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  • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

    Originally posted by Acts 29 View Post
    Okay, I think I can start to see where you got this from except you seem to have completely misunderstood what I wrote. Christ loved the church by dying for her and offering her eternal life, not by suddenly losing his cool and then saying that God made him do it on the internet.
    Let me ask you something: Are you a damned papist?
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment


    • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

      Actually Satan tortured Job, God gave him permission because he knew Job wouldn't turn away from him.

      Comment


      • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

        Originally posted by Mei Saeki View Post
        Actually Satan tortured Job, God gave him permission because he knew Job wouldn't turn away from him.
        Isaiah 45:7

        7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things.
        sigpic
        Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

        John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

        Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
        The truth about volcanos
        Sex and debauchery in public schools
        Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
        God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
        Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

        Comment


        • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

          Originally posted by Mei Saeki View Post
          Actually Satan tortured Job, God gave him permission because he knew Job wouldn't turn away from him.
          Exactly. Apparently, God was bored and decided to make a bet with the Devil - a bet that He already knew He would win because He knows everything.

          The cruel death of the entire Job's family (Job 1:18-19), was just a collateral damage resulting from that innocent play that God was having with the Devil. Besides, afterwards God rewarded Job with more children (Job 42:13-15), so the murder of the first batch was perfectly fine.
          God created fossils to test our faith.

          * * *

          My favorite LBC sermons:
          True Christians are Perfect!
          True Christian™ Love.
          Salvation™ made Easy!
          You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
          Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
          Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
          Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
          Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
          The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
          Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
          God HATES Rational Thinking!
          True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

          Comment


          • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

            Amen Brother, put that *** lame attemts to troll removed *** Hope all this helps.


            - Boi Crusher

            Comment


            • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

              Crusher, is that you? You wouldn't happen to be my Crusher, are you? Just what do you think you're doing, trolling God's Favourite Forum, young man?

              Comment


              • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

                If I may Dolli, may I drive your son to Crisis Christian Camp personally out in the woods so he can get reformed and right with God again? I promise he will be a good Christian boy. I'm aware of how old he is and how strong he may be, but if he is causing trouble like this and embarrassing you, I want to take it upon myself to drive him to the help he needs. The camp is nowhere that you need to know. Many bad boys and young male adults are sent there to a remote location to have some sense knocked into them by the almighty hands of God himself. I make frequent trips to drop off the troubled youth that cause trouble on my pig ranch when they should be working for me.

                Comment


                • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

                  I hesitate as a Mayor in get involved in the personal lives of Freehold citizens.

                  I do feel some responsibility, however, to at least minimize violence against wives and children. We know this violence can be kept to a minimum by children obeying the parents and wives obeying their husbands. So I encourage wives and children to avoid being injured by taking precautions. Always listen carefully to what is expected of you and follow through accordingly.

                  I am so grateful you have elected me as your Mayor and hope this bit of advice is helpful.
                  Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                  Comment


                  • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

                    Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
                    I hesitate as a Mayor in get involved in the personal lives of Freehold citizens.

                    I do feel some responsibility, however, to at least minimize violence against wives and children. We know this violence can be kept to a minimum by children obeying the parents and wives obeying their husbands. So I encourage wives and children to avoid being injured by taking precautions. Always listen carefully to what is expected of you and follow through accordingly.

                    I am so grateful you have elected me as your Mayor and hope this bit of advice is helpful.
                    Very helpful. I feel like today's culture encourages women to seek "equality" and "empowerment," without realizing these are the devil's buzzwords for Sin. A woman's natural place is beside her husband, serving him and supporting him. I can say on behalf of all women that we genuinely, deeply, feel better when we humbly meet our husband's needs, not when seek after our own pleasures of the flesh.
                    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                    Comment


                    • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

                      Originally posted by Bubba Buck View Post
                      If I may Dolli, may I drive your son to Crisis Christian Camp personally out in the woods so he can get reformed and right with God again? I promise he will be a good Christian boy. I'm aware of how old he is and how strong he may be, but if he is causing trouble like this and embarrassing you, I want to take it upon myself to drive him to the help he needs. The camp is nowhere that you need to know. Many bad boys and young male adults are sent there to a remote location to have some sense knocked into them by the almighty hands of God himself. I make frequent trips to drop off the troubled youth that cause trouble on my pig ranch when they should be working for me.
                      I would love it if you could take my disgusting sinner-of-a-son to this camp of yours, it seems wonderful. His name is Isaac Flenderson and since I don't have so much time to devote to his education (as I am busy arming the men of Christ in their struggle against the forces of evil.) he has turned out to be a disgusting little Sodomite brat of a child that needs some disciplining. I'm sure he'll consent as long as I tell him he's going to this "ComicCon" he keeps talking about, or whatever Satanic sect he's joined now. I'm so pleased to find a man like you willing to beat him back onto the right path and make him the God-fearing soldier of Christ he was meant to be!
                      Praise the LORD!

