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  • BelieverInGod
    Fourm Member
    Forum Member
    • Feb 2010
    • 9269
    #2386
    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

    Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
    True. Very much true. The Bible tells us that we can kiss fellow Christians: Romans 16:16 Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you.
    2 Corinthians 13:12 Greet one another with an holy kiss.

    Believe me, I always kiss my young ladies in my ministry on the lips whenever I greet them. We may continue to kiss for some time because I want to make sure I am following this commandment.
    Well since there is no question with this....

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    False. Despite the fact that I have been engaged for 7 years to Daisy Mae (Bible Thimping Blonde), I have never kissed ANYONE on the lips. I'm saving myself for our wedding night....Whenever that might occur...


    The person under me has placed a substantial wager on Oregon winning the BCS Championship game against Auburn by 20 points.
    False, I don't understand football, and I don't gamble.

    The person below me gets frustrated over the skipping in this game.
    Drama queen

      Comment

      • PetitionLady
        Hates Obama. Really Hates Obama. Actually, REALLY REALLY REALLY Hates Obama.
        Forum Member
        • Nov 2010
        • 883
        #2387
        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

        Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
        Well since there is no question with this....


        False, I don't understand football, and I don't gamble.

        The person below me gets frustrated over the skipping in this game.
        False, I save my frustration for people who come here to mock God.

        The person below me plans to ring in the new year with prayer and praise!!

        Psalm 105:1-4

        1O give thanks unto the LORD; call upon his name: make known his deeds among the people. 2Sing unto him, sing psalms unto him: talk ye of all his wondrous works.
        3Glory ye in his holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the LORD.
        4Seek the LORD, and his strength: seek his face evermore.


        But whosoever shall deny me before men,
        him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
        ~Matt. 10:33
        ~~~~~~~
        Theme song in hell: "I Did it My Way"

          Comment

          • Gabriel Reproba
            Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
            The Most Honest Lawyer in America
            True Christian™
            • Nov 2009
            • 2479
            #2388
            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

            Originally posted by PetitionLady View Post
            False, I save my frustration for people who come here to mock God.

            The person below me plans to ring in the new year with prayer and praise!!
            Of course!

            The person below me has read every page of the Bible.
            Yours In Christ,

            Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

            Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

            Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
            Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
            The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
            Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
            How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
            20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
            God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
            Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
            Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
            Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
            There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
            Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

            Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

              Comment

              • Lycia The Repentant
                Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord
                Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2010
                • 2019
                #2389
                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                True! I am a True Christian(tm), after all.

                The person below me is planning on having an extra sinful New Year's celebration.
                "Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

                An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
                Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
                My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
                Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
                An Open Question to All false christians.

                  Comment

                  • Dutch Girl
                    Unsaved trash - God mocking whore
                    • Nov 2010
                    • 283
                    #2390
                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                    Originally posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
                    The person below me is planning on having an extra sinful New Year's celebration.
                    You betcha! I plan to have at least two threesomes and a gang bang .

                    The person below me never has fun because (s)he is afraid of Hell.


                    Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He’d hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He’d windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee’s knees. Jesus is like the monster truck of love and you are an old Geo Metro which he will roar his massive engine over and crush your pathetic fiberglass frame into a crumpled heap. Praise Jesus, especially when it’s sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.

                    - Ecclesiastes xii.7

                      Comment

                      • Gabriel Reproba
                        Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
                        The Most Honest Lawyer in America
                        True Christian™
                        • Nov 2009
                        • 2479
                        #2391
                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                        Originally posted by Dutch Girl View Post
                        You betcha! I plan to have at least two threesomes and a gang bang .

                        The person below me never has fun because (s)he is afraid of Hell.

                        False! I HAVE fun because I am afraid of Hell. It is your fear of Hell that let's us enjoy our knowledge that we will be in Heaven soon while all the non-believing sinners burn in agony for all eternity. What could be more fun than that?

                        The person below me stole my brownie at the last singles mix and meet.
                        Yours In Christ,

                        Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

                        Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

                        Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
                        Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
                        The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
                        Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
                        How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
                        20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
                        God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
                        Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
                        Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
                        Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
                        There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
                        Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

                        Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

                          Comment

                          • Rev. M. Rodimer
                            Honorary True Christian™
                            Forum Member
                            • May 2008
                            • 13996
                            #2392
                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                            Originally posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
                            False! I HAVE fun because I am afraid of Hell. It is your fear of Hell that let's us enjoy our knowledge that we will be in Heaven soon while all the non-believing sinners burn in agony for all eternity. What could be more fun than that?

