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  • tedalmos
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    • Oct 2015
    • 15

    #436
    Re: Manly Jokes

    Rodrigo how are you even a forum member when you can't even speak proper english you dumb ***insults removed*** i hope ***repulsive threats removed*** aids you ***more insults removed*** sell out

    Comment

    • Basilissa
      South of the Border outreach program
      True Christian™
       
      • Mar 2013
      • 12900

      #437
      Re: Manly Jokes

      Originally posted by tedalmos View Post
      Rodrigo, how are you even a forum member, when you can't even speak proper English? You dumb ***insults removed***, I hope ***repulsive threats removed*** of AIDS you piffleing sell out.
      Matthew 7:5, sweetie.

      God created fossils to test our faith.

      * * *

      My favorite LBC sermons:
      True Christians are Perfect!
      True Christian™ Love.
      Salvation™ made Easy!
      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
      Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
      God HATES Rational Thinking!
      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

      Comment

      • tedalmos
        Confirmed Enemy of God
        • Oct 2015
        • 15

        #438
        Re: Manly Jokes

        Top Ten Reasons That Beer Is Better Than Jesus:-
        a) No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
        b) Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
        c) They don't force beer on minors who cannot think for themselves.
        d) Beer has never caused a major war.
        e) When you have a beer you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
        f) Nobody has ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over a beer.
        g) You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer.
        h) There are laws saying beer labels cannot lie to you.
        I) You can prove you have a beer.
        j) If you are devoted to beer then there are groups who can help you stop.

        Comment

        • Zechariah Smyth
          Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
          True Christian™
          • Feb 2011
          • 15251

          #439
          Re: Manly Jokes

          Originally posted by tedalmos View Post
          plagiarism
          Ermagerd, yer so original!!!
          sigpic

          Comment

          • Cranky Old Man
            Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
            You kids get off his lawn!
             
            • Jan 2010
            • 22348

            #440
            Re: Manly Jokes

            Originally posted by tedalmos View Post
            Top Ten Reasons That Beer Is Better Than Jesus
            Top Ten Reasons YOU will burn in Hell:

            1. You are a sinning idiot (James 2:10).
            2. You are a sinning idiot (Deuteronomy 4:2).
            3. You are a sinning idiot (Mark 16:16).
            4. You are a sinning idiot (Genesis 38:9-10).
            5. You are a sinning idiot (Exodus 20:7).
            6. You are a sinning idiot (Matthew 12:32).
            7. You are a sinning idiot (Romans 12:11).
            8. You are a sinning idiot (Job 34:11).
            9. You are a sinning idiot (Matthew 7:13-14).
            10. You are a sinning idiot (Romans 3:23).


            Enjoy Hell!
            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78551

              #441
              Re: Manly Jokes

              Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
              Top Ten Reasons YOU will burn in Hell:

              1. You are a sinning idiot (James 2:10).
              2. You are a sinning idiot (Deuteronomy 4:2).
              3. You are a sinning idiot (Mark 16:16).
              4. You are a sinning idiot (Genesis 38:9-10).
              5. You are a sinning idiot (Exodus 20:7).
              6. You are a sinning idiot (Matthew 12:32).
              7. You are a sinning idiot (Romans 12:11).
              8. You are a sinning idiot (Job 34:11).
              9. You are a sinning idiot (Matthew 7:13-14).
              10. You are a sinning idiot (Romans 3:23).


              Enjoy Hell!
              Amen brother. And that's no joke!
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • Achaia
                Forum Member
                Forum Member
                • Nov 2015
                • 17

                #442
                Re: Manly Jokes

                Because I know Jesus had and HAS a strong heart, I wish we would be more careful. Sometimes we have to look within, which is where our faith comes from.

