The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum

Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-26-2009, 07:00 PM
Bob4God's Avatar
Bob4God Bob4God is offline
Moderator
Arms Dealer for CHRIST
Hands folded for Jesus
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award Gunfest '06 2008 Witch Hunt Award Silver Tither Real American™ Heaven Bound Home Schooled Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Ex-Gay Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Christian Love Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
Posts: 5,211
Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

The Landover Baptist forums are a goldmine of GODly True Christian guidance, perspectives, articles, and Bible studies. Because of the high volume of new posts and revelations that come upon us each day, many of GOD's Greatest Hits quickly disappear into the back-pages of our forums.

If you're looking for answers to any of life's greatest questions, see below for the light that GOD has given us to share with you! Chances are your concerns have already been addressed!

True Christian brothers and sisters, please add the best threads you can find in our forums to this list!



Being a True Christian and Walking with GOD



  • Praising GOD in the Bathroom I list a handful of ways that you can turn the unpleasant act of going to the bathroom into a GODly experience!

Homosexuality



  • Gay Bowel Syndrome Sister Mary Maria's quick look at the unpleasant consequences of gay sex. What other reasons do you need to be straight?

Christian Parenting and Family Matters


  • Despicable advertising slogans Old Man Hatchet compiles an impressive list of shameful slogans that assault Christian values and the American family.
  • How sluts are made Brother Nobar King has an eye for depravity, and he warns us of the causes of harlotry!


Creation Science and the Earth and Universe


  • Proof of a Young Earth Pastor Billy-Reuben is back, and this time with the help of a pocket calculator and JESUS, He PROVES that the Earth is only 6,000 years old!


History



Christian Sexuality (WOMEN AND CHILDREN BE ADVISED!)

  • Keep it UP, Guys Old Man Hatchet handles the issue of positioning your unmentionables in your undergarments with great taste.


Politics and Government

  • The Big Lie of Katrina This could be the first small step in the journey of revealing the truth to the world! Thanks to ditchhook for sharing.

Supernatural threats and Cults



Just for Kids!

  • The Devil's Headlights Rebellious Cody was on his way to secular university, but GOD had another plan for his life!
__________________

The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!



Last edited by Bob4God; 02-27-2010 at 06:07 PM. Reason: Consolidated and updated list
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-26-2009, 08:43 PM
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch. Revelation 6:8
Posts: 22,372
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

That's a very comprehensive list of threads, Brother Bob4. Thanks for putting that together.
__________________
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-27-2009, 05:00 AM
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 7 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
 

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Posts: 13,706
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

Thank you Brother B4G. This compilation is a work of True Christian excellence and will ensure you a place along Christ's Right hand side.
__________________


Find me on FaceBook Here
Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here


Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-28-2009, 12:06 AM
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Posts: 17,919
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

Bookmarked for rebuke of the ungodly and a reference for the rest of us.
__________________


Amen Bathfire E
We are the pure and chosen few,
And all the rest are damned.
There’s room enough in hell for you—
We don’t want heaven crammed.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-28-2009, 11:53 PM
JennyD's Avatar
JennyD JennyD is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 Saved 1 Year Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Lady 

Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
Posts: 9,565
JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

Brother B4G, I note that you seem to have bypassed the Godly Republican Politics section. Surely there are important messages for our visitors there, as well!
__________________
www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

Christian Ladies:
Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-28-2009, 11:59 PM
Bob4God's Avatar
Bob4God Bob4God is offline
Moderator
Arms Dealer for CHRIST
Hands folded for Jesus
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award Gunfest '06 2008 Witch Hunt Award Silver Tither Real American™ Heaven Bound Home Schooled Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Ex-Gay Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Christian Love Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
Posts: 5,211
Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD View Post
Brother B4G, I note that you seem to have bypassed the Godly Republican Politics section. Surely there are important messages for our visitors there, as well!
Well spotted sister, but I do not intend to neglect that part of our forum. I am merely covering other areas before delving into our political wisdom, as there is such a mass of threads there!
__________________

The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-01-2009, 12:02 AM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 76,291
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
Well spotted sister, but I do not intend to neglect that part of our forum. I am merely covering other areas before delving into our political wisdom, as there is such a mass of threads there!
Don't mind her, Brother. She gets uppity at certain times of the month if you know what I mean.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-01-2009, 12:03 AM
JennyD's Avatar
JennyD JennyD is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 Saved 1 Year Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Lady 

Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
Posts: 9,565
JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Don't mind her, Brother. She gets uppity at certain times of the month if you know what I mean.
Pastor, remember the story about my mood ring?

