What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

[Levi Jones]

Now, I don't want this to turn into a gossip thread. As True Christians(tm) we are above such things.

But we haven't heard from him. And I just want to know what you guys have heard. It's just us here. No press releases or official anything.

Just give me some leads as to where he may be or what may have happened.

Someone told me there is a bank eviction notice on his house. I thought that was church property and we owned it outright.

But I am so confused here.

[Des]

Re: What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

An eviction notice? Why, anyone with a printer can forge one of those. In fact, were I going to kidnap someone, I would probably print up a fake eviction notice and post it on her door after I had stuffed her through the window into the unlit alley and dragged her unconscious body down to the waiting windowless van, and after I had hastily packed a couple of her bags with clothes and personal items including photos that the family would insist she wouldn't have left behind no matter how much of a hurry she was in. This would throw off investigators and grind any search efforts to a crawl.

This is all hypothetical, of course. But we must entertain the possibility of his being abducted by enemies of the church. Mooselimb terrorists like the Shazam/Isis Hour, hulking lezbean brutes, the Gay Mafia, the Joos, or Bronies. Stranger things have happened.

Who might his message of love and truth have offended recently?

[Levi Jones]

Re: What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

Who might his message of love and truth have offended recently?

Who may not have? The Amish may have no issues with the Pastor, but I think they are the only ones we can safely cross off the list.

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

I hear he has been going state to state pretending to be a predatory homosexual in women's bathrooms to scare straight people into supporting our religious freedom bills. The American Family Association has been doing that all over the country. I just assumed he was doing that because I have been.

Is that not right?

[Titus Templeton]

Re: What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

Do we have any last gps signals or telecommunication data about his last locations?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

I have no idea what is going on but I am certain Hillary Clinton is behind it!

[Sarc Minclair]

Re: What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

I took him to my garage and I am making him watch all of the Fast and Furious movies on loop until he supports the Hemi Rights Group.

[Levi Jones]

Re: What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

I took him to my garage and I am making him watch all of the Fast and Furious movies on loop until he supports the Hemi Rights Group.

If we promise to recognize you as a gender, do you promise to die in two years like the rest of Dodge's product line?

[Levi Jones]

Re: What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

Sorry to get off topic on this. So we know Pastor Zeke's enemies were one of any other religion. He had enemies in the democratic party. He has enemies among the trannies and furries. He has enemies within our very own church even.

But where to start looking?

[Elmer G. White]

Re: What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

Brethren,

One of my sons (Mark, the eldest) received some hate mail from a Mormonic false Church he's proselytizing. They claimed that Pastor Ezekiel had become a frequent visitor and lately a member of their Book of Moron study group.



For me, this image proves that our Pastor is well and working his butt of to make these polygamists see the Light (John 1:5) before it's too late. All other information that you may receive regarding this issue is slander and gossip and, furthermore, un-Biblical. Pastor Ezekiel is only doing what Jesus told him to do!

Matthew 28:19
Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

Even the Moronic nation deserves a chance! Is there greater love than infiltrating them to Save their sorry souls?!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

I don't know where our Pastor is now, but last week we were together in Cleveland, moving from motel to motel, trying our best to save the homosexuals from their certain doom. The passion he had, as we moved from room to room, driving the demons out, you just had to be there to see the energy. As God drove the gayness out and Jesus in.

I left him at an airbnb in Omaha on Saturday. He said he needed some rest. Haven't seen him since?


Mark 6:31 "And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat."


In Christ

[Basilissa]

Re: What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

I am afraid that our Beloved Pastor's sudden disappearance might have something to do with the unfortunate events recently described by Brother Bathfire, or with the cruel and completely unjustified rumors that the church has recently denied. Geesh, our Beloved Pastor seems to have run into a lot of bad luck recently - I do pray that he is OK!

[Des]

Re: What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

I was at the 5B yesterday, Bernie's Bibles, Bullets, Beef, & Beer, and overheard someone say he heard that Zeke had commissioned the construction of a bunker/prayer closet deep in the heart of the Himalayas and was going to hole up there in prayer until Trump took office.

[Regens Kuechl]

Re: What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

I heard rumors spreading from Italy and pray it to be true that the Pastor Ezekiel has finally embraced the ultimative truth of the Catholic Church and is in this moment roaming the Vaticanum pursuing a well fitting career near the Holy Stool!
Which of you will kneel down and pray with me?

[Levi Jones]

Re: What have you heard about Pastor Flint's disappearance?

I heard rumors spreading from Italy and pray it to be true that the Pastor Ezekiel has finally embraced the ultimative truth of the Catholic Church and is in this moment roaming the Vaticanum pursuing a well fitting career near the Holy Stool!
Which of you will kneel down and pray with me?

This doesn't surprise me. He and Maurice Lester were always too close.