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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-06-2011, 03:17 PM

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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-06-2011, 03:24 PM

How many Joos does it take to heat a concentration camp?

Roughly 6 million, they are not energy star rated.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-06-2011, 04:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch View Post
On a more serious note, I heard World War II and the holocaust were actually planned and instigated by Zionists to lead to the formation of Israel when Germany was defeated. They sacrificed 6 million of their own, and 60 million from other nations (mostly Christians, except for the japs) to bring about the birth (rebirth) of Israel. Anyone have any more on this?
Well, as I've said,
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Q: What do you call the person responsible for the Holocaust?

A: A dirty Jew.
Hitler was a Jew so it seems plausible. However, I think this explanation is ultimately mis-leading. Yes, the holocaust only happened so Israel could exist, but that's because God sent it. I'll let Pastor Hagee explain:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor John Hagee
The Prophet Jeremiah... paints a vivid picture of the human agents God intended to use to bring the Jewish people back to Israel: 'But now I will send for many fisherman', declares the Lord', 'and they will catch them. After that I will send for many hunters and they will hunt them down on every mountain and hill and from the crevices of the rocks.'
I believe this indicates the positive comes before the negative.....
First, God sent the fisherman to Israel. These were the Zionists, men like Theodore Herzl who called for the Jews of Europe and the World to come to Palestine and establish the Jewish state. The Jews were encouraged to escape while there was still time....
[Then] God sent the hunters. The hunter is one who pursues his target with force and fear. No one could see the horror of the Holocaust coming, but the force and fear of Hitler's Nazis drive the Jewish people back to the only home God ever intended for the Jews to have-Israel.... I am stricken with awe and wonder at his boundless love for Israel and the Jewish people...
Praise!


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-06-2011, 05:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Well, as I've said,

Hitler was a Jew so it seems plausible. However, I think this explanation is ultimately mis-leading. Yes, the holocaust only happened so Israel could exist, but that's because God sent it. I'll let Pastor Hagee explain:

Praise!
Wow! You pre-answered my question. Excellent anticipation on your part.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-07-2011, 07:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Well, as I've said,

Hitler was a Jew so it seems plausible. However, I think this explanation is ultimately mis-leading. Yes, the holocaust only happened so Israel could exist, but that's because God sent it. I'll let Pastor Hagee explain:

Praise!
Now, that IS funny! God so loved the Jews, He helped Hitler to starve, torture, rape, and nearly exterminate them, all so He could cast them into His Lake of Fire for all eternity!


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-07-2011, 08:08 AM

The Kommandante strolls in to the the concentration camp to make and announcement to the Joos:

"Joos, I have good news and bad news. First the good news. You will all be going to the finest hotels in all of Germany. The bad news is, you will be going as soap."



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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-07-2011, 09:30 PM

I have hated Jews since I leaned of their teachings of Jesus. I always thought it was wrong of me and I try to be more understanding and try to hide my feelings from them. I guess it was just Jesus talking to my subconscious the whole time. I'm glad I know now that I don't have to hide or be ashamed of my antisemitism. My neighbor is a Jew. I always avoided her for fear of saying something to offend her. After seeing the way you people act, I'm inspired. Next time I see her I'm going to tell her exactly what Jesus and I think of her. Who knows. I might cause her to fear hell and accept Jesus, for he is the only way in.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-07-2011, 09:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kill_dano View Post
I have hated Jews since I leaned of their teachings of Jesus. I always thought it was wrong of me and I try to be more understanding and try to hide my feelings from them. I guess it was just Jesus talking to my subconscious the whole time. I'm glad I know now that I don't have to hide or be ashamed of my antisemitism. My neighbor is a Jew. I always avoided her for fear of saying something to offend her. After seeing the way you people act, I'm inspired. Next time I see her I'm going to tell her exactly what Jesus and I think of her. Who knows. I might cause her to fear hell and accept Jesus, for he is the only way in.
What do you mean, "antisemitism"? Racism is not tolerated here. There is a difference between hating Jews because they are Jews and hating them because they killed Jesus.


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-07-2011, 10:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kill_dano View Post
I have hated Jews since I leaned of their teachings of Jesus. I always thought it was wrong of me and I try to be more understanding and try to hide my feelings from them. I guess it was just Jesus talking to my subconscious the whole time. I'm glad I know now that I don't have to hide or be ashamed of my antisemitism. My neighbor is a Jew. I always avoided her for fear of saying something to offend her. After seeing the way you people act, I'm inspired. Next time I see her I'm going to tell her exactly what Jesus and I think of her. Who knows. I might cause her to fear hell and accept Jesus, for he is the only way in.
I don't get it.


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-07-2011, 10:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
What do you mean, "antisemitism"? Racism is not tolerated here. There is a difference between hating Jews because they are Jews and hating them because they killed Jesus.
Why would I hate them for killing Jesus? They were only fulfilling Jesus' will. Jesus planed on being killed order to save our souls.

I hate the Jew not for killing Jesus, but for denying that he is the son of God.


John 3:36
Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.

The way I see it, my hate is part of God's wrath.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-07-2011, 10:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kill_dano View Post
Why would I hate them for killing Jesus? They were only fulfilling Jesus' will. Jesus planed on being killed order to save our souls.

I hate the Jew not for killing Jesus, but for denying that he is the son of God.


John 3:36
Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.

