI 65 Year Old Single Malt Scotch Whisky.

[handmaiden]

Happy Birthday to you, Pastor Zeke. I heard someone describe you as "smarmy". Is that like a made-up word like, "smartish"? Because I would disagree, because you are obviously truly smart. In fact, you are the "smarmiest"!

The Good Lord keep you and Bless you,.

[Brother Gonzalez]

Happy birthday Pastor! Thanks for your guidance and for making this transition to Heaven easier! I hope Jesus calls you soon to be beside Him!Of course, not before you have accomplished your mission here in Earth.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Happy birthday, Pastor! I hope you are richly blessed for all that you have done for Jesus as you continue to, quote Sister Handmaiden, "smarmly" serve Him with all the humbleness and wisdom of the head pastor! I sent an aged whiskey for your birthday, I hope you received it in time!

[BrotherLarry]

A God-Inspired Poem in Observance of Your Birthday


God formed all of creation and said it was ok
But something still was missing upon that seventh day
He formed a man out of the dust, Adam was his name
Now Adam was a fairly good guy, but God thought he was lame.


So he found some gold dust on the shelf and sprinkled it around
He mixed it with an angel's looks and made it muscle bound
There's little doubt, I shout it out, I know just how you'll feel
When I tell you what God had formed was our own Ezekiel.


Then creation was complete at last, it made God shout hurray!
He smiled as He watched Jesus and our Pastor Zeke at play.
He then taught Zeke about the plan to save the world from sin.
Zeke volunteered to preach the news to all the mortal men.


And that's the story of our pastor, better than all others
He's better than your sisters, and better than your brothers.
He does not age, he just improves with each and every minute
Were he to wage a war, you know, he's guaranteed to win it.


So Happy Birthday, Pastor Zeke, although I am not worthy
To speak your name or breathe your air or walk upon your earthy.


Thank you, JESUS, for this wonderful, perfect man.
May he remember my name some day.


BrotherLarry

[Pastor Ezekiel]

?????


Where is my Airbus A380?



Where. Is. My. fre4king. Jet?




????



Seriously, my flock? What IS this? Your congrats coming the day AFTER my birthday?? A day LATE? Whisky spelled in two different ways? Is that the best I deserve? Really?? You know that I've worked for YEARS to deliver you into Heaven! You feel that your place is secure now but it only takes ONE word from me and Jesus can just as easily cast you into the pit? You all know that I've kept our community safe by having my houseboys patrol the streets for any undesirable activity among you guys. That's gonna change now! My good friend the POTUS DONALD will also contribute to our cause by extracting some well-trained troops to ensure proper tithe collection. Remember Ananias. And. His. Wife. What happened to them when they tithed too little?? And where's my fiancée?? Haven't heard from her for months! Covfefe! And why are my houseboys reporting Daisy Mae activity in the Faith Machine household? And what what what is that freakish POEM? Weren't you the horse guy? Why is there still manure on the Flint Mansion DRIVEWAY!? I can read the Lamentations (my poor late father Lamentations Flint would never have tolerated such disregard ) if I want poetry. Which I don't want.

I. Want. The. Jet. Delivered! Come on sheep! It's not rocket science! Just aviation! It looks like this!



It'll get me to spread the good news of JESUS to Southeast Asia and it will get YOU back unto the Heaven Track! Dear Jesus come and slay the sinners and let Thy light re-illuminate the dark hearts of my flock that are quenching for my teachings while I SELFLESSLY serve the Nation commandingadvising our President in his decisions.


This was the worst birthday since my 10th when my late father Lamentations Flint taught me the hard but loving Proverbs 13:24-way how Jesus feels about little boys who trespass.

[Faith_Machine]

I am sorry you had such a rotten birthday, Pastor. And I am sorry Daisy Mae felt she had to come to me to talk about your relationship problems. I told her this was the kind of thing she should talk to her pastor about, but she said she couldn't, as you are her pastor.

Anyway, I have something for you that I think will help with your "little problem."


Don't worry, sir, we all get old.

[Titus Templeton]

Happy Birthday, Pastor! Me and my family already send money in hopes it will be used for the new airplane. God will make this very good man fly I am sure it will happen.

[Basilissa]

My beloved Pastor Zeke!

I would apologize for being so late, except that it was you who ordered me to go save some stupid savage souls in the Amazon jungle.


Anyway. I'm bringing back all the packages that you requested, and here is your belated birthday cake: