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  • Pastor Isaac Peters
    Senior Pastor
    Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
    Always Biblically correct
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 10639

    #1456
    Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

    Excuse us for resting on God's promise in His Word.

    1 John 5:13: These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.
    This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

    Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

    sigpic

    Comment

    • Rev. Jim Osborne
      True Christian™ Televangelist
      Director of Fundraising and Tithing
      On the Look Out for Wife #6!
      True Christian™
      • Jun 2009
      • 8622

      #1457
      Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

      PRAAAAAAIIIISEE!!!! That harlot Lady-Gaga impersonating race-mixing drunken whore AMY WINEHOUSE is dead! I'd be willing to bet $100 that Jesus Himself read my little dead whore list above and decided to add to it.



      That meth-filled mouth is now open to Satan's barbed tallywhacker for all eternity.

      Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

      Comment

      • SUV
        True Christian™ Princess
        The Driving Force behind RA12
        Have at it, anytime!
        • Sep 2006
        • 11027

        #1458
        Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

        Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
        That meth-filled mouth is now open to Satan's barbed tallywhacker for all eternity.
        Hallelujah!

        Poor Satan

        Comment

        • Titus Templeton
          Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
          Jesus macht frei
          True Christian™
          • Aug 2010
          • 5912

          #1459
          Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

          Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
          PRAAAAAAIIIISEE!!!! That harlot Lady-Gaga impersonating race-mixing drunken whore AMY WINEHOUSE is dead! I'd be willing to bet $100 that Jesus Himself read my little dead whore list above and decided to add to it.
          Praise the Lord!!
          Its an miracle how you get those informations faster then the news, Reverend!
          -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
          -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
          -Holocaust Jokes
          -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
          -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
          -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
          -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
          -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!

          Comment

          • Talitha
            Deaconess
            Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
            True Christian™
            • Dec 2025
            • 15118

            #1460
            Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

            Originally posted by Rev Jim
            PRAAAAAAIIIISEE!!!! That harlot Lady-Gaga impersonating race-mixing drunken whore AMY WINEHOUSE is dead! I'd be willing to bet $100 that Jesus Himself read my little dead whore list above and decided to add to it.
            Click image for larger version

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            Now with Satan.

            She shoulda gone to rehab but she said no, no, no!

            She was already full of chemicals they won't need to embalm her body.

            Choo-Choo..................

            Sister Talitha

            Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


            HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
            being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



            Comment

            • Ezekiel Bathfire
              Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
              Christ's Rottweiler
               
              • Jan 2008
              • 22854

              #1461
              Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

              Why am not surprised? The stereotypical harlot, a worthless human being, even God had had enough. Satan will have prepared a vial of heroin permanently outside her grasp and be rasping her vocal chords with a red hot file.
              sigpic


              “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

              Author of such illuminating essays as,
              Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

              Comment

              • Zechariah Smyth
                Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
                True Christian™
                • Feb 2011
                • 15251

                #1462
                Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                Why am not surprised? The stereotypical harlot, a worthless human being, even God had had enough. Satan will have prepared a vial of heroin permanently outside her grasp and be rasping her vocal chords with a red hot file.
                I think He's way ahead of you.



                Yours in Christ,

                Z. Smyth
                sigpic

                Comment

                • Mistress Cookie
                  Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                  True Christian™
                  • Jul 2008
                  • 6790

                  #1463
                  Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                  Coming here to log on, I saw so many pictures of teens crying in the news. I didn't know Little Miss Wino-house was still so popular with the young people



                  I did read one brave thing about the deceased demoness, though, believe it or not.

                  Winehouse's performances were sometimes shambolic, and she admitted she is "a terrible drunk." She acknowledged struggling with eating disorders and told a newspaper that she had been diagnosed as manic depressive but refused to take medication.
                  At least it's brave she refused to play into the hands of the sickular "scientists" and try to "treat" her "manic depression" (a word that's not even in the Bible, so we know it's a made-up word.)

                  Plus, she did us all a favor, cuz if she did try to treat this non-existant problem, she might have lasted longer, and we'd have to hear her caterwauling forever and ever....good ridance!

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Isaac Peters
                    Senior Pastor
                    Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                    Always Biblically correct
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 10639

                    #1464
                    Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                    When I heard on the radio that Amy Whinehouse had been called down to do a command performance for Satan, I shouted, "Thank You, Jesus!" loudly enough that the driver in the lane next to me looked up from his cell phone and asked me what the excitement was.
                    This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                    Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

                    sigpic

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78552

                      #1465
                      Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                      Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
                      PRAAAAAAIIIISEE!!!! That harlot Lady-Gaga impersonating race-mixing drunken whore AMY WINEHOUSE is dead! I'd be willing to bet $100 that Jesus Himself read my little dead whore list above and decided to add to it.



                      That meth-filled mouth is now open to Satan's barbed tallywhacker for all eternity.

                      Never heard of her.

                      Where's Zsa-zsa!?
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • Mrs. Mary Whitford
                        Ladies of Landover Senior VP
                        One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
                        Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
                        True Christian™
                        • Dec 2006
                        • 12414

                        #1466
                        Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                        GLORY!

                        Has Justin Bieber started on a debilitated drug addiction yet?
                        Posted via Prayer

                        1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
                        Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

                        Blogging for CHRIST!
                        Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
                        All a-Twitter for Salvation!
                        Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
                        On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
                        My Ladies of Landover profile!