The way I see it, my hate is part of God's wrath.
I was under the impression that the Catliks Romans killed Jesus, the joos (Judas) ratted Him out for $40 bucks
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-08-2011, 12:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kill_dano View Post
I have hated Jews since I leaned of their teachings of Jesus. I always thought it was wrong of me and I try to be more understanding and try to hide my feelings from them. I guess it was just Jesus talking to my subconscious the whole time. I'm glad I know now that I don't have to hide or be ashamed of my antisemitism. My neighbor is a Jew. I always avoided her for fear of saying something to offend her. After seeing the way you people act, I'm inspired. Next time I see her I'm going to tell her exactly what Jesus and I think of her. Who knows. I might cause her to fear hell and accept Jesus, for he is the only way in.
I'm not sure what to say. I'm saddened that there is a poster here so filled with hatred. There is no place in a True Christian™'s heart for racism or intolerance. You make baby Jesus weep.

The kikes are caretakers of the Holy Land, fulfillers of prophecy who will bring about the Second Coming of Christ. We owe them our respect and gratitude, and allegiance! Only after Jesus returns to reign over this world will they be sent straight to Hell where they belong. Until then, try to remember, the joo is your friend. Without Him God's final defeat of Satan will not occur.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-08-2011, 12:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
I was under the impression that the Catliks Romans killed Jesus...
This is a lie perpetrated by the hook-nosed Christ-killers. Read you Bible, my son, and see the Glory of the Roman race:

Quote:
Matt 27:1 When morning came, all the chief priests and elders of the people plotted against Jesus to put Him to death. 2 And when they had bound Him, they led Him away and delivered Him to Pontius Pilate the governor.

{Judas then has his drama-queen hissy fit, throws down his blood money and hangs himself and there is some dramatic exposition.}

22 Pilate said to them, "What then shall I do with Jesus who is called Christ?" They all said to him, "Let Him be crucified!" 23 Then the governor said, "Why, what evil has He done?" But they cried out all the more, saying, "Let Him be crucified!" 24 When Pilate saw that he could not prevail at all, but rather that a tumult was rising, he took water and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, "I am innocent of the blood of this just Person. You see to it." 25 And all the people answered and said, "His blood be on us and on our children." 26 Then he released Barabbas to them; and when he had scourged Jesus, he delivered Him to be crucified.
The Romans wanted to let Jesus go.. It was the heebs who demanded his blood and entered into a evil contract that they and their children would be responsible for His death for all time. (Funny, you think they would have had enough lawyers lying around to review suck a crappy deal of a contract, but there you go...criminals were never very smart.)

You know the rest. The Romans then go on to form the one true Holy Roman Church and run the world with His Holiness the Pope being God's anointed representative on Earth.

I shall await your apology while I go change my colostomy bag.


Peace Be With You,

Cardinal (Ret.) Dario Fungi
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-08-2011, 12:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kill_dano View Post
I have hated Jews since I leaned of their teachings of Jesus. I always thought it was wrong of me and I try to be more understanding and try to hide my feelings from them. I guess it was just Jesus talking to my subconscious the whole time. I'm glad I know now that I don't have to hide or be ashamed of my antisemitism. My neighbor is a Jew. I always avoided her for fear of saying something to offend her. After seeing the way you people act, I'm inspired. Next time I see her I'm going to tell her exactly what Jesus and I think of her. Who knows. I might cause her to fear hell and accept Jesus, for he is the only way in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
I don't get it.
It is alright, my son. The Pope told me the exact same joke as "kill_dano'" here, and I laughed my ass off. Some folks can tell a joke. Some folks can't


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-08-2011, 05:41 AM

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Originally Posted by Titus Templeton View Post
This whole thread is in really bad taste. I read Anne Frank's book, and it was really deep. The Holocaust makes me so sad. Did she ever go on to write anything else?



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Of these, spirit is primary,
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the eternal field of consciousness.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-08-2011, 05:45 AM

Hey, that reminds me of a joke Brother Monty told me recently.


What's brown and hides in the attic?

The Diarrhea Of Anne Frank




Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-08-2011, 08:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ManyPaths View Post
This whole thread is in really bad taste. I read Anne Frank's book, and it was really deep. The Holocaust makes me so sad. Did she ever go on to write anything else?
Nah. She was a one-hit wonder.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-08-2011, 08:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ManyPaths View Post
This whole thread is in really bad taste. I read Anne Frank's book, and it was really deep. The Holocaust makes me so sad. Did she ever go on to write anything else?
Very amusing, Many Pathologies. There isn't a printed version of "The Diary of Anne Frank" sold anywhere that does not include editorial content as to her fate in the concentration camps.

The liberals just have to keep hitting people over the head with their "peace, love and tolerance" message, which isn't what I think Anne was writing about at all. I'm pretty sure she just went on and on about her period and the lack of nice clothes and her slutty sexual awakening with the only boy in the attic with her. Sheesh! You would think the guy would stop and realize she only gave him the time of day because she literally had no other choice. Show some self-respect, little Jew Boy!

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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-08-2011, 08:41 AM

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Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Very amusing, Many Pathologies. There isn't a printed version of "The Diary of Anne Frank" sold anywhere that does not include editorial content as to her fate in the concentration camps.

The liberals just have to keep hitting people over the head with their "peace, love and tolerance" message, which isn't what I think Anne was writing about at all. I'm pretty sure she just went on and on about her period and the lack of nice clothes and her slutty sexual awakening with the only boy in the attic with her. Sheesh! You would think the guy would stop and realize she only gave him the time of day because she literally had no other choice. Show some self-respect, little Jew Boy!

Disapprovingly Yours,
Handmaiden
Well the diary was HEAVILY edited by her father before anyone else could see it. Some accuse him of writing the entire thing.


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Angry Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-08-2011, 09:06 AM

Why are you people doing this? It is racist,antisemitic,and just evil!
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