Maybe you should look at my ring closely.
__________________
www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

Christian Ladies:
Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-11-2009, 09:22 AM
Larry Lee's Avatar
Larry Lee Larry Lee is offline
Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither Saved 10 Years Real American™ Ribfest '02 Christian Love Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,343
Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

B4G, you've offered Humankind a very great gift.

...And practically authored your own "Epistle of Bob to a LIEbrul world." (Although, for final publication, you'll want to include more bits about Sister Ayn Rand and the Godliness of neoliberal solutions, but those are matters you should be able to handle without much effort. Otherwise, Well done!)
__________________


I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 04-11-2011, 03:52 AM
obamabuddy's Avatar
obamabuddy obamabuddy is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 21
obamabuddy is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Thumbs up Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

AMEN!
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 02-11-2012, 11:51 PM
Holyfield's Avatar
Holyfield Holyfield is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: All White Neighbourhood
Posts: 244
Holyfield has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holyfield has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holyfield has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holyfield has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holyfield has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holyfield has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holyfield has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
True Christian brothers and sisters, please add the best threads you can find in our forums to this list!
I may not be a True Christian, but I do love this thread:
Fox news: Don't marry "other species/ethnics"
__________________
Matt 5:17-20 "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven:..."
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 05-28-2012, 06:13 AM
BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
Fourm Member
Forum Member

True Christian™ Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian True Christian Homemaker True Christian Lady Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Bronze Tither Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Persecuted The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pro-Life Punched the most queers True Republican 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
Posts: 9,279
BelieverInGod is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

Wow, that's an amazing list. You must have put a lot of work into it!

Thank you Brother, I am adding it to my bookmarked folder of LBC wisdom
__________________
Drama queen
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 08-22-2012, 04:30 AM
Integra-T's Avatar
Integra-T Integra-T is offline
Unsaved trash
 

Fluffy bunny Cherry-picker 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chattanooga, TN
Posts: 26
Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

Is there a post about going to college anywhere? I scrolled through like 5 pages but didunt see anything. I'm starting college this week and I'm feeling sort of lost. I'm wondering if maybe I should maybe take some time off and like go backpacking across Europe and find myself. I think I want to go into Christian counceling but I just don't know. I keep asking God what He wants from me but I still havunt gotten a calling from Him.

Classes start tomorrow and I'm just wondering what to do.
__________________
Luke 22:20
In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 08-22-2012, 04:35 AM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 76,291
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Integra-T View Post
Is there a post about going to college anywhere? I scrolled through like 5 pages but didunt see anything. I'm starting college this week and I'm feeling sort of lost. I'm wondering if maybe I should maybe take some time off and like go backpacking across Europe and find myself. I think I want to go into Christian counceling but I just don't know. I keep asking God what He wants from me but I still havunt gotten a calling from Him.

Classes start tomorrow and I'm just wondering what to do.
You're a damned queer, aren't you boy.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 08-22-2012, 04:43 AM
Integra-T's Avatar
Integra-T Integra-T is offline
Unsaved trash
 

Fluffy bunny Cherry-picker 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chattanooga, TN
Posts: 26
Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

I admit I've had SSA before. I used to get teased at baseball practice cuz I always got wood and you could see it cuz of the pants. I always pretended it was cuz of girls though and people believed me. My Christian friends know though and weve prayed about it a lot. But I know its a sin to act on SSA and have a girlfriend who I plan to marry. God doesunt give us more than we can handle so I know that if I want to serve Him I can't be gay.
__________________
Luke 22:20
In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 08-22-2012, 04:57 AM
Stevent33 Stevent33 is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 22
Stevent33 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Integra-T View Post
I admit I've had SSA before. I used to get teased at baseball practice cuz I always got wood and you could see it cuz of the pants. I always pretended it was cuz of girls though and people believed me. My Christian friends know though and weve prayed about it a lot. But I know its a sin to act on SSA and have a girlfriend who I plan to marry. God doesunt give us more than we can handle so I know that if I want to serve Him I can't be gay.