                      Psalm 27:1
                      The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

                      Comment


                      • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

                        AMEN! So did I today!
                        Ecclesiastes 5:3b "A fool's voice is known by multitude of words."

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                        • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

                          To Arnie, I would definitely be willing to take your son under my wing. I would need you to privately message me pictures of him though to see if he is fit for my needs on my ranch though.

                          To Diesel, you hit your wife but you haven't really explained why. If it is God's will that you hit your wife then so be it, but if you are hitting your wife to fit in or feel good about yourself, then you have issues my friend.

                          Comment


                          • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

                            I have always wondered if I should have physically disciplined my (now) ex-wife more before she (then) left me.

                            I think on balance I’m glad I did not as she quickly chose to be attracted to the same sex sexualism in a sexualised sexualistic manner.

                            As she is now far stronger than any normal man and might take it into her lesbiopath brain to assault me. The mighty muscles of the lesbian have a similar musculoskeletal aspect of a chimpanzee or gorilla (and is often used by atheioevolutistcialim advocates to suggest chimps and people are related).

                            But just because lesbians are a strong as a gorilla does not mean they ARE gorillas: that’s just common sense.

                            As I’m now in the beginnings of a romantic relationship with Magda I will not make the same mistakes of the past.

                            I have developed a scheme I call Proactive Discipline

                            This time is more considered, loving and reasonable: I shall begin Proactive Discipline by lovingly undermining her self esteem by lovingly criticising her when she felt any sense of pride or accomplishment.

                            My current research on my soon to be wife, Magda (who used to be my house keeper so is accustomed to servility) has indicated that good phrases for Proactive Discipline are: "yeah, but you could have done better, couldn't you?", "did you actually think that was good enough?", "for God's sake, I'll do it shall I?" and "why are you crying?."

                            You see what you may notice is that they are all questions that ask her to justify her thoughts and actions. A Biblical(KJV1611) beating does not HAVE to be physical: just effective.

                            That's right: I encourage her to ALWAYS seek my approval for everything she thinks or does, EVER. A great way to do this is to imply at every turn that she is NOTHING without me and that NOBODY BUT ME will ever like her.

                            I gently imply that other people see her for the shallow empty thing that she is (using a healthy confirmation bias that low confidence people always have) and that hey talk about her and judge her (I do my best to chose personality traits of hers she feels worst about) behind her back: and they laugh at her.

                            To reduce the chance of hateful outsiders trying to break up our Christian love match I’m leaving subtle hints that she has started taking antidepressants (citalopram 40mg is a good choice as you can say she has an anxiety disorder and well as depression) were her family and friends might find them.

                            When I (unfortunately) have to speak to her ghastly Polish family I constantly make good hearted excuses for her being so quiet so as to foster the idea that she is greatly disturbed and they will gradually start to withdraw their friendship and support (remember, no one likes a mentalist) from her and doubtless she will soon realise this and she will feel more isolated and lonely than ever.

                            From here I fully intend to reinforce the idea that NOBODY LOVES HER LIKE I DO. This is very important: I must become the centre of her entire world (I can't stress this enough, I really can't).

                            Eventually I predict that she will become dependent on me and any unavoidable bruises can be dealt with by keeping her inside by saying "she's having a bad day, she missed her meds...". This should also endear me to her friends and I can monitor any nosy parkers from sticking their beaks where they are not wanted.

                            Well, I’m going to see how this pans out.

                            Prayers would be appreciated.

                            YIC
                            1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                            Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                            Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                            Comment


                            • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

                              Dr Niles,


                              You know I love you deeply, but from one handsome man to another handsome man, are you thinking of your nephew's reaction to this relationship? What if he lies in bed under your careful surveillance, his youthful mind ensnared by the feelings of abandonment he feels each time you and this Magda person embrace in any sort of embracing fashion? Can you live with that, especially in consideration of your profession? You are to heal, not hurt, man!


                              I'm not calling you selfish, but it just seems to me there are people out here who would be very sad to see you in the arms of a woman. Remember your first wife remains among the living. Don't be an adulterous breeding animal, Lawrence! Think! Think of those who adore you before you make a mistake that might cut you off from the simple pleasures of life.


                              And whatever you do, don't get any wine.


                              BrotherLarry
                              Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
                              “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

                              Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
                              Amen and Amen

                              Comment


                              • Re: I hit my wife for the first time

                                Originally posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
                                As I’m now in the beginnings of a romantic relationship with Magda I will not make the same mistakes of the past.

                                I have developed a scheme I call Proactive Discipline

                                ....

                                Prayers would be appreciated.
                                Praying!

                                Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                                Comment

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