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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556
    #946
    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

    Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
    The person below me loves Grape Nuts.
    False. I was unaware that grapes produced nuts.


    The person below me has a tofu in their refrigerator.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Meek and Humble
        Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar
        Biblical Black Belt
        Jr. Pastor
        True Christian™
        • Dec 2008
        • 6197
        #947
        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

        Absolutely false. Tofu is for the Godless!

        The person under me understands the Holy Trinity

          Comment

          • Rev. Jim Osborne
            True Christian™ Televangelist
            Director of Fundraising and Tithing
            On the Look Out for Wife #6!
            True Christian™
            • Jun 2009
            • 8622
            #948
            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

            True. 1+1+1=3. You don't have to have a Ph.D. in mathematics to figure that one out.

            The person under me thinks the Washington Monument is a phallic pagan symbol full of esoteric Masonic imagery.

            Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

              Comment

              • Levi Jones
                Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
                Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
                Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
                 
                • Jul 2009
                • 13930
                #949
                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
                True. 1+1+1=3. You don't have to have a Ph.D. in mathematics to figure that one out.

                The person under me thinks the Washington Monument is a phallic pagan symbol full of esoteric Masonic imagery.
                True. It was coated in the most expensive metal of its day, aluminum.

                The person below me, much like I do, sometimes forgets to check the "Quote message in reply?" box.
                Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Ezekiel
                    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                     
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 78556
                    #950
                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                    [QUOTE=Levi Jones;391622]The person below me, much like I do, sometimes forgets to check the "Quote message in reply?" box.

                    False!


                    The person below me aims laser beams at their neighbors late at night for fun.
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • Mrs. Mary Whitford
                        Ladies of Landover Senior VP
                        One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
                        Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
                        True Christian™
                        • Dec 2006
                        • 12414
                        #951
                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        [
                        The person below me aims laser beams at their neighbors late at night for fun.
                        FALSE! One of my neighbors is Mrs. Betty Bowers. I don't know if I could take another designer shoe thrown at my head.

                        The person under me has also angered Mrs. Betty Bowers in the past.
                        Posted via Prayer

                        1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
                        Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

                        Blogging for CHRIST!
                        Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
                        All a-Twitter for Salvation!
                        Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
                        On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
                        My Ladies of Landover profile!

                          Comment

                          • Meek and Humble
                            Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar
                            Biblical Black Belt
                            Jr. Pastor
                            True Christian™
                            • Dec 2008
                            • 6197
                            #952
                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                            Yes. That is all I am legally allowed to disclose at this point...

                            The person under me prays for the wicked to perish.

                              Comment

                              • Old Tom
                                Forum Member
                                Forum Member
                                • Aug 2009
                                • 8
                                #953
                                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                Originally posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
                                Yes. That is all I am legally allowed to disclose at this point...

                                The person under me prays for the wicked to perish.
                                True, except for those that owe me money.

                                The person under me pisseth against the wall.

                                  Comment

                                  • Mad Prophet Helmholtz
                                    Recovering Outpatient From The Landover Rehabilitation Unit
                                    Forum Member
                                    • May 2009
                                    • 666
                                    #954
                                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                    Originally posted by Old Tom View Post
                                    True, except for those that owe me money.

                                    The person under me pisseth against the wall.
                                    No longer. Prior to my 1974 Salvation, I was pissing against many things. Walls, stranger's cars, phone booths, drinking fountains, homeless people sleeping, etc. Although that's what my friends told me because I don't remember any of those nights.

                                    The person under me uses tinfoil and duct tape to seal their doors and windows so Nazi-invented nix-impalers controlled by Motel Pimps cannot enter your room at night and steal your thoughts while you are sleeping.
                                    sigpic
                                    SPACESHIP JESUS appeared to me in Astronaut form when I was staying in a motel in 1974. He then told me the TRUTH about our world and what illusions the SATANIC ALLIANCE uses to control us! To this day, I still receive SPACESHIP RADIO SIGNALS INTO MY BRAIN. Absolve yourself of your limited Matrix existence.

                                    Hosea 9:7
                                    The days of visitation are come, the days of recompence are come; Israel shall know it: the prophet is a fool, the spiritual man is mad, for the multitude of thine iniquity, and the great hatred.

                                      Comment

                                      • Nurse Clampett
                                        Jesus's Favorite Nurse
                                        Forum Member
                                        • Jan 2009
                                        • 974
                                        #955
                                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                        Originally posted by Mad Prophet Helmholtz View Post
                                        No longer. Prior to my 1974 Salvation, I was pissing against many things. Walls, stranger's cars, phone booths, drinking fountains, homeless people sleeping, etc. Although that's what my friends told me because I don't remember any of those nights.

                                        The person under me uses tinfoil and duct tape to seal their doors and windows so Nazi-invented nix-impalers controlled by Motel Pimps cannot enter your room at night and steal your thoughts while you are sleeping.
                                        No, but I do use duct tape for those patients who are less...willing to cooperate.
                                        The person under me has been sexually harassed by homers.
                                        Luke 5:31
                                        And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick

                                          Comment

                                          • Pastor Ezekiel
                                            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                             
                                            • Sep 2006
                                            • 78556
                                            #956
                                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                            Originally posted by Nurse Clampett View Post
                                            The person under me has been sexually harassed by homers.
                                            True! Too true! I am constantly being harassed by homersexurals! Just because I have a set of rock-hard abs and the same blond-haired, blue-eyed good looks that Jesus has, they all want to commit sodomy with them. There are entire websites and Youtube videos set up to adore (i.e., sexually harass) me out there on the internets.

                                            The person under me has a female boss.
                                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                              Comment

                                              • Nobar King
                                                Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                                                Christ's Guardian
                                                True Christian™
                                                • Sep 2007
                                                • 23748
                                                #957
                                                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post

                                                The person under me has a female boss.
                                                You're kidding, right?

                                                My boss is a dude. He's not strong enough to burn off the dead wood, but at least he's a guy.

                                                The next person actually has a job.
                                                May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Meek and Humble
                                                    Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar
                                                    Biblical Black Belt
                                                    Jr. Pastor
                                                    True Christian™
                                                    • Dec 2008
                                                    • 6197
                                                    #958
                                                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                    Of course. I'm a farmer.

                                                    The person under me is a good old country boy.

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Levi Jones
                                                        Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
                                                        Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
                                                        Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
                                                         
                                                        • Jul 2009
                                                        • 13930
                                                        #959
                                                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                        True. We built all sorts of nifty things in "our" woods. Swings over creeks, a zipline which we had video of a cop going down after he had "caught" us. Many bonfires in the woods which sometimes ended with a hillbilly steak, when some ignorant asshat would put a tire on the fire.

                                                        One time after putting gasoline on our little sacrifice to God, my friends asked everyone if they had a match. One of my friends bravely volunteered to use his lighter to light the half gallon of gasoline and dried wood.

                                                        Time went slowly. A chorus of people chanted at once, "NO! NO! NO!"

                                                        He didn't listen. We all jumped away. Lucky dumb friend only lost his eyebrows and the front of his hair.

                                                        Executive summary: True

                                                        The person below me knows who Philip Kaplan is, besides some joo.
                                                        Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Isabella Abbey
                                                            Forum Member
                                                            • Aug 2009
                                                            • 166
                                                            #960
                                                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                            Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
                                                            The person below me knows who Philip Kaplan is, besides some joo.
                                                            The "Effed Company" guy? I remember that site from when Themestream went belly up, and Internet speculation was collapsing left and right. It was particularly amusing when Effed Company made its own list.



                                                            The person below me secretly loves dailykos.

                                                              Comment

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