                Comment

                • Elmer G. White
                  Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
                  Victim of atheist scientific persecution
                   
                  • Apr 2014
                  • 10252

                  #443
                  Re: Manly Jokes

                  Originally posted by Achaia View Post
                  Because I know Jesus had and HAS a strong heart, I wish we would be more careful. Sometimes we have to look within, which is where our faith comes from.
                  I am very sorry, Mr. Achaia but I fail to understand the joke. I do admit that I am man more familiar with the serious, utterly serious message of the Bible and Creation Science and, thus, this could be a deficiency from my part. Still, even the patriarchs knew when to laugh.

                  Genesis 12:12
                  Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?

                  Verily, God gave us laughter.



                  Seriously, though, I failed to understand the joke.


                  Yours in Christ,

                  Elmer
                  2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



                  PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
                  Check out our Research in Creation Science:

                  Comment

                  • Zechariah Smyth
                    Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
                    True Christian™
                    • Feb 2011
                    • 15251

                    #444
                    Re: Manly Jokes

                    Originally posted by Achaia View Post
                    Because I know Jesus had and HAS a strong heart, I wish we would be more careful. Sometimes we have to look within, which is where our faith comes from.
                    This statement seems contradictory to Ephesians 2:8, so I'd like to see any Scriptural support you can provide that this is true.

                    Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.

                    Yours in Christ,

                    Zech
                    sigpic

                    Comment

                    • Ph0enix808
                      Forum Member
                      Forum Member
                      • Sep 2015
                      • 140

                      #445
                      Re: Manly Jokes

                      Originally posted by tedalmos View Post
                      Top Ten Reasons That Beer Is Better Than Jesus:-
                      a) No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
                      b) Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
                      c) They don't force beer on minors who cannot think for themselves.
                      d) Beer has never caused a major war.
                      e) When you have a beer you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
                      f) Nobody has ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over a beer.
                      g) You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer.
                      h) There are laws saying beer labels cannot lie to you.
                      I) You can prove you have a beer.
                      j) If you are devoted to beer then there are groups who can help you stop.
                      "beer has never forced war on anyone" have you heard of "The Beer War of 1380"??
                      Proverbs 15:26 - The thoughts of the wicked [are] an abomination to the LORD: but [the words] of the pure [are] pleasant words

                      POKEMON=SATANIC PAGAN RITUAL
                      Check out my new Discipline Lotion if you have NAUGHTY kids

                      Comment

                      • Youth Minister Harry
                        Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
                        True Christian™
                        • Feb 2011
                        • 832

                        #446
                        Re: Manly Jokes

                        Originally posted by Achaia View Post
                        Because I know Jesus had and HAS a strong heart, I wish we would be more careful. Sometimes we have to look within, which is where our faith comes from.
                        HAHAHA! What a silly jest! Oh, boy the jokes in here can get pretty absurd, can't they?!

                        Here's another one...

                        What's the difference between negroids and snow tires?
                        Negroids don't sing when you put chains on them!

                        PRAISE GOD!
                        Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ,
                        -Youth Minister Harry Lester

                        Comment

                        • Titus Templeton
                          Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
                          Jesus macht frei
                          True Christian™
                          • Aug 2010
                          • 5912

                          #447
                          Re: Manly Jokes

                          What is worse then beeing black or a muslim?

                          Beeing a black muslim
                          -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
                          -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
                          -Holocaust Jokes
                          -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
                          -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
                          -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
                          -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
                          -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!

                          Comment

                          • Pastor Ezekiel
                            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                             
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 78551

                            #448
                            Re: Manly Jokes

                            Originally posted by Titus Templeton View Post
                            What is worse then beeing black or a muslim?

                            Beeing a black muslim
                            Aren't they all coons?
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • arthur frayn
                              Unsaved trash
                              • Dec 2013
                              • 87

                              #449
                              Re: Manly Jokes

                              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                              Aren't they all coons?
                              Mohamadens = sand nigras.
                              Apò toû hēlíou metástēthi

                              Comment

                              • MonicaMatei
                                Unsaved trash, obese whore of satan
                                • Dec 2015
                                • 16

                                #450
                                Re: Manly Jokes

                                I'm a woman. These jokes are manly.
                                Myarf

                                Comment

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