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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78552
    #2791
    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

    Originally posted by Marc Thyme View Post

    The person below me regularly consumes granola.
    False, but my Arabian Stallions seem to like it.


    The person under me feels certain that Jesus will be coming soon.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Alexandria Puckett
        Forum Member
        Forum Member
        • Mar 2013
        • 256
        #2792
        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        False, but my Arabian Stallions seem to like it.


        The person under me feels certain that Jesus will be coming soon.
        Oh, Pastor, you almost got me.
        I don't have to feel certain when I know for certain!

        Revelation 1:8 - I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.

        Revelation 19:12-16 - His eyes [were] as a flame of fire, and on his head [were] many crown s; and He had a name written, that no man knew, but He himself,

        Revelation 11:15 - And the seventh angel sounded; and there were great voices in heaven, saying, The kingdoms of this world are becomew of our Lord, and of his Christ; and he shall reign for ever and ever.

        PRAISE HIM AND HIS GLORIOUS RETURN!

        Hmmm.... The person under me has had a wonderful day off!
        But he answered and said, it is not right to take the children's bread and cast it to the dogs. (Matthew 15:26)

          Comment

          • Daisy Mae Johnson
            The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
            Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
            aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 15708
            #2793
            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

            TRUE! First I went to Church and listened to Pastor Zeke give an inspiring service and waited for JESUS to return.

            Then I had lunch with the LOL's (Ladies of Landover) at the Olive Garden. Then I went and had my nails done so I will look good when JESUS returns!


            The person under me always wears clean clothes and underwear just in case HE returns that day.
            sigpic

            Tweet me Here
            My GODLY Bio Here

              Comment

              • Sammy The Penitent
                Forum Member
                Forum Member
                • Nov 2012
                • 289
                #2794
                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                Originally posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
                TRUE! First I went to Church and listened to Pastor Zeke give an inspiring service and waited for JESUS to return.

                Then I had lunch with the LOL's (Ladies of Landover) at the Olive Garden. Then I went and had my nails done so I will look good when JESUS returns!


                The person under me always wears clean clothes and underwear just in case HE returns that day.
                True! I'll also be clutching an American manufactured M4 Carbine in my left hand and a KJV Bible in my right.

                The person under me enjoys chicken and waffle flavored potato chips.
                2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Ezekiel
                    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                     
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 78552
                    #2795
                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                    Originally posted by Sammy The Penitent View Post
                    The person under me enjoys chicken and waffle flavored potato chips.
                    True! I ate one last night.



                    The person under me knows that pterodactyls still fly.

                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • Basilissa
                        South of the Border outreach program
                        True Christian™
                         
                        • Mar 2013
                        • 12914
                        #2796
                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        True! I ate one last night.

                        The person under me knows that pterodactyls still fly.
                        Of course! And Big Foot is out there as well!

                        The person under me spends every free minute PRAISING THE LORD! GLORY!
                        God created fossils to test our faith.

                        * * *

                        My favorite LBC sermons:
                        True Christians are Perfect!
                        True Christian™ Love.
                        Salvation™ made Easy!
                        You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                        Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                        Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                         Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                        Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                        The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                        Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                        God HATES Rational Thinking!
                        True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                          Comment

                          • Sammy The Penitent
                            Forum Member
                            Forum Member
                            • Nov 2012
                            • 289
                            #2797
                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                            Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                            Of course! And Big Foot is out there as well!

                            The person under me spends every free minute PRAISING THE LORD! GLORY!
                            True.

                            Not only every free minute, but EVERY minute of the day!

                            The person under me throws a baseball with their right arm.
                            2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.

                              Comment

                              • Professor Ogden
                                True Christian™
                                True Christian™
                                • Oct 2006
                                • 22
                                #2798
                                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                I found a likeness of Jesus in a Marie Callender's Chicken Pot Pie...best of all, it is signed!
                                Professor Ogden

                                With the Holy Bible as your sole authority, you may, with a clear conscience, go into the world and act in ANY manner that will promulgate the Faith and the Name of Christianity

                                I am perfectly willing to give my life for my beliefs as well as yours.