Integra-T,
First I'm glad that you admit that homosexual is wrong and a great sin regardless if your just "thinking about it". Most homosexuals won't admit that it's a sin and that their 'god' (I lowercased it on purpose because their god isn't real) will be understanding it, since in their eyes they were born with it.
I'm glad that you are able to overcome these nasty tendenices and wish you the best of luck with your girlfriend. I sure hope your not fornicating with your girlfriend though.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 08-22-2012, 05:02 AM
Integra-T's Avatar
Integra-T Integra-T is offline
Unsaved trash
 

Fluffy bunny Cherry-picker 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chattanooga, TN
Posts: 26
Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stevent33 View Post
I sure hope your not fornicating with your girlfriend though.
No way!

We met at the Ichthus festival a few years ago and lived in different towns so we just wrote a lot. Mostly about Jesus. But now we both go to UT and I'm worried that she might lead me into temptation. I'm sort of thinking I should just go ahead and marry her?
__________________
Luke 22:20
In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 08-22-2012, 05:11 AM
Stevent33 Stevent33 is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 22
Stevent33 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

If you don't think your strong enough to fight her sexual advances, than yes it's better that you marry this girl. My question is however, do you love this girl truly with all your heart? If you don't truly love her, than you would best to get rid of her because God doesn't take to kindly to fornication. Besides your not getting any younger; it may be time to start popping out soldiers for God.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 08-22-2012, 05:12 AM
Billy Bob Jenkins's Avatar
Billy Bob Jenkins Billy Bob Jenkins is offline
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
About as Straight and Manly as you can get
Hates anal sex. And trees.
 

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Ex-Masturbator Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Home Schooled True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot The Hatchet Child Rearing Award One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Ex-treehugger Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
Posts: 7,998
Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Integra-T View Post
No way!

We met at the Ichthus festival a few years ago and lived in different towns so we just wrote a lot. Mostly about Jesus. But now we both go to UT and I'm worried that she might lead me into temptation. I'm sort of thinking I should just go ahead and marry her?
If this girl is tempting you, then she is an adulterous whore. Wouldn't you rather have a woman who has repented of all sin?
__________________
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 08-30-2012, 06:03 PM
Rev. M. Rodimer's Avatar
Rev. M. Rodimer Rev. M. Rodimer is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member

One Year/1000 posts Gunfest '07 True Christian™ Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager Long service medal, 3rd class Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Mission to Australia Pastor of GOD Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Ex-Masturbator 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Public Awareness Medal True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Christian Love Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
Posts: 14,063
Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stevent33 View Post
If you don't think your strong enough to fight her sexual advances, than yes it's better that you marry this girl. My question is however, do you love this girl truly with all your heart? If you don't truly love her, than you would best to get rid of her because God doesn't take to kindly to fornication. Besides your not getting any younger; it may be time to start popping out soldiers for God.
"Truly love her"?

What are you talking about? Are you one of those homosexuals?

A True Christian™ marriage is about raising Soldiers for Christ and maintaining the home. The questions he should be asking are:

"Is this woman a True Christian™?" Correct answer: Yes

"Is this woman attractive to me, to ensure I can perform to bring forth Soldiers for Christ?" Correct answer: Yes

"Does this woman have a strong body and childbearing hips?" Correct answer: Yes

"Is this woman a virgin?" Correct answer: Yes

"Can this woman handle physical labor such as kitchen work, lawnmowing, and snow-shoveling?" Correct answer: Yes

"Does this woman require excessive beauty treatments to serve vanity?" Correct answer: No

"Are there any hereditary problems in this woman's family, like insanity or ugliness?" Correct answer: No
__________________
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:11 AM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1999, 2009 all rights reserved