                            The person below me stole my brownie at the last singles mix and meet.
                            False. I prefer my young ladies just a tad older than Brownies.

                            The person under me is excited for a new year of possibility, and plans to launch a brand new ministry!
                            Bible boring? Nonsense!
                            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                              Comment

                              • Brother Scott
                                True Christian™
                                True Christian™
                                • Oct 2010
                                • 393
                                #2393
                                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                                False. I prefer my young ladies just a tad older than Brownies.

                                The person under me is excited for a new year of possibility, and plans to launch a brand new ministry!
                                True


                                The person under me is a God mocking pagan harlot who would be happier in a modern day Babylon than in a God fearing Christian nation as this country was intended to be until a rabid heathen Muslim usurper stole the last election.
                                [Rev 19:20] And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone


                                PALIN/BACHMAN 2016

                                With their husbands permission of course

                                  Comment

                                  • proteastantguy
                                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                                    • Aug 2010
                                    • 488
                                    #2394
                                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                    Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                                    False. I prefer my young ladies just a tad older than Brownies.

                                    The person under me is excited for a new year of possibility, and plans to launch a brand new ministry!
                                    True true.

                                    The person under me, can look back at 2010 with lots of Godly inspiration.

                                      Comment

                                      • Janine Walker
                                        True Christian™
                                        • Dec 2010
                                        • 420
                                        #2395
                                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                        Originally posted by proteastantguy View Post
                                        True true.

                                        The person under me, can look back at 2010 with lots of Godly inspiration.
                                        True

                                        The person under me has dealt with previously being a homosexual. He is now a Christian.

                                          Comment

                                          • Billy Bob Jenkins
                                            Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
                                            About as Straight and Manly as you can get
                                            Hates anal sex. And trees.
                                            True Christian™
                                            • May 2010
                                            • 8337
                                            #2396
                                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                            Originally posted by Janine Walker View Post
                                            True

                                            The person under me has dealt with previously being a homosexual. He is now a Christian.
                                            False. I have been on a crusade against anal sex for longer than I can remember.

                                            The person below me is a mongrel.
                                            The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                                              Comment

                                              • PetitionLady
                                                Hates Obama. Really Hates Obama. Actually, REALLY REALLY REALLY Hates Obama.
                                                Forum Member
                                                • Nov 2010
                                                • 883
                                                #2397
                                                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                False.

                                                The person under me got up early in the morning, January 1st, to praise God for another year to carry out His will. (That person will relax and kick off their shoes today.)
                                                But whosoever shall deny me before men,
                                                him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
                                                ~Matt. 10:33
                                                ~~~~~~~
                                                Theme song in hell: "I Did it My Way"

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Gabriel Reproba
                                                    Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
                                                    The Most Honest Lawyer in America
                                                    True Christian™
                                                    • Nov 2009
                                                    • 2479
                                                    #2398
                                                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                    Originally posted by PetitionLady View Post
                                                    False.

                                                    The person under me got up early in the morning, January 1st, to praise God for another year to carry out His will. (That person will relax and kick off their shoes today.)

                                                    1/2 true. I DID wake up early to praise God, but I won't be able to relax today (or any other day) until all people understand True Christianity™!

                                                    The person below me still has some eggnog left in their fridge!
                                                    Yours In Christ,

                                                    Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

                                                    Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

                                                    Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
                                                    Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
                                                    The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
                                                    Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
                                                    How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
                                                    20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
                                                    God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
                                                    Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
                                                    Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
                                                    Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
                                                    There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
                                                    Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

                                                    Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Pastor Ezekiel
                                                        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                                         
                                                        • Sep 2006
                                                        • 78552
                                                        #2399
                                                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                        Originally posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
                                                        The person below me still has some eggnog left in their fridge!
                                                        Well, that might be true. I'm not even sure where my fridge is to be honest. My servants do that sort of thing for me...And I drink eggnog all year long, so I suppose it must be true.



                                                        The person under me refuses to eat seaweed, no matter how the slopes cook 'em.
                                                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Cranky Old Man
                                                            Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                                                            You kids get off his lawn!
                                                             
                                                            • Jan 2010
                                                            • 22353
                                                            #2400
                                                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                                            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                                            The person under me refuses to eat seaweed, no matter how the slopes cook 'em.
                                                            True, seaweed is for fish, not for humans. I don't eat much fish either as there is not much sport in hunting them. With exception to the dynamite whale fishing trip I hade once with Free Market Fred.

                                                            The person below me just burned down his neighbor's house to make sure there are no Christmas trees left.
                                                            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                                                            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                                                            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                                                              Comment

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