                                  Comment

                                  • Jo Freddie
                                    Unsaved trash
                                    Hateful God mocking pirate
                                    • Apr 2009
                                    • 6339
                                    #2799
                                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                    Originally posted by Sammy The Penitent View Post

                                    The person under me throws a baseball with their right arm.
                                    False, I don't play any version of rounders.

                                    The person below feels the touch Our Lord's Noodly appendage.
                                    Posted via Pasta

                                    True Pastafarian™

                                    May my Sauce be with you!
                                    Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                                    Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                                    The Loose Canon - HTML version
                                    Loose Canon Fan Page
                                    North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
                                    I have been to The Volcano!

                                      Comment

                                      • Pastor Ezekiel
                                        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                         
                                        • Sep 2006
                                        • 78552
                                        #2800
                                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                        Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post

                                        The person below feels the touch Our Lord's Noodly appendage.
                                        False. The genuine Lord has no "appendages."



                                        The person under me has been on a blind date.
                                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                          Comment

                                          • Alexandria Puckett
                                            Forum Member
                                            Forum Member
                                            • Mar 2013
                                            • 256
                                            #2801
                                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                            False. The genuine Lord has no "appendages."



                                            The person under me has been on a blind date.
                                            Nope! One courter, one husband!

                                            The person below me enjoys a nice iced tea on the porch in the summer with a Bible and a BB gun for the stray cats <3
                                            But he answered and said, it is not right to take the children's bread and cast it to the dogs. (Matthew 15:26)

                                              Comment

                                              • Jo Freddie
                                                Unsaved trash
                                                Hateful God mocking pirate
                                                • Apr 2009
                                                • 6339
                                                #2802
                                                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                Originally posted by Alexandria Puckett View Post
                                                Nope! One courter, one husband!
                                                Oh dear, did a woman just tell one of the leading Pastors of Landover Baptist Church that he was wrong?

                                                Now while I feel it is perfectly acceptable for anyone, man or woman to point out Zekie boy is wrong, he does not feel the same way, and with his misogynist view of the world it is even worse coming from a woman.

                                                Originally posted by Alexandria Puckett View Post
                                                The person below me enjoys a nice iced tea on the porch in the summer
                                                That part is true, the next bit..
                                                Originally posted by Alexandria Puckett View Post
                                                with a Bible and a BB gun for the stray cats <3
                                                False, I would be reading The Loose Canon and sharing left over meatballs with the local cats.

                                                The person below me think Zekie boy shouldn't take out his frustrations on the house boy in the shower.
                                                Posted via Pasta

                                                True Pastafarian™

                                                May my Sauce be with you!
                                                Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                                                Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                                                The Loose Canon - HTML version
                                                Loose Canon Fan Page
                                                North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
                                                I have been to The Volcano!

                                                  Comment

                                                  • James Hutchins
                                                    True Christian™
                                                    Just a Regular Nice Guy
                                                     
                                                    • Jun 2009
                                                    • 29440
                                                    #2803
                                                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                    Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post
                                                    ...The person below me think Zekie boy shouldn't take out his frustrations on the house boy in the shower.
                                                    False. A house boy is there to serve at the pleasure of his master.

                                                    The person below me is a house boy.
                                                    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                                                    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                                                    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                                                    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                                                    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                                                    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Ezekiel Bathfire
                                                        Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                                                        Christ's Rottweiler
                                                         
                                                        • Jan 2008
                                                        • 22839
                                                        #2804
                                                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                        I am a house-boy inasmuch as I own 15 houses; the person below me has never been in a shower.
                                                        sigpic


                                                        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                                                        Author of such illuminating essays as,
                                                        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Pastor Ezekiel
                                                            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                                             
                                                            • Sep 2006
                                                            • 78552
                                                            #2805
                                                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                            Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                                                            I am a house-boy inasmuch as I own 15 houses; the person below me has never been in a shower.
                                                            Quite true, if we're talking about Bridal Showers.

                                                            The person below me was beaten as a boy for reading "Tarzan" novels instead of his Bible study...
                                                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                                              Comment

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