                        Comment

                        • SUV
                          True Christian™ Princess
                          The Driving Force behind RA12
                          Have at it, anytime!
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 11027

                          #1467
                          Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                          Still, I'm sad because now she can never go back to Rehab. The Fellowship! The games they play! The Christian 12-step programs!

                          Well, ho-hum. Her loss - Satan's gain

                          Comment

                          • Pastor Ezekiel
                            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                             
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 78552

                            #1468
                            Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                            Praise Jesus, God has sent another member of the Jew York Yankees to hell. This one was a slope.



                            Former Yankees pitcher Hideki Irabu found dead


                            Former New York Yankees pitcher Hideki Irabu was found dead Wednesday in Rancho Palos Verdes, Calif.

                            “He was found dead by an apparent suicide,” county sheriff’s Sgt. Michael Arriaga said.

                            Irabu, 42, lived in Rancho Palos Verdes but it was not immediately clear whether it was his home, the sergeant said. Other details were not immediately released. Los Angeles County coroner’s official Ed Winter said Irabu’s body was found by a friend and law enforcement was notified.

                            Winter said the coroner’s office was not releasing any circumstances of the death other than it was being investigated as a suicide.

                            Irabu was billed as the Japanese version of Nolan Ryan when he arrived in the United States in 1997. But after an impressive major-league debut with the Yankees that summer, he never came close to fulfilling such lofty expectations.

                            Rather, he always wore the label that late Yankees owner George Steinbrenner stuck on him after Irabu failed to cover first base during an exhibition game: “Fat ... toad.”

                            “He was a world-class pitcher. When Nolan Ryan saw him he said he had never seen anything like it,” said former major-league manager Bobby Valentine, who managed Irabu in Japan. “There were just some days when he was as good a pitcher as I had ever seen. A fabulous arm.”

                            Irabu finished 34-35 with a 5.15 ERA in three seasons.
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • Pastor Ezekiel
                              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                               
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 78552

                              #1469
                              Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                              Can you believe it!? Zsa-zsa's greasy foreigner husband has wasted thousands on a billboard celebrating their devilish union. I only hope brother Monty doesn't see this.

                              Who Will Jesus Damn?

                              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                              Comment

                              • Mistress Cookie
                                Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                                True Christian™
                                • Jul 2008
                                • 6790

                                #1470
                                Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                                HOW did I miss this ? ? ? ? ?

                                Dame Barbara Cartland, who has died aged 98, was a confection entirely of her own making: a romantic novelist of unrivalled output, a doughty champion of unlikely causes, the most reliable sound-bite artiste of her times, and step grandmother of Diana, Princess of Wales.

                                12:00AM BST 22 May 2000

                                In her later years, she cut an unmistakeable figure in a froth of pink ball gown with extravagant, almost clown-like, make-up - her cheeks pulled back with sadly visible bits of sticking plaster. This facade of pancake and tulle, however, concealed an iron constitution, a steely determination, and a mind which, though often contrary and in an eccentric orbit of its own, was seldom less than razor sharp. She was a formidable fairy queen.

                                She boasted, in a Who's Who entry which takes more than a page merely to list her 700 books, that she was the best-selling author in the world, with sales of 750 million. Some doubted.

                                Although there was once public embarrassment when it was discovered that an inaccurate birth-date appeared in Who's Who (secretarial error, claimed the Dame) she was actually born Barbara Hamilton Cartland on July 9 1901, at her grandparents' house at Edgbaston. Her parents, she later claimed, would have preferred a boy. When, in the course of a difficult labour, her father was asked by the doctor whether he should save the life of mother or child, he said: "Damn the bloody child! Save my wife."

                                In some respects, Cartland was a crashing snob. One interviewer asked her whether she thought class barriers had disappeared and was told that of course they had - otherwise, why on earth did he suppose someone like her would be talking to someone like him.

                                For most of her life she was fascinated, professionally and personally, by the relationship between the sexes. In private she would discuss sexual matters with an explicitness verging on the bawdy (she was fascinating on the subject of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor's private parts); but in public she proclaimed a virginal romanticism verging on the prudish.

                                Her first brush with men came in the Bath period, when a libidinous major invited her to his bedroom in order to show her "how his revolver worked". But in 1919, on holiday, she first discovered the thrill of male company. She claimed to have received three proposals of marriage that fortnight alone. In time this rose to around 50.

                                Outliving her few rivals as the "Queen of Romantic Fiction", she became almost a self-parody, and yet was saved by herself from becoming as absurd as her detractors might have liked. She had a wry self awareness, never more so than when she declined to appear on stage with female impersonator Danny la Rue, on the grounds that no one in the audience would know who was who.

                                Despite failing eyesight, she continued to produce novels until almost the very end and became an aged pin-up, widely loved. In 1991 she circulated to newspaper editors a folder tied with pink ribbon, labelled in blue felt-tip: The History of Barbara Cartland and "How I Want to be Remembered". It was wholly positive in approach. "In 1981, I was chosen," she told the world, "as Achiever of the Year by the National Home Furnishing Association of Colorado Springs."

                                It lists every one of her hundreds of novels as well as "Her Other Wonderful Books" including biography (Metternich - the Passionate Diplomat) and five cook books (the recipes were devised by her long-serving chef, Nigel). Her final addition was "being published in Poland and the Arab world because I am moral".
                                .
                                I do not know where to begin...

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